Agoraphobia ; A SwaggerSouls Fanfiction

4.

    "So how long have you lived in Melbourne?" He asked me. "If I'm being honest, I can't remember. Probably around 5 years? I moved here to get a change of pace," I told him. "But I didn't expect that change of pace to be me starting a whole career online with a bunch of people I don't know in person." I giggled. "Oh, I heard that dude." He laughed. "What kind of faceless are you? Like, no face at all or you show your eyes?" I asked him. "Sorta both. I've done an eye reveal before, but I decided to keep the helmet on after that. Yeah, I'll take it off if I need to, but other than that, it's balaclava, chainmail, and helmet." He shrugged, sipping the bitter coffee, then making a face while looking down at the cup. "Bitter." He squinted his eyes. I took a sip of mine, surprisingly it wasn't bad. It still wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. It was in between. Like when you get something you've wanted for years but it requires a long assembly. "This isn't awful," I said, looking down at the hot liquid. "But it's not that good." I said. "If we go on a date again, maybe not this place." I smiled. "Wait you- You consider this a date?" He forced out. "Is that not what this is?" My eyes widened nervously. I swear, I tuned everything out except for my heartbeat. It got louder and louder until I couldn't stand the thumping noise in my head anymore. I needed to get away. "Let me excuse myself-" I stood up from the boot rather quickly, speed walking to the bathroom.

   My chest tightened as the world around me started to spin. I felt scared. Almost terrified. Tears flooded my eyes yet I didn't let them fall. I looked up at the ceiling. It was textured with weird designs in boxes. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, Holding it in my hands tightly. I needed to touch something. Someone, something, anything. Anything would help in this situation. Anything to control sensory issues. Literally just whatever I could. I ran my hands over my phone case, the plastic material against my fingers, cold and smooth. It helped a bit, but not enough. I could rough it out and go back out there, or maybe just suffer in here for another few minutes.I took slow breaths, being careful not to overdo it. I could tell the panic was still there, but it was less. I slipped my phone back in my pocket, unlocking the bathroom stall door and walking to the mirrors and sinks. I washed my hands, the hot water feeling nice against my cold skin. I grabbed a paper towel, grabbed the handle and held the door with my foot. I tossed the piece of trash into the bin and stepped outside of the door, walking back to the table. "I'm really sorry, Eric. I didn't mean to freak out like that." I sat back down, not meeting eye contact with him. I could feel the cold air through the door against my body. "Hey, Sage, It's fine. Don't worry about it. We all have moments where we're unsure and scared," He set his Right hand on top of mine. "Please, Don't worry about it." He looked up at me. I sighed and nodded. "I'm gonna keep apologizing about this forever, ya know." I smiled and looked back at him. "Oh, it's fine. We'll probably laugh about this later on."

   I held the door for him, and as he stepped out he held the door for me. "Would you wanna go back to my place? Or is that too much for a first? If it is I'm really sorry-" I laughed. "I'll gladly go back to your place. It's not too much, don't be sorry. I'll follow you back?" I smiled. "That sounds good to me. Also, I live with 4 other idiots, and one of them who doesn't live there will most likely be there. So if they bother you, just tell me." I apologized. "Oh trust me, it's fine. I'm a college dropout, I lived in a fraternity house for 2 years." I laughed.

   We pulled into the driveway of the house, and damn it was big. It was a really nice house too. Very modern, very clean looking. I stepped out of my car, shutting the door behind me. I walked over to Eric, who had parked in front of me so I'd be able to get out when I left. "So," I looked at him. "I think I'm ready to meet them." I smiled nervously. "Sounds good, just follow me." He smiled. He took my hand in his and we walked up to the door, his keys fitting into the little hole and turning. The door opened, and I was brought to see a hall leading to a large living room and a large TV, With a kitchen not too far from it that had white and black marbling done on it. There were wooden steps with a gold handrail and the bottom being protected by glass. There was a birch wooden table with 4 microphones on it with a backdrop and a bunch of GamerSupps tins.

   "Hey, Retards!" Eric said loudly. I walked with him, still holding his hands as he walked to the group of people in the living room. "Hey, Swags." One said. I was stood a bit behind him, so I wouldn't be noticable immediately. "How wa-" The one who spoke beforehand sat up. "Who's that?" They said. Eric turned around and looked at me. "Uh- Guys, This is Sage. Or if you've seen her channel, ' SpecialGreen '. She does CS:GO stuff and other free range games like that." I looked up at him then looked down at my shoes. "Well, it's a bit unannounced but she seems polite. As long as you aren't another screaming idiot like Mason, We'll be fine." The one who'd been speaking said. "Uh, I'll try not to be." I spoke quietly with a smile. "Sorta quiet ain't she, mate?" A taller one looked at Eric. "Yeah, but she means well." Is he being defensive of me? "Well, I'll introduce you to them." Eric took my hand again, walking me over tho the small group on the couch. "The one that spoke first was McCreamy, Or Jay," Jay waved. He was sitting with another girl, possibly his girlfriend? He had his hand on her thigh. She had long dirty blonde hair and they both had pale skin. Jay had dark brown hair that was slicked back with a few curls falling in his face. "And this is Anna, his girlfriend." I smiled at the both of them. "Nice to meet you." I said to them. They both smiled at me. "And this is Toby, yes, she's a girl." She was very pretty, she had long dark brown hair that was down and a few strands hanging in her face. She was wearing a dark grey shirt with skeleton hands on her... Yeah. it was paired with black sweats. "Hello!" I smiled. "Hello, I love your shirt!" She said back. "Oh, thank you so much!" My smile widened. "I love yours too!" I giggled. She laughed. "Thank you!" We smiled at each other. "And this is Fitz, Or Cam, it doesn't matter. He's the tall motherfucker." Swagger rolled his eyes. "Hey, I can't help I'm 6'5 and you're... Short." Cam smirked. "Fuck off!" Eric said to him. "Is Mason here?" Eric said, slightly annoyed. "Yep, In his room. I'd advise you knock beforehand. Matt's at the mall." Toby told us. I smiled at the thought of the name Mason. It was my brother's name, I hadn't seen him since late 2019, due to Covid. "He's a wanker, watch out, Sage." Cam told me. I laughed and followed Eric back to the wooden table . There was a door, a white one with those weird gamer signs: 'Leave food at doorway' and 'DO NOT ENTER: EXTREME GAMING'. A little cringe, but if it what this guy likes. Eric knocked on the door, and waited for a response. "Come in!" A loud voice said. They had a thick accent, which I'm guessing was Australian. I mean, it makes sense. We are in Australia. Eric opened the door as I followed behind him. "Hey Maso, I got someone for you to meet." Eric said. My eyes met Mason's. "SAGE?!" Mason screamed. "MASON?!" I yelled back. Eric stood in his spot, extremely confused. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Mason shouted. "I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW!" I shouted back. We both started laughing, it progressively dying down as we heard more footsteps. Soon, they all were watching through the doorway. I ran up to Mason and hugged him tightly, not wanting this to end. "I still have all the postcards you send me from when you were in the frat! A- And all the polaroids you sent me!" He said, his voice cracking. "And I still have that picture of us from the last time we seen each other!" Even with his bad grammar, it's still my Maso. He dug around through his drawer swiftly, basically ripping out a photo of us. "Awh, Mason..." I hugged him again, my head in his chest. "Okay, Yeah, This is sweet, But what are you twos relations?" Eric asked. I turned around to him. "We're siblings. We haven't seen each other since 2019." I looked at the photo sitting on his desk, he had all the letters hung up on the wall above his bed frame and all the polaroids I sent him around the edge of his mirror. "I missed you." Mason tackled me into a hug, both of us falling on the ground. I hugged him back tightly, squeezing my arms around him.

"I can't believe it's you, sissy."