Love and Loyalty

~9~

Eliza awoke in a fright as she heard thunder roar above her. She sighed and smiled when she felt William's body next to hers. He looked so relaxed in comparison to when she first met him. His lower back and hips were still covered in the blanket, compared to his bare upper body. She noticed in the middle of the night that his back had several lash scars, why would he have had to endure such a horror? Those questions were probably best left unanswered in her opinion, he was already restless as it was. Maybe bringing up the war wasn't the best thing to do. She carefully unravelled from his embrace and got out of bed before walking over to her vanity

As she brushed her hair, William started stirring in his sleep, closely followed by him slowly opening his eyes. She spotted him sitting up and sleepily feeling the empty space in bed "Good morning handsome" Eliza smiled as she plaited her hair.

William looked towards her, smiled slightly before huddling against the pillow "I thought you had left, you gave me quite a fright" he mumbled before closing his eyes once again, feeling content that his girl hadn't left him in the middle of the night. After spending a decade alone, this feeling was almost completely foreign to him. Eliza glanced over her shoulder and shot him a smile. He quickly cleared his throat and came up with an excuse "W-well I've not awoken to a woman within the last decade...of course I would be looking for you"

"You can be vulnerable around me...it isn't anything to be ashamed by" She turned to face him and finished tying her hair with a silk ribbon. Another clap of thunder made them both look towards the window "You are most definitely not working in that" But when she saw his heavy breathing, Eliza tilted her head to the side in confusion "Are you scared of the storm?"

He nodded slightly before glancing over at her "I have been since I were a boy" William shook his head and laid back down. Eliza walked back to the bed and playfully straddled his waist "this is highly unexpected..."

"There is nothing to fear...you have me now" William sat up and wrapped his arms around her tightly "There, there, I've got you" She smiled and kissed the top of his head before tilting his chin up "my handsome man"

"handsome is pushing it a little bit, is it not?"

"Well I like your beard, it's adorable"

"My beard?" William moved his hands to her waist and rolled them both over so he was above her. Eliza started laughing as he peppered kisses along her jawline "I'm guessing that you're ticklish then?" He smirked to himself before carrying on with the little kisses.

"no it- no your beard- haha stop Will-"

William tilted his chin up and bit his lip "Now I know how to annoy you senseless" She rested a hand on his chest before smiling "What's this?" he mumbled and traced a small silver line that was alone her forehead.

"my papa...I do not wish to relive the memories"

"I'll let nothing hurt you now, I promise you"

William smiled sweetly before pecking the tip of her nose "Mistress I've asked-" when she saw the worker atop the mistress she quickly looked away "I'm so sorry for disturbing you!" then she left the room in a hurry.

"And that is our secret out" William groaned and looked down at Eliza, who was holding back a laugh "What's so funny darling?"

"It's not even been twenty four hours"

"Well after a half day, we may need to announce our relationship" William lowered his head to the curve of her neck before chuckling "at least I have you"

"what do I tell Arthur?"

William smiled and gently tilted her chin up "can I tell him?"

"may I..."

"Yes, of course you can"

~~~

Arthur laid his head against his mother's shoulder before closing his eyes "Arty...would you be angry if I were to give you a new father?"

"But what about daddy...you won't forget him will you?"

"I won't be able to forget your dad...though I can't hide my feelings for William anymore"

"Will I have a little brother soon" He innocently asked before looking up at her with wide, innocent eyes "Or, or will William be my papa?" he excitedly spoke before smiling brightly.

"Maybe one day Arty, but you'll still be the man of the house, you'll protect me!" She laughed and kissed his forehead "never forget how much I adore you"

Arthur smiled and hugged his mother arm tightly "I'm happy if you are mama!"

~~~

Meanwhile William sieved through his letters to Emily, including one that was half written. He remembered writing it just before he got word that she had gone in labour. He vividly remembered the ride home, but he could never forget the way Emily cried out when she found out her daughter was stillborn. He picked up the bundle of letters and walked over towards the fireplace in the far end of the room. He took the half written one first, screwed it into a ball and threw it into the fire.

As the fire crackled, he read through the letters once again before slowly easing each one into the flames. Though he could not burn one.

My dearest,

I promise that I shall return soon. My campaign has taken me far from you and I cannot word how apologetic I am. I promise that when I return, we'll spend my leave between the sheets and above them. I don't just miss your intimacy, I miss you as a whole. When I return, I will hold you until my heart has fully recovered from being away.

I love you so much my darling...

May our paths cross again

William Tavington.

William looked down at the parchment before tearing in two, then four then eight. He threw the scraps into the fire before looking at the rest of his uniform. In his heart he knew that he needed to tell Eliza his true name and his past. But she'd reject him. He'd tell her soon, he decided in that moment, though now wasn't the best time.

He was lying to himself and to the one he adored...