An insight into what Mariana Cortéz and Thomas Shelby were like before the violence and murder
And how they became so numb to the world around them.
How they came together and fell apart before the war.
And how the Shelby's became the notorious, ru...
"Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory" - Bessel Van Der Kolk
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November •1911• Tommy's POV
The days ran into months Months without any contact From her to anyone She'd slowly cut everyone off Polly was worried sick, she said she looked... broken
Freddie said when he saw her for the last time, she was shaking She was jumping at any sound and she was staring off into space, places where there was nothing
And I knew, we all knew She had slipped into that mindset from when her mum died Except this time... she couldn't run She couldn't wander off, she couldn't drink it away or fight
She was stuck in the same four walls, every single day Inside her own head Forced to endure all the thoughts she had.
I had taken to sitting in our tunnel, drinking away my feelings and fears Staying down there most nights and praying she was alright To a god I didn't even believe in.
I had become desperate.
•
"Tommy?" John spoke up, knocking on the office door "Yeah?" I asked "Can we talk?" He asked "About?" "I uh... I may have a problem" he said.
•
"Again?" Polly shouted "I know, I'm sorry Pol, I've tried talking her out of it but she's already told her dad" John pleaded "I don't need this John! I don't fucking need this!" She shouted, slamming down her teacup and storming out of the room.
One kid was bad enough. Now he'd got her up the swanny a second time. The difference was he was 16 now, and Martha's dad definitely isn't going to let him get away without marrying her this time.
"You're a fucking idiot" I grumbled "Hear hear" Arthur agreed.
December
"She should be here" Polly said sadly, pausing at her place in the kitchen "I know" I said, stopping my own actions for a moment as I thought about her
I hope she was okay.
Mariana's POV
"You need to stay strong my darling, for me" mum said, holding my hand as I lay on the floor I was exhausted, but every door, every bang that resonated jumped me awake I was terrified of him coming back.
Terrified of what he'd do. And I knew deep down mum wasn't real, every time I snapped back into reality she would disappear But I was slowly losing my grip on that.
