AVALON
When I hear Jacob is up, I know I need to go in and apologize to him somehow. I am scared but I dry my tears and I'm confident I can control my emotions. I just didn't know what he was or if he was a threat to me. Now that I know he's not dangerous, my instincts aren't on high alert.
I stand at the doorway and clear my throat, to let them know I'm in the room without being rude.
It's hard to see him, but I sense him tense up. "What's she doing here?!" he asks.
"Avalon it might be best if you wait downstairs," Carlisle murmurs in a gentle voice.
"I just came to a-apologize. I honestly didn't mean to bite you.. Sometimes I can't control my actions. That's no excuse, I know... but I really do hope you'll be okay. And that someday you can come to forgive me," I say, swallowing. I look in Jacob's direction, hoping me understands I'm talking to him and that I really mean what I'm saying.
He clenches his jaw and I can feel him glaring at me, but finally he sighs and relaxes his jaw. "I understand some bloodsuckers can't control their... urges," he snaps. I can feel he doesn't mean it as harsh as it sounds, but he can't forgive me because this is going to kill him. He can't forgive me for leaving Renesme alone without him.
I understand that his intentions are completely selfless. He isn't angry because I attacked or possibly end up killing him. He's angry because by killing him, I've left Renesme alone. I want to say that she's got Edward and Bella, but for some reason, I don't.
I know I would feel the same way if Seth was left alone, without me. I know he has his friends to protect him, but still it's not quite the same.
"Jacob, I don't blame you for being angry. I just hope that someday you can at least forgive me," I murmur. I swallow back a lump in my throat.
"I won't have a 'someday'... half-breed," he hisses. He gets tense again.
"Jacob," Edward murmurs softly. I can feel him reading Jacob's thoughts. He meets Jacob's eyes, trying to get him to be kinder to me.
"It's okay, Edward. I understand," I tell him.
"Is she a danger to Renesme?" Jacob asks, glancing at Edward for only a couple seconds, before I feel his eyes back on me.
"If she was, do you really think I would even let her be in here?" he asks Jacob back.
Jacob nods, but remains silent. Obviously Edward's point was seen.
"Is there anything I can do to help Jacob?" I ask the doctor.
"I think you've done enough," Jacob snaps back.
Carlisle glances at Jacob, but answers me instead. "If I find out anything that you can help with I will let you know Avalon."
I nod, biting my lip. "Um..." I start, unsure of what else to say.
Edward gives me a simpatheic look. He feels sorry for me.
I don't want any pity, Edward, I think. Is Seth okay?
"Avalon I sent him back here to the house hours ago. When I first got back and realized he wasn't here I was alarmed, but I could sense him nearby. He went to La Push to visit with some of his old friends and family," Edward explains out loud.
"Who?" Jacob asks.
"She was wondering about Seth."
"Oh," he murmurs.
"Well I guess I should probably go now..." I start. I turn toward the door.
"Wait," a voice says.
Surprisingly, it's Jacob's.
I stop and wait for him to continue.
"Did you really imprint with him?" he asks.
"Yes, we did," I answer him.
He nods quietly.
"I'll just go back downstairs with Bella now," I tell them. I open the door.
"No!" Jacob yells, a little too quickly and a little too loudly.
"What?" I ask at the same time Carlisle asks "what is it Jacob?"
"Stay up here," he tells me.
"You can't order her around Jacob," Carlisle says.
Jacob's intentions are good. He just is afraid for me to be alone around Renesme.
"It's okay I can stay up here," I say, sensing a chair by the door. I take a seat.
"Now Jacob, I'm going to use the IV to try and flush the venom out of your system. It isn't going to be very pleasant," Carlisle informs.
Jacob nods. "I'm ready."
Carlisle messes with the IV and some kind of a computer or monitor. I can't sense which it is. After a few minutes pass by, I can hear a slight whirling sound, along with smelling as well as hearing the blood pumping through Jacob's veins. He lets out a quiet grunt.
"Carlisle his heart-rate's accelerating too much," Edward murmurs.
"I'm... fine," Jacob says through gritted teeth. He grunts. He leans his head back against the pillow and groans, practically a scream.
"Jacob?" Carlisle asks.
"Keep it...on," he hisses.
"His temperature is too hot, even for him," Carlisle murmurs.
"Don't stop it," Edward says, answering Carlisle's thoughts. "He wants to keep it going," he continues.
"Even if it kills him?" Carlisle murmurs.
"He's in too much pain to answer. The venom burns. The burning had calmed considerably, but with the IV pumping it through his blood to flush it out, the burning is increasing," Edward explains.
I can sense how much pain Jacob is in and before I know it a tear falls from my eye. Guilt hits me so hard I don't breathe.
"Avalon," Edward murmurs.
Emmett moves closer to me.
"I'm fine," I murmur, taking a deep breath.
Jacob's grip on the railing around the bed tightens so hard, it breaks it. He grunts again, this time it's followed by a scream.
"Yes," Edward murmurs, answering Carlisle's thoughts.
I can sense Jacob doesn't want it to stop, despite the agony its putting him through. He hopes this will work... He needs it to for Renesme's sake.
Carlisle puts his hand over the monitor.
"He still doesn't want us to stop it," Edward translates.
"It's killing him Edward," Carlisle murmurs. He doesn't have to say it out loud, but I know he hopes that hearing it said out loud will make Jacob think more rationally.
Jacob lets out another groan and then he passes out.
"Stop it, now!" I hiss at them, standing up out of my chair.
Carlisle touches the monitor and checks Jacob's vitals. "He's still alive... "
What he doesn't finish saying is what we're all terrified of...
For now.
