V E N U S

Baby steps

When I was in the cells, never did I see another human but now today when I stepped out of my home for the first time since being back, the world didn't look right. I thought my eyes were just having some long term symptoms of being in the dark for so long, but no matter how long I waited for my eyes to adjust, the colors never went away.
They stuck to people like glue. Writhing  around them and swirling in multiple hues. Always changing. I couldn't help but notice as I walked past shop fronts that I was the only shadow among them some dark form with nothing inside, no color swirling around me, some void.
All static.

The little dark haired women next to me grabbed my arm "cmon I want to go in that shop next," she advised pointing to a store with a variety of shoes in its window, I nodded following her along the white tiled walkways.

I watched her go to any and every storefront that catered to woman. She didn't buy much of anything though, just commented on how she didn't like this because of this, or those were kinda cute but when would she wear them.

I knew who she was.
I knew why she clung to my arm.
Grinned at me with promise in her eyes.
Asked me for advice on every piece of clothing she tried on.
Why she felt so safe in my presence.

But, knowing wasn't enough anymore.
She was just a woman.

"Are you okay, you seem distant?"she questioned. Concern shining through her eyes.

Am I okay?....I am indifferent

"Did something happen on the trip," she asked eyes large and wavering.
Vibrant blue flashed around her two different shades, her doubts and her loyalty. Essentially the same color but still they found a way to wage their own war.

I never told anyone I was going on a trip, but according to her I had called and told her I had some amazing once in a lifetime internship, and I would be gone for two weeks with little to no internet access.

How Very Convenient.

Regardless she seemed to have her doubts too.

"Is that what you really want to ask me?" I questioned.

"Huh." She took a step back arm retracting from mine.

A murky green yellow slowly spread around her the longer she stared at me the more it pushed the two shades of blue to the outer perimeter, it was Annoyance.

"Did you cheat on me?" The words came out stiff but earnest.

"No," I spoke factually.

You would think relief would've washed over her but that wasn't the case still she responded with "okay."

She didn't reach for my arm again

"I'm ready to go." She stated turning in the direction of the parking lot.
We were halfway to the house when she spoke again.

"I'm sorry she spoke for accusing you, you just didn't seem like yourself today."

Im not myself anymore,

I didn't respond, "so what your ignoring me now?"

"Am I?" It was a genuine question.

"Well Fuck you," she advised.
The moment she pulled up to the apartment she sped out of the car, slamming the door shut.
Angrily stomping towards my apartment door.