It's Bigger Than Basketball

4

         I was sitting at my locker wiping sweat off my face as my Twitter kept pouring in with notifications. I had assumed it was because I had a great game, but it was primarily because of the pictures fans had taken of the encounter with Camila, Shawn, and me. I had a bad feeling in my stomach that Shawn wouldn't let her see me again. I don't think how Shawn acted was the best for her image before an album dropped, but unfortunately, I had to swallow the hard truth. It was none of my fucking business. I threw my phone in frustration, and it bothered me that it was possibly the last time I'd ever see her face again. I groaned when I noticed the screen had cracked. I shouldn't be this caught up over anything besides Basketball. Why was I so invested in trying to be a part of a girl's life who I barely even knew? A girl who was clearly, happily taken. She even has an album named "Romance" dropping soon, and I'm sure it's all about Shawn too. I'm so stupid for allowing myself to lose focus. Kobe would be ashamed.

This isn't the mamba mentality.

"Trust me, setting things up right from the beginning will avoid many tears and heartache." - Kobe Bryant.

I thought I had set up things correctly. So why was I so bothered by this? First, I had to accept she wouldn't be mine. Ever. This was the only way to tune it out. Love and friendships had to be set aside for me to focus on becoming the best. I had to let the idea of her go.And at first, it was hard, but when I didn't hear from her again till her album dropped, she made it easy.

She sent me a link to her album; her only words were "keep balling #7," which was my jersey number. I was not too fond of the feeling from seeing her name light up on my phone. I asked her how'd she be because I'd be lying if I was entirely over the idea of her, but I never got a reply. I should've known better, and yet I heard the album anyways. Her voice was beautiful, but listening to songs knowing they were all about him pissed me off. Track 7 was interesting. I looked up the lyrics and got more confused than I already was. Did Camila want Shawn when she was with someone else, or maybe it was a message to me? I crossed my fingers like a child since she sang she wanted someone else, and the tracking number was the same as my jersey, but I convinced myself I was reading too into it and creating false hope. I never heard any of those songs again because I hadn't heard from her, so I had to stop being pathetic and move on.

It's summer 2021, and I just signed a three-year 20 million contract with the Miami Heat. My dream team. I never sold myself short. I knew I deserved more, but I proved as much as possible, and Miami took notice. I could've gotten more from other teams, but ultimately I decided to keep working at my top destination team and build from here. This was home. I was happy. Everything felt like it was falling into place finally.I hate to admit there were still countless nights I'd lose my mind contemplating contacting Camila again. I tried to stay focused, but I felt like a loser who couldn't get past it on those lonely nights. I couldn't win her over, and I couldn't understand why it still bothered me. I hooked up with many hot women since I last saw her beautiful face in 2019. So, how she still occasionally ran through my mind, blew it every time. How come no one else has that same effect on me? I knew she was from Miami, like me. Maybe that's what relit my desire for her since I kept checking her Twitter for small details like that. I kept creating narratives like we were compatible despite only finding things out online. What if it's all an image she puts on for the rest of the world to see? What if I just wanted the idea of her, not the actual her? It felt like the right time to move on for good, but I eventually returned to our messages.

'I guess you need a Heat jersey now,' I finally send after contemplating for days if I should.

She didn't respond immediately; when she did, she only liked the message. I felt stupid that after almost two years, I'd believe she'd even care or remember who I was. She was still with Shawn. They remade a Christmas song for each other in December for his album that just dropped. Yes, all songs about her. I had to check. I didn't have to do it, and it bothered me that I did. If I could get this girl off my mind for good, I would do it without hesitating, but I couldn't.

Pre-season just started, and I couldn't have been more excited to finally start the new season with a Heat jersey. Finally, I went from a 1.5 million dollar contract to a 20 million dollar one. I couldn't describe the smile I had on my face after purchasing my first apartment nearby the Arena. It was bittersweet. I had a beautiful view of the beach, but instead of enjoying it, I wondered where Cabello was as I watched the waves crash against the shore. I didn't have much furniture, but I got a comfy outdoor sofa, hung lights, and Bluetooth speaker, so I could come out here often. It was my safe space.

I scrolled through Twitter, excited that pre-season started soon as all the fans were going crazy talking about expectations, new signings, and trades. I checked my dm's after a while, and my eyes nearly bulged seeing Camila finally write back again.

"Should I toss this one then?" she asks, sending a photo of her wearing the bull jersey I had given her the last time we saw each other. I smile, feeling excited she had responded despite how long it's been.

"No, don't toss it! I like how it looks on you." I respond after thinking about it for some time.

"Good times," she messages back instantly.

"Maybe I'll come for a game since you're in my hometown now." She teases

"This my hometown too, you know, but I would love that." I tease back

"Oh, is it now?" She asks excitedly

"305 till I die" She types 

"🤣" I reply

"So, will you come for a game?" I ask

"Yes." She sends a few minutes later

"Just don't disappear for two years again."

She liked the message and never responded for the night, leaving me wondering if she would disappear again. I wish I was still in high school. I could use a joint right now. Unfortunately, the coach would kill me if I smoked, and they did a random drug test, so I couldn't afford to risk anything. I think I need a drink.