The Pagan Goddess

Chapter One

13 years later

I lay in the tall grass and stare up at the big, beautiful, blue sky. I close my eyes and breath deeply. The air smells of flowers and the wild. I hear birds chirping in the far distance. The wind blows making my long, red hair tickle my nose. Outside is my happy place. It is where I can be myself and have thoughts to myself. "Freya!" I hear my name called by a familiar voice.

I groaned and stood up making my appearance known. "Come in!" Thyra stands at the doorway of our gates, waving me in. I turn around and take one more look at the beautiful site before me, the sun sets just above the hill our little village. My mind wonders and I long to see my brother and Torsten ride up the hill on their horses. It's been a few years since they have been home and the letters have stopped in the last month or so. Thyra says to have faith, but it is hard when they are the only family I have.

"Freya!" Thyra voice seems impatient now. I sigh loudly and begin to jog back to our village doors.

I see something out of the corner of my eye and I stop trying to make sure of it. Trees blocked a shadow of what looked like a horse with a man of importance sitting on it with large furs over his shoulders. I could not make out the face or details, but I definitely seen something in the trees. I slowly begin to walk towards the figure when Thyra yelled my name again making me jump and look at her. I roll my eyes and quickly glance toward where the figure stood, but whoever was there is gone now.

I start jogging back towards our village before Thyra lost her patience again. When I reached Thyra I noticed she had little Tora attached to her hip. Tora is Thyra and Torsten first born, she is nearing 5 years of age. Tora is definitely Thyra's twin. They look so much alike with long, blonde hair and honey brown eyes. Except Tora's personality is so much of Torsten, very stubborn and a sucker for anything baby or animals. Hard head on the outside, but a total softy on the inside. Where as Thyra can clearly be a bite of a hard arse. Thyra gave me a stern look, "you know you are not supposed to be out there alone."

I roll my eyes and walk past her. I hear the guards order to close the gates while I walk towards our hut. "You cannot be so reckless. These people were nice to let us stay here all these years to keep you safe." Thyra lectures me as we walk into our hut.

"I don't need protection." I state firmly laying down on my furs. Thyra puts Tora down and she wobbles over to lay with me. I cradle her in my arms and kiss the top of her head. "Especially from this place."

"There is nothing wrong here." Thyra claims while steering whatever she's making in the pot with burning stone beneath it.

"This is a convent lead by a Saxon ruler!" I do not keep my voice quiet, hoping someone would hear me.

Thyra shot her head my way and I could tell my behavior was getting on her nerves. "The king of Wessex does not know we are hiding in this convent." She says quietly, "these women took us in out of the kindness of their hearts and they did not have too."

I rolled my eyes as Thyra turned toward me and put her hands on her hips, "all life is precious, Freya." I hear her voice crack making me look up at her. "Your mother taught me that."

Tears begin to form in my eyes at the thought of my mother. I do not remember what happened the night my mother and father went to Valhalla, but Thyra has told me how my mother and father fought with great honor. Thyra tells me stories of them and how my mother and father would treasure everything they killed, including animals to feast on or wear to keep warm during the cold months. They would use every part of the animal for something to help forage a better life for their people. To my father and mother, all life was precious in the living or in Valhalla which is why living a warriors and noble life was the most forgiving in the eyes of the Gods. To kill was the will of the Gods and the future where it only deemed necessary. No life, human or animal, is to be taken with greed.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly as tears fall down my cheeks. A few hitting Tora's blonde hair as she nested her head on my chest, under my chin. She was sound asleep and slightly snoring. "Danes or Saxons, all life is precious. Mother was right."

Thyra smiles gently and leans down to kiss me on my head. "You are strong willed. Just like her."

Later that night, Tora and Thyra are fast asleep in their furs as I lay in mine sleepless. I'm not sure why I cannot sleep, so to get my mind off it, I decide to go for a short walk. I wrap my long, dark robe over my shoulders and put the hood over my head.

Exiting our hut, I notice a few guards posted at the gates and a few at the top watching anything out of order on the outside of the gates. The rest of the village was quiet and with little light. I walk past the guards at the gate and smile. One of the guards smiled back and said, "lady."

The night air was warm with a soft breeze. I could hear the chickens, pigs, and cows moving around in their cages. The horses shifted their weight when I walked by. I must have startled them, "shh, it's me." I whisper patting one of them on the head. They calmed when they noticed me and leaned into my touch.

I soon found myself in the convent prayer room where the nuns pray to their God. It was rather small with small benches turn toward a white cross. The light from the moon was shining through the window behind the cross making the room lightly lit up. I sat right in front of the cross trying to understand their God. Trying to understand any Gods especially after everything I've been through and my family has been through.

"My lady." I hear a women's voice say behind me making me jump, "I'm sorry to startle you, but you seem troubled."

I have seen this women around the convent and have always left like I was destined to know this women. The women has short blonde hair pulled in a knot. Around her neck was a wooden cross and she was wore a grey, simple dress. She is a nun in this convent. Swore her life to her God.

She smiles, sits next to me, and stares at the cross before us. She closes her eyes and bows her head to pray. After a few, she looks at me at the corner of her eye and nudges my leg. "Pray with me." She says closing her eyes again.

"I cannot." I sternly say, standing. A little taken back she would ask me to pray to a God I do not believe in.

The women continues to pray for what felt like an eternity. After she was done, she does the holy sign across her body and breathes deeply. Her eyes were gentle as she looked up to me. "I understand. What troubles you then, my lady?"

I stand there staring back at this women and felt compelled to confide in her. I slowly sit back down and she places her hand on mine, "why do people die?" I ask slowly unsure of myself.

She sighs deeply, "well, people die because it is their time. God calls them home."

"Home?"

"Heaven. Peace."

"Is all life precious in the eyes of your God?"

"Well, of course. Our God loves all his children, all life." She answered, emphasizing the words 'our God.'

I stop to think and look to the cross. Maybe our Gods are not much different. "Our God is always there. He listens, always." She says sensing my emotion. "You just have to be willing to hear Him."

A soft grin appears on my face as I look to her. "Thank you." I whisper with tears threatening to fall.

She smiles and wipes away a tear that slowly fell on my cheek. "What do I call you?" I ask as she stand up to leave.

"Hilda." She smiles, "it was nice speaking with you lady Freya." She bows her head and makes her exit.

I turn my head back to the cross and stare. The moon light hit the cross just right making it actually kind of beautiful. I begin to think that maybe the Danes Gods and the Saxon God are not that much off from each other. Dane or Saxon, ultimately, we want peace between lands and to be treated as equals. I believe there are bad on both sides and greed on each side, but I believe that was the Gods or God intention for humans to make sacrifices to serve Him or Them and try to do good in this world. I believe that whatever God you believe in has reasons for everything and our time on this world is temporary before the ultimate peace in Valhalla or Heaven.

I vow that there will be peace among the Danes and Saxons. I, Freya Eriksendóttir, will be that peace no matter the cost.