Random Bursts of Emotions

Lost

I lost a lot as time passes by. But nothing was gained. Just more feelings I wish didn't exist. I don't know what else can I lose. I already managed to lose the most important thing to me. Something that I should have held close to my heart. Myself.

Who am I? A vile-hearted bitch or a soft-hearted sensitive crybaby? Which is my true self? Did I lie so much that it can manipulate, dictate and manifest my mind and soul? Is that it? Is that the reason why I thought the worst decision was for the best? Did it made me blind towards my own feelings and desires?

I lied so much about my own past, I forgot the real one.

I got so obsessed with what I crave and yearn for in my life. Equality. I got so infatuated with it, I lost myself in the midst of fighting for it. I lost my dignity, ruined my reputation, tainted my story of life, just to strive and achieve equality.

Is there... anything else I can afford to lose?

Perhaps... My life?

I don't deserve to live.

I'll lose my life.