Dear Baby Bear

"SUMMER"

Dear Baby Bear;

Hello my Baby Bear. I know I shouldn't be writing to you anymore but I just can't help it. Your Baby Panda misses you very much and no matter what I do, I am only reminded of you. Today is the start of the summer and my friends kept asking me to come with them on the outing that they're planning. I refused to go with them though. I just don't feel like going out just yet, especially now that you're not here to accompany me. You know that I feel uncomfortable when I'm with a lot of people. I guess that's why I rarely leave the house alone. But I guess it makes my friends worry because according to them, staying at home all the time is bad for me. They also said that I won't be able to move on from you if I don't go out and enjoy life. They're not wrong though, being cooped up in this house everyday only reminds me of you and it just keeps hurting me.

I don't know if you remember but it was also summer when we first met. You were playing volleyball with your friends while I was sitting under a big umbrella, reading a book. The ball hit me and I was furious. You then came to apologize and retrieve the ball. You were very hot back then and I thought I was going to faint. My anger faded as soon as I saw you but I had to act mad because I didn't want you to know that was attracted to you. From then on, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Maybe it was love at first sight, yeah I know it's cringey. You then approached me again after your game which surprised me. And you know what, I still have no idea why you approached me first. I was a big nerd back then and I never bothered to make myself pretty. But still, you talked to me and I'm glad you did because that's how we started to get to know each other. That was the second best summer I had. The first best summer was last year when you took me to your family's rest house and we stayed there for 3 days. We had the whole place to ourselves and I had so much fun doing almost everything with you.

Summer really feels different without you. It's been 6 months since you left me and I miss you more each passing day. We should have been planning our summer together while we cuddle and pick each other's outfit to wear. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss arguing with you about what to watch, what to eat, and where to go when we go on dates. I really want you back and I would do anything just to have you back. But I know that you're never coming back to me. You're really unfair, you know that? You didn't even give me a heads up before you left. No goodbyes, no explanations, no signs or clues, NOTHING. It's like I just woke up from a beautiful dream. It hurts to remember. It hurts so bad that I sometimes wish that I wouldn't wake up from that dream. Because in that dream, I can hold you and I can be with you.