Dear Baby Bear

"MELON SCENT PERFUME"

Dear Baby Bear;

I didn't mean to drown myself with work. Its just that I took too many sick leaves that my work piled up and now, I have too many deadlines to meet. It's fine though; at least I can distract myself and actually focus on reality. But there are still times when I think of you unconsciously like right now. I am currently in the office because my boss demanded that I work here and not at home so he could supervise me. I don't know if he's concerned about me or my work. But as far as I know, my outputs have never disappointed the clients. So I guess he's worried about me? He just looks strict and the kind of boss that would overwork you, but he's actually a softy and a good boss. Now I feel bad for badmouthing him to you.

Who would have thought that loosing you my baby bear would make me realize and appreciate a lot of things?

You must be curious why I'm writing to you when I should be working. Well, something strange and humiliating happened I thought I saw you when I passed by the coffee shop near our office building. Not just saw actually, I smelled you. It's weird because although I know it's impossible, I still followed the stranger inside the coffee shop thinking it was you. I don't know what I was thinking, but I actually called him baby bear and tapped his shoulder. And when he turned around, I was so disappointed to see that it was not you. Turns out, he was only wearing a melon scent perfume similar to what you wear and you're way better looking. I don't know what I expected to be that disappointed. I mean, I know that you're not coming back and yet I kept hoping that I will see you again.

I'm so pathetic and desperate. I mean, who in their right mind would follow a stranger just to see if he's the person you're longing for knowing that the person you want to see is long gone. I should really stop thinking of you and start accepting the truth. I don't know how or if I can even do it though. My life revolved around you and I got so used to having you by my side all the time. I want to cry so badly, but I can't. I don't want my colleagues to think that I'm being dramatic again or I'm acting up just so I could go home early.

I hate you Baby Bear. Your Baby Panda hates you so much that I don't know what to do anymore. I was the one who fell first and I was also the one who fell the hardest. You were my home, my best friend, my comfort, and my soulmate. But in a snap of a finger I lost my everything and now, I have to live without you just because you didn't trust me enough and you were too scared to hurt me with the truth. Youre such a coward and I hate you for that. I wish you were here to see how much Im suffering because of you. To make you realize that lying to me was the worst decision you've ever made and that I am not as weak as you thought I was

On second thought, never mind. It would only hurt me more if you were here and I would see you getting hurt too. Just promise me to stay happy wherever you are, I can be satisfied with that. Your happiness comes first and these feelings will eventually fade overtime.