FALLING HARD✅

FALLING HARD 21

Trevor's point of view

We sat across from each other near the counter. Mary insists that she stay so that I tell her the whole truth.

"Go on am listening, for once be honest with me, don't just get me in as an asset-"I grab her hands and pull her between my legs. I could feel Mary's eyes on us but I didn't care if Mary thought her matchmaking is kind of twisting me inside out.

"Look at me, I didn't lie to you Jessica, I never did, I just never tell you everything."

"So talk, am listening," She removed her hands and fold her arms. With every power invested in me, I refuse to her pull her back, for how long am I going to refuse to kiss her?

For as long as it takes, because you don't deserve her, look how innocent she is compared to you

"I got a girl pregnant when I was eighteenth, or so I thought I did anyway, I was the happiest boy alive."

"You don't leave out the part where you started dating her since you were sixteen and I was meanwhile dealing with you, you were also robbing banks and you didn't even need the money," said Mary willing,  spitefully, rubbing me out.

I closed my eyes for a moment and reopen them.

"I was searching for myself, I was lost I wanted to be a part of something bigger so I created a mob, I joined a gang and grew up in gangs, doing all the bad things you could think of and it was fun."

"Fun for you."

"Mary, would you shut up and let me explain before I changed my mind?"I swallowed, calming my anger.

" None of you know what's it like to, feel lost, that lost, you don't know what you want, yet you want everything!"
I grab a bottle of whiskey from the shelf and removing the cork I knew I was going to drink it all. Just get away from the feelings.

"I cared for that baby, before it was even born, when it came finally, I saw how blue the eyes were and I was excited. I should have known it was just some weird family genes. Just to find out the next day that the baby wasn't mine, it was Kevin's Own. The girlfriend cheated with him, they leave the baby abandoned in the hospital."

I remember it like yesterday it was. How I felt when the crying of the baby reached my ears.How betrayal was replaced by instant wanting to care for it. I looked into the mouth of the bottle and it was like all the events were swimming in there.

"Documents, we're signed, I did a DNA test that proved that I was a part of the baby's family.I got permission to get him home.No one will understand how everything was going easy until I learned that Kevin wanted the child back. Everything fell apart, nothing matters, all the anger that I thought died, comes rushing back to the surface, its like gall. I could taste it and that was when I became the Mafia."

"Drinking and getting drunk wasn't helping, I couldn't trust anyone, not even my sister, I fuck up everything that stands in my way that's what helps,"I looked up and all the feelings came rushing back I put the bottle down and run out from there.

Weak as a flying feather, I swallowed the ache in my chest. Hot tears entered my eyes and I willed them back. I blink until they vanish. Hands on my knees gasping for air.

I refuse to cry

I entered Rollins's room and I saw him sleeping.

" My boy," I whispered, Lying next to him, I grab him on my chest and I could feel the tears coming again.

"No, I will not let you go, not after six years of holding on to you," I knew love exists when I held him in my arms for the first time, when I thought he was my son, when he looks up at me with those blue eyes, that feeling never changed. It still strikes me whenever I look at him. Such powerful attraction can never be explained.

Not until you met Jessica

"I'll help you if you allow me to," A soft voice said, she was standing next to the bedside; over me.

Thinking of the devil

"I didn't see you come in here."

"I know, am so sorry."

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what? show sympathy for someone who obviously needs It."

"I don't need it," I got up in a rush, almost throwing Rollins off my shoulders, but she sat next to me and held me down with her hand.

"Crying doesn't make someone weak, it means you've been strong for too long," I paused in midair and then lay my head down. I looked up at her and I'd never spoken to angel before.

But now am sure one just spoke to me

"I've seen you weak before, so you don't have to hide around me."

"That was just a weak moment of weakness, my weakness barely shows."

"Maybe you should start focusing on showing your care as much as you show your anger, at least to Mary, she should get that from you, she is not a random girl who is going to betray you, she is not Kevin and she has proof that."

Jessica's point of view

I pat him on the shoulder and without waiting for a response I leave the room.

I saw how weak he was, his heart was torn to threads by the ones he loved. On top of it all, he was already lost before. He became bitter and all that anger swelled into something big, he enjoyed it.

Because he is afraid to care, afraid to trust when he cares he is afraid to be it.

"I've never seen him so delicate with anybody before until he met you, yes,yes he was delicate with his ex but not like this. I think it's more than that, if you noticed he is good on the eyes he could get any girl he wants, I think he craves you."
Mary had said when Trevor ran from the room.

"Are you telling me that you have a vampire for a brother?"I had asked hoping that would escape what she was telling me.

"I'm serious, look I don't know what's going on between you too, except denial but I hope it last, I haven't heard deaths report about him yet and when he flips he kills people, and he doesn't care. Mostly bad guys, but it's still killing. You are the only one that I believe can prevent him from going down that road before I start to think my brother is mentally ill which he is not, he is Just one of the worst Mafia I 've ever met."

"What am I going to do?"

"You are going to continue doing whatever you are doing."

"But am not doing anything."

"Well go and talk to him." She had said and shoved me slightly in the back.

I step towards the hall, and to the window to get a breeze. I couldn't really concentrate on what was going on because Trevor was forever on my mind.In fact, it was getting so bad, that I often went off into long spells just thinking about him, coming back to reality with a start.

Despite all the peps talk I had given myself, all the questions I had asked myself, none helps,  because I had done the unthinkable.

Am falling hard head over heels with a man I hardly know but feel like I have known for a while.

"Can I join you?" I twist around and stare at him, he was wearing a black Marina and jeans pants.

"Mmhm," He walks up to me and I could see, hot extra hot he looks close up. His muscles tempted my fingers. Flexing his hands he stood before me and I look up at him.

"Look, I know this is going to sound weird, but I need your help."

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