DayDream [A Sope/Yoonseok Fanfiction]

Chapter Nine: Friends?

I hope I'm on a roll 😎. It better be seeded.

Update since writing the above: I actually am in a state of depression and writer's block. Since I'm a perfectionist it's taken me ages to publish this. 

//Mature//

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Yoongi looked at Hoseok in horror, his jaw slack, his lips quivering at the thought of his best friend having heard every drop of information within his conversation with Namjoon. Although an aspect of his brain silently rejoiced in the realisation that he did not need to admit everything to Hoseok's face, the major part of his sanity was screaming in terror. Silently, of course. 

"I-I-" His voice trembled. "I-" But, at the sight of Hoseok's smiling face, Yoongi's words seemed simply to crumble. How did that make sense? He had been horrible to the younger. He'd consented to a mutual initiation of sexual intimacy... multiple times must he add... and then, at the hint of even anything slightly leaning towards the idea of emotions, he'd projected his self-anger onto his bright ball of sunshine. The words he'd yelled only half an hour ago rang out sharply across his ears.

"I'd better head back and check on Jin." Namjoon gathered himself to his feet, opening up the small, intimate space for Hoseok to place himself into and awkwardly clambering over Yoongi's legs. The stunned rapper managed to crack a small smile, still far too unused to hearing Namjoon speak so informally about their oldest member. 

"Yoongs-"

"Yell at me goddamn you." Yoongi begged, hugging his knees tightly. "Why won't you yell?" He could not help his wavering voice from cracking. "I hurt you, I ignored you - why won't you scream at me? Tell me you never want to see me again? Why won't you?!" The scream trailed off, echoing around the bathroom. Hoseok did not speak again until the ringing cry had grown silent. 

"Because I understand." 

The words drifted into Yoongi's hearing, but it was a good few seconds before his brain quite processed what his companion had said. "That doesn't mean it didn't hurt me, because it did. But I understand." 

The older wanted to huff in disbelief and scream. But instead, he stared, his jaw hung open in shock. When had Hobi become so mature? It made his insides churn, but Yoongi was not quite sure whether it was with nerves or excitement. He had expected a meltdown, or at the very least, some form of screech about how he'd betrayed his best friend.

"I know what you want Yoongi. And ..." Hoseok sighed, "After this, I'm not sure either of us are quite ready for such a commitment." Each word stung like a hornet's sting, viciously plummeting into Yoongi's heart, shattering his lungs to pieces. He gulped. Did that mean-?  He daren't say it in case it prompted Hoseok to worsen the psychological blow. 

"I... think we should just try and go back to being friends." 

Min Yoongi couldn't help himself but let out a ragged sigh of despair, too low in energy to quite think about the consequences of externally expressing his disappointment. To his surprise however, his younger companion seemed in quite the same saddened state. But if Hoseok wasn't interested in their sexual antics anymore, it wasn't Yoongi's right to press him and disagree. If there was one thing Agust D insisted he got right, it was consent. 

"Just friends?" Yoongi held out a shaking hand, trying his best to force a small smile to creep onto the edge of his lip. It teetered for a moment, trembling in the corner of his mouth before he jammed his jaw tightly shut again, for fear of producing a very blatantly false gummy smile. He was not quite sure if he could go back to just being 'friends' - the two of them, in the past six months, had pretty much surpassed the majority of boundaries that lay between platonic and sexual partners. Now, his journey to Hoseok's heart seemed to be very much backtracking along a slightly more depressing route.