DayDream [A Sope/Yoonseok Fanfiction]

Chapter Fifteen: Je t'aime

"I love you."

In honesty, Yoongi had expected the air to thin around him, the world getting increasingly claustrophobic, his body trembling as his body temperature increased. He'd expected to stumble, his legs turning to mush while his brain screamed at him to escape the situation. Over the past few weeks he had played every possible outcome of hearing Hoseok's confession in his head over and over, thousands of times and every time it was this outcome that seemed the most plausible.

In reality, he did none of that. Instead, he took one look towards his best friend and promptly burst into tears. 

"St-stop playing with my feelings...I-" Yoongi wiped his eyes frantically, but the streams continued, "Why did you tell me we should just be friends- why agree to just sex, I don't understand-And now you tell me this-!?" He was very confused.

"Because your denial and outrage were making me so, so fucking scared and I couldn't bare to watch you have panic attack after panic attack just because I wanted to pursue my feelings... you seemed to want to repress your emotions so I tried my best to adhere to your wishes because I thought that would be for the best and I couldn't bare to see you struggle...but I kept failing and failing because I... 

I am addicted to you Min Yoongi. And it's not just that I am addicted to our sex, our lust - I am addicted to all of you, your brain, your heart... everything. I am irrevocably in love with you." 

The older rapper couldn't move. His legs seemed fixed in place, his feet jammed tightly to the ground no matter how desperate he was to escape. He knew Hoseok's response made sense - he knew the two of them had been subject to each other's shy, confused push and pull and he knew what would be the best solution for both of them. But no matter how much Min Yoongi wanted to pursue that... there was something stopping him still. 

"I-" His voice came out in a hoarse whisper, "I'm scared of ruining everything." As if that confession had flicked a switch, his words came tumbling out in a panicked confession, "I support Jimin and Kook because I thought - at the time - they would be the only couple, and let's face it: a BTS without those two being together would not be the same as the BTS that is displayed to Army now. For Namjoon and Jin... I grew concerned we would get revealed but I couldn't say no to their love and then... when it came to us...?" he paused, taking a deep breath. 

"Hoseok, we are surrounded by hundreds of staff every day.  If even one of them was unloyal, and they caught wind of three internal relationships, BTS would be over. I thought that if I... if I tried to suppress my feelings and force myself to see us as predominantly platonic, even during sex... then I'd convince myself that we were only that and my..." he stuttered to a stop, his throat growing tighter at every attempt to force the confession through his quivering lips. 

Jung Hoseok's heart fluttered. Was he about to say what he thought-? But there was no way to truly know unless Yoongi won the battle within his conflicted mind. And right now, it didn't seem like he could. 

The younger slowly stepped forward, keeping his eyes directly trained on his best friend. "...I think I know a way to help you say it... if you want." Hobi could feel the blood pulsing through his head as his lips vocalised the words he'd wished to say for so long. 

He was met with wide eyes and a recognisable flutter of nerves across Yoongi's face. The older gulped, his hands twisted into awkward fists that clenched and unclenched with each thought that raced though his mind. After a moment of standing in silence, he very slowly nodded. 

Reaching up a hand around the back of Yoongi's neck, Hoseok realised he was trembling. It was as if they had never touched one another before, despite being intimate for the past six months. As if this was the confession they should have experienced, rather than the night in the shower. 

Leaning his head forward, constantly checking the older was alright, a smile graced the younger's face at the gentle grasp of his shirt front. Yoongi's eyes were already closed, his lips twitching as he felt his soulmate drift closer. 

"Yoongi-" Hoseok whispered. SUGA's eyes cracked open in confusion, "If we do this... we won't be just friends anymore... do you understand what I mean?" 

"Yes. I understand." Yoongi could barely emit the final syllable from his throat before a pair of lips placed themselves upon his. Stunned at their own actions, the two initially stood there, still and unmoving, growing accustomed to the feeling. Until Yoongi suddenly lurched forward, throwing his arms around Hoseok's neck and prompting the pair to engage in a deep, yearning kiss. 

***

Kim Namjoon couldn't sleep. Since Yoongi's previous panic attack, he'd felt more and more guilty about telling Seokjin. He knew it had been the right thing to do, and he knew his boyfriend would not admit to knowing anything unless absolutely necessary. But it scared the leader of BTS that Yoongi might enact something even worse if he found out his hyung was already aware of the situation. 

However liberal their management was, Namjoon knew they would be extremely concerned for the secrets BTS were racking up. Having allowed Jimin and Jungkook to be a little more open among KIdols had been a risky move and any number of events could have seen their downfall, to the extent that, they hadn't even discussed what Joon and Jin wanted to do and how much they were allowed to express. 

He looked up from the dining table as the front door creaked open. To his surprise, it was the very pair he was most worried about. 

"Where have you two been? You've completely missed curfew." But the leader wasn't scolding them, it was more an observation of the time. His eyes raked over the pair, taking into account their physical closeness and timid gazes to try and assess what might have been the reason for a midnight stroll. 

Hoseok cleared his throat, knowing very well that Namjoon likely could see right through his lies, "We um... just went for a walk." Yoongi nodded quickly in agreement. 

"Ah..." Their friend let a smile creep onto his face, and he huffed, "And it happened to be so cold that your lips swelled up?" The smile became a giggle as the pair grew sheepish. "I'm glad to see. Go get some rest, we have a long day tomorrow." 

He recieved a mixture of 'yes Namjoon' and 'goodnight Joonie' before the two scampered off in the same direction. Despite the leader knowing perfectly well, that each of their bedrooms were on opposite sides of the corridor. With that in mind, a moment later, Yoongi came shuffling back into the room.

"Joonie..." he pouted tiredly, "Can you-"

"Can I get Jin to sleep in my room so you can cuddle your boyfriend?" Namjoon was met with a fast nod... and no denial of what the leader had called Hoseok. 

He shuffled off his chair and smirked at Yoongi, "You owe me."

"I'll pay for your snacks tomorrow." 

"Deal... give me 2 minutes to move the zombie." 

***

I'm sorry for the wait, I know its frustrating. I'm becoming really unmotivated for this book, but I'm still desperately trying to write it well and finish it for those of you who really like it. 

Misty x