THE PSO (Phone Sex Operator)

Save Yourself First

Nate leads me into the club bathrooms after getting the keys from the cleaner. Police business, he told them. The cleaner didn’t even question it, though he did shoot me a curious look. Most likely wondering what the fuck I’d done.

Once the men’s loo was cleared of people, Nate locks the door. I glance around. Four urinals stood against the wall opposite two cubicles. Built in sinks sat on top of a black counter, lining the wall just below a large mirror and stopping abruptly by the door. The black floor sparkled, the lights from the ceiling reflecting against the glitter. It was very clean.

I wondered how many dudes Zach had banged in here.

“This why you’ve been dodging my calls for two weeks? Too busy rubbing up against other guys?” Nate’s voice is surprisingly calm and collected.

It gives me the courage to turn and face him, my back to the counter. I give him a twisted smile. “How’s your wife, Nate? And your baby? No, actually, don’t answer that because I don’t want to know.”

“So that’s what this is about. You’re jealous ‘cause you think I picked my wife and thought the best way to get back at me was to revenge fuck some random guy.” He steps towards me. “Or guys. Is it multiple, Sarah? Just how many people you been letting inside of you?” he stops an arms length from me, his face not giving anything away but I could hear the anger seeping into his voice.

None yet I think but don’t say. Instead, I go with, “I don’t see how that’s your business.”

“I’m making it my business.” He leaves no room argument.

My nostrils flare and I step forward, my finger prodding his chest as I point at him. “You have no rights to me, Nate. You gave me no choice but to walk away. I wanted to make this work and I gave you so many chances but you wanted to pick her. You know what I think? I think you love her so much you’re looking for any excuse to stay. Loads of kids grow up in broken homes, I was one of them, at least that baby would still have you in its life even if you left her. But you won’t leave her, will you, Nate? You’re still together right now, aren’t you?” My hand finds his left one and I hold it up to show him the wedding band. To prove my point.

Only it was no longer there. I stare at his naked finger.

Welp.

That was embarrassing.

“Oh.” I let go of him, only for him to capture my digits with his.

His eyes flicker with amusement.

“We’re getting divorced,” he says needlessly. “I booked a private scan; we’ve got it next week to find out if the kid is mine. Either way, we won’t be together but if I’m the father I still want to be apart of its life.”

“What changed your mind?” I struggle to take all of this in.

“You did,” he says as if it should be obvious. “Since I met you...it’s always been you, Sarah,” he admits. “My parents divorced when I was a kid and they went about it in the most toxic way possible. Me and my brother were used as weapons and I didn’t want that life for my kid. That’s why I wanted to stay at first but...I’ve come to my senses.”

“Who says I even want you anymore.”

I did. I really did. But I didn’t want to make this easy on him.

“Your eyes give you away. The way you look at me.” His hand finds my cheek and he cups it. I can’t help but lean into him. “But there’s a few things you should know.”

There’s always a but.

I sigh. “Go on.”

“My ex wife...she was the one who broke into your house and wrote that message.”