Oneshots and shit

Would You Be Mad?

Based on real life and shower thoughts. Just more vent writing. I can't tell if the characters were used here but y'know what, fuck it, no one reads this.

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"You're quiet today, what's up?" My mother spoke.

"Nothin'" I shrugged, and It's truly nothing, it's the morning and I'm just tired.

"Okay" She smiled and walked off. I simply played with my cocoa pops.

---

"Are you okay?" My stepdad walked in. He grabbed the aftersun and looked up briefly, before using it.

"Yeah." And its just that I'm just not in a social mood? I tried being outside but I don't want to be.

"Okay, just checking." He walked outside, leaving me in the living room again.
---

"Your alright darlin'?" My uncle sat in front of me.

"Yeah." I spoke. Something is off, but what, I'm not too sure.

"Cool."

"It's just one of those days where nothing feels too real." The truth.

"Alright. As long as you're okay."

I nodded. He left.
---

"you okay?" My grandma walked in, she spotted me and asked, before turning and making herself some food.

"Yeah." Not really. But I watched as she built her sandwich, and lied to the back of her head.

"that's good." Yeah, it would be.

I watched her add more to her plate, and spoke again.

"I'm sorry for being antisocial." Really, I want to be out there. But the feeling of suncream on my legs and everything sticking to me is driving me insane. At least its cool here.

"Don't worry about it darling. You do what you need to do. If you need space, give yourself space." I pause.

She understands?
She's not mad?
I can't help but feel a wave of emotion hit me. Suddenly I want to cry. I control my tears and hold back my sadness as she continues to talk.

As she left to go outside again relief washes over me too. My paranoia dies down and any thought of my parents talking about my lack of presence wavers.

Hours pass, and my presence remains separate.

But now we're going out for dinner.

I got changed, selecting my sun sleeves and matching them to my outfit.

It doesn't feel right.

My sister says it's okay.

I don't feel okay.

But I go downstairs regardless. I'm sat with her. She seems happy.

After a few minutes, more people fill the room.

I sit in the same place I've been all day.

"So what's with the sleeves?" My stepdad questions.

Shit.

"They're sun sleeves, I guess they keep you cool in the heat or something." My mother stepped in. I'm glad she gets it.

"Ah okay." he accepted it. Thank you mum. "Unless you just have some bad tattoos you're covering up."

My mum rolls her eyes, I just smile and give a breath of a laugh in return, shaking my head lightly.

"That or you're secretly self harming, Roll up your sleeves, let's have a look." I laugh lightly again, this time giving no response. If I say no it'd be a lie. But I can't say yes.