Before I could Realize / Sanctuary

Chapter 4 | Safe

I and Oskar sit on a blanket on the wooden floor while leaning on my bed. He places down the basket and takes out cheese, bread, water, and cut-up apples covered with honey. I place my head on his shoulder. He smells like fresh flowers.

"How have you been, Angel?" Oskar asked me. "I'm doing alright," I answered. "That's good," He said. He cut me a piece of bread and cheese and fed me. He put his head on my head as he sifted through my short blonde hair. "You know, Angel, I worry about you a lot." He says. "Whenever you're having your manic episodes, I just feel so helpless." I look up to Oskar; he looks down at me. I see his sapphire eyes start tearing up. I smile and wipe his tears off his face. "You don't have to worry about me, Oskar. I'll be just fine as long as you stay by my side." I answer truthfully.

He smiled; I love when he smiles. His smile is just so freaking beautiful. He goes back to resting his head on my head and continues to rub the side of my face and hold my hand. I feel so comfortable and safe around him. I felt like I could fall asleep once more.

"I know you can do it and I can help however you need." He suddenly said. I looked up at him and sweetly smiled. "Thank you, Oskar." "Of course,"

I go to the study room and sit on the couch. I put my knees up to my chin and wrap my arms around my legs. I hope Oskar will be okay. I don't want him to join in on the war. Ever since Russia invaded Ukraine, the attacks have just been getting closer and closer to Norway. Some kids in class have even been referring to me as "terrorist" and "murderer" because of my ethnicity. I feel very insecure. Is it bad being half Russian?

I hear a knock on the door. "Angelica?" I hear someone say my name through the door. The voice is muffled, I can't comprehend who it might be. I walk up to the door when I hear loud whispers behind me.

"Don't open the door, something bad will happen."
"Don't do it."
"I'm watching you, Angelica."
"They're coming for you."

I tense up and start gritting my teeth a bit. I slowly turned to look behind me; there was no one. What is this? It couldn't be mother, she's still asleep. It couldn't be Oskar, he went to go get his things just now. The person on the other side of the door knocks one more time. I stay still and quiet until it stops. I sigh out in relief as the anxiety passes away.

"Are you okay, Angel?" Oskar suddenly says causing me to curse in fear. "Oskar! You scared me!" I said to him. "..I did? I'm sorry." He apologized in confusion. "...Erm, I'm not sure. Well whatever it was, I'm fine now." I said while trying to re-catch my faint breath. He held me by my arms. "Are you sure? Did anything happen while I was gone?" He asked persistently. I looked down and huffed out a big sigh. "I'm not really sure, it was weird. Someone knocked on the door, or so I think. So while I was about to twist the knob, I heard someone behind me telling me not to open the door; there was no one behind me. And then you spoke out of nowhere which absolutely startled me." I explained. "...I see. Did you take your medication yet?" I gave him a confused look. "What medication?" I asked. "This," He pulled out a small orange bottle. Inside, there were only a few pills left.

"It's for your condition, remember?" He asked. "I saw that it was almost empty so I thought I would go to the pharmacy and get some more for you." I don't actually remember anything but I still went along with what he was saying to me. "Of course," I nodded. He handed me the bottle as he went to go fill up a glass of water. I squeezed the top of the container and it popped off. Oskar came back. I put one pill into my mouth as then Oskar tilted my head and allowed me to drink water.

"Thank you, Oskar. I appreciate it." "Anything," He placed down the cup on the table. He then looked back up at me with those same dark blue dainty eyes. Was he doing this on purpose? For some reason, my stomach felt so fluttery. I couldn't help but just smile at him. I couldn't believe that I had this adorable boy all to myself. He smiled back at me. My heart felt like it could literally burst at any second. He was definitely doing this on purpose.

He suddenly started to laugh a little bit. Was something funny? "You look so beautiful when you look at me like that." What? I could feel the heat creeping from up under my skin. "What?" I asked him even though I knew exactly what he had just said. He stopped laughing and just smiled. "It's nothing." He said. This boy! I chewed at my inner cheek.

"Well, I'll get going now. I'm sure I've over stayed my stay. And plus, I don't think your mom would like seeing a boy in your room." He said. I laughed. "It's quite alright, Oskar. Quit worrying about those small things." He slid on his winter coat and I buttoned up the buttons. "You can come by anytime as you'd like. I'm sure mother would love seeing you." I offered. "I'll come again. Next time, I'll bring her flowers and then she'll absolutely fawn over me." Oskar smiled determinedly. "Yeah, yeah." I sarcastically nodded along.

I looked outside the window. It still early in the morning yet the snow was pouring down heavy and fresh. But as much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't keep Oskar here forever. "It's still snowing pretty hard. Be safe out there. Alright, city boy?" "Of course, gorgeous." He replied.

He pulled me in and kissed my forehead. He then held me by the hands tightly. I grasped on tighter as well. It was if he was saying to me he didn't want to leave either. He finally let go and waved me goodbye. The door shut with the heavy thud.

I sigh. I really do hope Oskar will be okay out there.