The Demon in the Doll

Chapter 2

My buddies came over at 7 p.m., and I took them to the garage. Donald was a skinny kid with pale skin and dark hair. I guess he was my best friend. We did a lot of stuff together. For instance, we were always going fishing in the bayou behind my house. We even killed snakes and threw empty beer cans at alligators from time to time. Trust me. It's not as dangerous as it sounds.

The weird thing about gators is that they make angry cat noises when they get pissed. One more interesting fact. When they're in the water, you can only see their heads. What I often tried to do was plunk empty beer cans off the top of their skulls in order to get an angry reaction. I never felt threatened by the wildlife. For example, I've never been chased by an alligator in my entire life. True. They've hissed at me a couple of times. But that's the extent of it.

The other guy's name was Horace. He was a short kid who was fat and weak. Like me, he was struggling with pretty bad acne. Lots of people picked on him. With that said, he often had it coming. He simply didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. Horace was one of those types who thought he was funny. And funny people sometimes get punched in the mouth. Nobody wants to be the butt of a joke.

June had a freezer in the garage. That was where she kept her beer. Her favorite brand was Pabst Blue Ribbon. The professor got drunk every day, so the freezer was filled to the brim. I used to steal from her stash all the time. She never seemed to notice.

I looked at my friends. "Do you retards want a can of suds?"

Donald said, "Damn straight."

Horace said, "I ain't gonna say no."

We popped the brews open. Then we walked into the backyard and started a campfire. I used to do this all the time. There was something about the flames and the heat which excited me. I loved it so much that I'm surprised I never burnt the house to the ground. We sat in folding chairs and drank our alcohol.

Horace said, "School starts Monday."

Donald said, "Where does all the time go? I can't believe that summer vacation is already over."

"This year is going to completely suck." Horace burped loudly. "I'm tired of getting my ass kicked all the time. And I've got three fucking years left. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it."

I said, "You'll make it. You just need to learn how to shut the fuck up."

"Do you think I'll at least get laid?"

Donald lit a cigarette. "You're not gonna get any pussy. But don't feel bad. We aren't getting any pussy, either. We're the saddest motherfuckers in the entire school. That's why we hang out with each other. We're like the Three Musketeers...if the Three Musketeers had happened to be a bunch of losers."

Horace said, "Speak for yourself, you fucking douchebag. I'm not a sad sack. I've got stuff going for me."

Donald smirked. "Like what?"

"I know how to compromise. I'm giving up on cute girls. Instead, I'm scoping out the fat pigs like me. Birds of a feather and all that bullshit."

Donald nodded. "That's actually smart thinking. Maybe I should lower my expectations, too. It would certainly improve both our chances."

I decided to pipe in with my opinion. "I actually feel that our days of being losers are coming to an end. This year is going to be different."

They both looked at me and laughed uproariously.

Donald said, "Did you fall down the stairs and hit your head?"

Horace said, "Did you learn this bullshit from a fortune teller? How much did she charge you?"