Living a normal life was now impossible to Lily after being kidnapped by the tatters. She was stolen off of the boat that was supposed to take her to England to study from the White Sea after visiting her family that lived in Egypt because of her fa...
"Will you attend the farewell ceremony, Sultanim?" Rosie asked. I sighed and looked away from the burning fire in front of me. The dark circles under my eyes haven't left since my son was born dead.
"No, send the children only" I answered. I turned around and watched the fire. I couldn't watch Suleiman leave too. I said enough farewells for a lifetime. I pushed down the lump in my throat as images of my son's dead body floated in my head. He didn't even get to see my face, his mother's.
"As you wish" Rosie bowed and left the room. Once again I was all alone in my room. The pain I was feeling I shared with Hatice and Gülfem only, Mahidevran had one miscarriage and thought she could relate to us but she can't, she never felt that baby, she never held him in her arms. After a couple of minutes, the doors to my bedroom burst open making me jump. I turned to see whoever barged into my room like this. I found Suleiman standing at the door. The sight of him caused tears to form in my eyes, I didn't want to bid him farewell, I wanted to imagine that he would still be here in the palace.
"Suleiman" I stood up from the ottoman and bowed to the sultan. Suleiman walked over to me as aghas pulled the doors closed behind him.
"Why didn't you come with the children?" Suleiman asked gruffly. I wanted to lie and say I was sick but I couldn't lie to the man I loved.
"I can't bid farewell to yet another person I love, Suleiman" I whispered looking down at the floor. Suleiman let out a pained sigh. He placed a finger under my chin and raised my head up so we were looking at each other.
"Think of our other children Qamar, you have them to fill the gap. Our children are your cure. You are Qamar Sultan, Haseki Qamar Sultan, my wife and the owner of my heart" Suleiman's words caused a smile to come over my face. He leaned his forehead on mine. It felt like my soul returned to my body by his mere touch.
"Don't stay away for long" I begged fisting his Kaftan. Suleiman wrapped me in his strong arms. I felt like I was the luckiest woman alive to have such a caring and loving husband ever.
"Take care of our children" Suleiman whispered in my ear. I let out a sigh and nodded my head thing that this moment between his arms was ending. Suleiman pulled away from me and placed a kiss on my forehead before leaving my chamber.
Just as Suleiman left all of my children scrambled into the room making me laugh a little as Osman and Abdullah pushed and nudged each other as they stumble in.
"Mommy" Nuriye reached up for me. I leaned down and picked up the three years old girl. I kissed her cheek making her giggle.
Life will be hard away from Suleiman and our unnamed son. I lost two children in this unforgiving palace, the palace that turned me from a slave to a Sultana. Topkapi Palace was filled with both pain and love for me. I am grateful for all of my children and could only mourn my two children, one unborn and one stillborn.
"Sultanim, this letter is from Gül agha" Rosie handed me a small letter. I scrambled to open it. When Mahidevran was in charge of the harem she kicked out Gül and I used that opportunity to send him searching for my sisters.
Sultana of sultanas I am honored to inform you that I have found your sisters. Sahihuban Sultan hid your sisters in one of her mansions on the outskirts of Bosnia and the mansion is heavily guarded and it would be very hard to rescue them from there.
However, my loyalty towards covers my cowardice and I shall contact the most trusted guards in the palace and send them in his majesty's name to rescue your sisters.
Count the days' Sultana, in two months' time, you will have your sisters by your side Insh'Allah.
Your loyal servant Gül
"They're coming to me, Rosie" I whispered looking back up at my loyal maid. Rosie smiled happily at me. I couldn't wait for my sisters to join me soon. I could only hope that Elizabeth doesn't blame me for her missing finger.
"Prepare everything, Rosie, prepare my mansion in Edirne and send them there. Make sure that they will be comfortable when they get here" I ordered standing up from the couch. Rosie bowed and left to do as I told her. I felt like I was slowly regaining my strength. I burned the letter in the fireplace before making my way out to the terrace in the room. It overlooked the garden where my sons Osman and Abdullah were playing with wooden swords. Beside them in a tent stood Mustafa watching them. I hated how close he was to then.
"Mal" I called to my maid. She walked out of the room and onto the terrace. She bowed to me and awaited my orders.
"Bring them back" I ordered. Mal bowed and left the room. Mustafa stopped Osman and Abdullah with a laugh and hugged them. I hated seeing him interact with my sons. He was a danger to them and I will do anything in my power to eliminate that power, I will take Manisa away from Mustafa one way or another and send my Osman there. My only fear was having to be away from Suleiman but I had a feeling that it would be easy for me to persuade Suleiman into letting me stay here in Istanbul. I leaned against the marble railing and admired the sunset for a second before turning back to watch Osman and Abdullah.
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Mustafa looked up at my terrace when Mal came to retrieve Osman and Abdullah from the gardens. His expression was hard to read from so far away. Now I was confused about what he felt for me after everything that had happened. After his crush and him witnessing my breakdown. Mustafa was my enemy and I will protect myself and my children from him even if it was the only thing I do for the rest of my life.
