MY FIRST BOYFRIEND [BXB]

Apart

I quickly rushed to my room and luckily my roommate wasn't there so I had the whole room to process my thoughts. I gently jumped to my bed and seconds later there was a knock on the door , it was Lindsay , the boy staying next to my room. He said he was there to check up on me and he also asked if everything was okay and why was I in such a rush!? I told him I was fine and he shouldn't worry, I told him to not stress and I thanked him for checking me up! He didn't exactly believe me... I was a mess and I couldn't understand why , was it because Pete is gay or was it because I noticed I liked men? I wasn't okay and I couldn't tell Lindsay , we weren't that close enough for me to disclose any of my then feelings! We said our goodbyes and he repeated that if I need a shoulder to cry on I must come to him , he also assured me that he is like a brother to me and I shouldn't be afraid of him.

As soon as I closed the door I jumped to the bed and pulled out a story book to read the previous LGBTQ short story I've read last week.. The new chapter that I was reading was about when the other boy was finding himself to put it in a simplified form , the chapter was at a stage when the other boy realised he was gay! As I simultaneously turned on them pages I couldn't help not getting consumed , I swear my brain related soo much and when the boy finally realised he was gay.. my brain released a happiness stimulae causing me to go deep in my thoughts to find who the hell am I.

I realised I found peace in men and I couldn't accept or tell myself that I liked them. I didn't really give my attention to men ... All of this started when I met Pete. I thought about him and the things we used to do together were pretty clear now.. We weren't doing some male bestfriend shiid , we were literally displaying some same gender love shiid and I hadn't noticed!

I started to think about Pete and how he used to make me feel whenever I was with him. I thought about the efforts he used to do for me! I noticed that all the things he did for me was because he liked me. I asked myself if I liked him too or what. Told myself to relax and moments later there was a knock on the door!

*Ghuu ghuu ghuuu , the door cried , I got off my bed to open the door. "Who was at my door at this time?" I asked myself. I opened the door and my eyes couldn't believe what I saw , my lips created a W shape , It was...