Citrus: Mei's Story vol. 3 - Rivalled Heart

II. Love Games

         "I'm in love with you!"
         I sat at the table clutching at the stuffed paws of the giant bear plushy we started calling Kumagoro with my face half hidden. The smell of my attempt at making dinner still hung in the air, not fully masked by Yuzu's rescue and amazing second try. If I had to pinpoint why I had failed in the simple task of making dinner, it was that my mind was too busy on more important matters. And so we were now here locked in this moment where the room was steadily growing awkward to be in.
       "I want to be with you, always!"
       "I love you too! Let's get married!"
       Maybe having a romance film playing over dinner wasn't the smartest thing in our situation. And why are they yelling at each other when they're holding each other that close? A whisper would be much more intimate.
       I watched as Yuzu glanced from me to the film and then to the dishes she was working on. Another part of my winning strategy had been to have dinner facing each other rather than sitting next to each other like usual. For other people it always seemed romantic and a way to gaze at the person you loved without any need for an excuse. For the two awkward and not on the best of terms potential lovers like us... it was hell. On instinct we kept avoiding looking at each other only to steal glances and get embarrassed at almost being caught. I realised halfway through that this was what Mother had to put up with seeing when we ate together.
        No wonder she picked up on it right away. A blind cat would spot us as being attracted to each other. So why is it so hard to just say it and be together.
       The music swelling at what was likely the kiss in the movie tore me from my retrospective mood and reminded me of my goal. Whatever happened next I needed to make sure that we opened the door for us to return to being... more than sisters but not quite lovers.
       "Yuzu."
       "Y-yes?!"
       Water sloshed in the sink as the dish she was washing slipped from her fingers and I nearly wanted to congratulate her for being louder than the people in the film. But I'd be lying if I said seeing her this flustered just because I said her name didn't make me extremely happy.
       See this you little thieving brat? This is what it looks like to hold Yuzu's heart in your hands. Wait! No! Stay focused, Mei! Tell her.
      "The student council got the test scores today."
      For a moment the air seemed to still as I looked directly at her, hoping to catch her reaction.
      "You were ranked 97th."
       "What?!"
       Her face took on a look of stunned shock but when it relaxed it seemed a little more unnatural and forced than I had hoped. It was almost like she was trying to hide her feelings. I heard the same false emotion in her words as well.
      "Awesome!! I guess now Gramps won't have any complaints!"
      Stop it!
     "It's all because you tutored me, Mei! Thanks a bunch!!"
     Stop forcing yourself to sound cheery and ask what you want to know already?!
      I sat there fussing with Kumagoro's paws and trying to hide the fact that this false reaction was infuriating me and so the conversation started to die quickly. Being the culprit I attempted to revive it by changing the topic.
      "... Dinner was delicious."
      Mother, I'm sorry I failed and didn't manage dinner for her like we planned. I got distracted.
      "Oh, thanks! It's a curry recipe Mom taught me!"
      It was the fact you made it that made it taste so good...
     "I'll teach it to you next time, Mei!"
     Why is this so hard?! I told her the test results, now I just need to tell her that she proved me wrong, that everything I had said before was wrong, and then hold her close and kiss her once to make everything clear. But every time I try to move forward I keep seeing that thief. Why am I getting so hung up on a stupid... ah... it's that brat. It's because she stole my kiss from Yuzu. I need to deal with this as well.
      "So, um...!"
      "Why were you so late coming home tonight?"
      "Huh?!"
       Yuzu seemed to have come to a decision herself about something but I didn't wait for her. I had a goal to accomplish and someone was standing in my way. I let the air hang just long enough to get her to answer my question.
      "Ah, sorry."
      Who was she?
      "I ran into an old childhood friend."
      And she thinks it's okay to steal things that don't belong to her?! What kind of friend is that?! Why am I getting so worked up? I saw...
      "We used to play together all the time."
      I saw Yuzu's reaction. She doesn't have any interest in romance with that girl.
      "She's like a little sister to me."
       Hearing her call someone else that made me twitch, but it sounded... right in a way. More appropriate of a feeling for her to have.
      She can have that title, I want your heart, and your lips, and your body... I want you.
      "She acts all grown up but she's still just a kid!"
      I slid out of my chair as I listened to her tone shift from being a little nervous to confidently discussing her feelings of normal kinship with this girl who had stolen her lips. I walked into the kitchen and made my way closer to where she stood washing dishes. In that moment I could no longer hold back my desire to hold her.
        "She still needs me looking out for her..."
        I wrapped my arms around her from behind, careful to not bump into her arms or trap them, and sank my body into its place against hers.
       "Mei?!"
       This... this is how I always want to sleep in bed with you, Yuzu. I want you to hold me like this.
        I heard her moan despite us doing nothing but hold her and slowly her body seemed to adjust to a more comfortable position in my arms.
       "Um, aren't we supposed to stop doing things like this?"
       As an answer, I kissed the nape of her neck. Not a regular gentle peck or a tender smooch. I opened my mouth and kissed her neck like I was going to leave a mark. I even let her feel my teeth rub against her skin in a playful tease at a bite. She shuddered in my arms and let out a gasp before pressing herself even closer against me. For a moment it was like it had been before I ruined it. The spark and feeling of wonderful tension aching to be released had returned, and I hoped to cement it. My hand drifted into the space between the buttons on her shirt to hint towards my intention, but before I could ask for her consent to continue I felt her hand grip my wrist tightly to prevent it from moving.
       "Hey! Stop...!"
       I pulled my hand back and took a step back, nervous that I had misread things again and had shattered what I had wanted to fix. Yuzu spun around and fixed me with a frustrated gaze. Then she lifted up her hands to show that she was drying a plate, and let me know exactly why she had stopped me.
      "Don't grope me while I'm washing the dishes! What if I drop it?!"
      She was blushing and her last sentence was half muffled by her holding the plate to hide her face. It was too cute. But what she said still struck a cord with me.
        I need to remember time and place for such things... while she's doing something that could be dangerous or tricky, not the best time. Wait... does that mean there is a time she wanted to be touched like that?!
     I decided to try further hinting at what I was trying to imply by directly contradicting my own harsh comments in one retort.
      "Touching like this..."
       Do not mess this up... say it as gently as possible. No harshness at all.
      "Is normal for sisters, right?"
     "Huh?"
      She returned my inquisitive stare with a look of utter confusion. But as I let the moment linger I noticed the blush deepen and her eyes begin to look away purposely. It seemed that while she didn't fully understand what I was driving at, she was quickly picking up on the difference between how we act and how she viewed the other girl.
      I started out of the kitchen and turned back to utter one finally thing.
      "I'm glad you made it into the top hundred. Congratulations on beating my challenge. I was wrong in what I said before... so please, don't stay out so late anymore."
       I turned and left the kitchen. I didn't need to see her reaction. As long as I didn't hear crying, yelling, or crashing plates tonight... I knew we would start moving forward once more. That night, it seemed like Yuzu slept a little easier and just a little closer than the night before.