The End Of The World

1

I opened the closed door, just a tiny bit late. My squeaking shoes took the attention from the backrows to me, still, i attempted to make my way to my seat without getting the attention of Ms. Willford, but failed miserably because of these stupid shoes "this is your third time this week, my office after class." She said without moving her gaze from the equation she seemed to be solving. I sat down, taking the little of school supplies i had left after a messy start of the year "god you stink, do you know how bad you make me look when you act and smell like that, Sam said she couldnt be around me because we share a home" Sara, my stepsister hissed from my right, its 8.20 and shes already starting again, its a never ending story. I sighed loudly, making sure atleast half of the class heard and moved my chair to face her "doesn't it just suck to be you" i said all while sarcasticlly wiping imaginary tears off my face.

I knew i was going to pay when i got home, it would be totally worth it though, i look down at my dirty red almost brown convers, they have holes all over them.

i hade not brushed my teeth in forever. I know people gave me the eye that they dont like me that much, but i always try to not be that person. I always do. Its hard though, with your mom gone and being in foster care, every family is shit. I hate them all but i just act like im fine like they do love me. Its obvious that they dont, that they dont give a shit about me. I have one god damn friend. Its not a good one but its better then nothing as my foster mom would say, it's Sara, you probably guessed it though, she is social, perfect body, has crystal white teeth and brown shiny hair, its curld and looks super healthy, haha wish that was me. could not be though i have not washed my hair in weeks, my teeth are yellow, i have riped shoes and my hair is super greasy. I dont like the way i look. I hate the way i look. I feel disgusting i smell as if i had not showerd in forever. Its true. I dont have the energie for it, i mean? Why would i waste time taking care of my self if i will get dirty the next day anyways. Sara does not give a shit about me ether she only does it so she can look like one of thoes "i only care about personality" people i can se right thru it, the thing is i dont even have a personality..i, lost it all druing that fire, people pitty me because of it. I wish i did not care, that people loved me for me, not the shit i have been thru. My foster parents right now dont give a shit about me, thats probably the only reson she is friends with me. I try to look at the bright side an that typ of nonsense, but its not like it works?! I mean, if im having a mental break down and i think about my favourit seson of the year then that seson will automatically become the worst seson of the year. Its hard to make old people understand that! Its not how it works, i wont automatically become better and stop crying as soon as i think about drawing or that typ of shit.