ephemeral

the crescendo

Pansy looked tired and haggard one late August evening when she fell onto the bench next to Aster.

"Hard day?" Aster asked, patting Pansy's hand sympathetically.

Tears pooled in Pansy's eyes, and she grabbed Aster's face and kissed her hard. Aster leaned into the kiss, surprised but eager all the same. Pansy took total control of the kiss, bitting Aster's lip and slipping her tongue into the other girl's mouth.

"Sorry," Pansy finally said when she pulled away, wiping her smeared lipstick on the back of her hand.

"Don't apologize," Aster said, shaking her head. "I liked it. Didn't I tell you I like girls?"

Pansy smiled a half-hearted smile. "Good," Pansy said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aster asked.

Pansy shook her head. "No," she said, her voice small. "Can I just kiss you again?"

Aster nodded, half wondering how on earth they had gotten here, and leaned in to kiss Pansy again. Aster let herself be bolder now, trying not to think about how Pansy was using her as a distraction from whatever had happened that day. Her hands found strongholds in Pansy's hair while Pansy's wandered. They traced Aster's chin, her collarbone, and traveled down her naked sternum to grace Aster's breasts with their touch.

Aster gasped into the kiss as Pansy's hands explored, her hips reaching forward as their kiss heated. "Wait," Aster said, completely breathless. Pansy pulled away and watched Aster carefully. "Wanna go back to mine? My parents are out this weekend, and there's no way my sister's hung around."

Pansy's eyes were dark as she nodded and took Aster's hand. She gripped Aster like her hand was a lifeline and without it, she would die.

Fifteen minutes later they both sat on Aster's bed, fingers clutching at the thin stems of wine glasses half full with the cheap red wine Aster's sister always had lying around.

"My parents would be furious if they knew I was here," Pansy sighed, her head nestled into Aster's chest. Aster could feel every heartbeat, every breath they took in tandem, every buzz from every word.

"Are they homophobes?" Aster asked, her hand stroking Pansy's hair absently.

"Yeah," Pansy sighed. "It's more than that though. My family is full of what are called blood purists. They don't think magic people and non-magic people should mingle."

"Well, that's rubbish," Aster snorted. "Didn't you say there were some wizards and witches who came from regular families too?"

Pansy nodded solemnly. "That's why I can't stand being around my family," she whispered. "I can't disagree with them out loud or they'll kill me. And I have nowhere else to go. Everyone I know, they all think the same way. They're all so narrow-minded that they can't see past their own prejudice to the person in front of them."

"I'm so sorry, P," Aster said, leaning over to give the girl a kiss on top of her head.

"Let's not think about that right now," Pansy said, downing her wine in one gulp. "We can just make out and get drunk and pretend like it's just you and me and nothing else to stop us."

"Okay," Aster agreed, glad they could have a moment to be young and stupid, even if it was only an escape from all of their problems. She copied Pansy, downing her wine and setting her glass on the bedside table.

They stared at each other intensely, eyes boring into one another. Aster licked her lips, her mouth dry from the red wine. Her head buzzed and she wasn't sure if it was just the electric feeling she got when she was around Pansy or if it was the wine getting to her.

"You're really pretty, you know," Aster blurted out.

Pansy laughed under her breath. "And you're a lightweight," she proclaimed, the roaring intensity of the moment broken slightly. "Come here," Pansy said, opening her arms and wrapping Aster in them.

"You smell good too," Aster decided and she settled into Pansy's embrace. "Is there anything you can't do?"

Pansy hummed. "Run away with you?"

Aster frowned. "We could do it, you know," she said her voice soft. "Leave our family behind and run off to the French countryside where no one would find us."

Pansy put a forced smile up on her face. Something about it told Aster that no matter how good at hiding they were, how far away they ran, the wizards would be able to find them. "Let's not think about that right now," Pansy said again, and she leaned in and pressed a kiss against Aster's lips.

"Okay," Aster agreed, mumbling her words onto Pansy's lips.

And the thought didn't cross either Pansy or Aster's minds for the rest of the night.