Escape

Chapter Twenty-Two

I wake up and realize I'm still at Samuels. His arm is around me and his head is leaning against the couch. We must have dozed off. I've had a really long day, and clearly needed some sleep. As I sit up, he stirs underneath me but stays asleep. I stand and walk over to the windows and watch a group of kids race on their bikes.

"Are you okay?" I hear Samuel ask me in a raspy voice. I turn around and he has a groggy look on his face, but he's smiling.

"Um, yeah, I am." I smile back as he walks over to me.

"You sure?" He asks as he places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently.

"Well, I mean, I smell like diner food." I laugh as I look down at my greasy work clothes, "I think I should head home and take a shower." I look at the clock on the wall and it reads 7:05 pm.

"Oh... okay." He shrugs and pushes his hands into his pockets. I get on my tiptoes and press his lips to mine. As I pull away, I see him smile.

I walk down the metal staircase and into the bookstore with Samuel following behind me. I get to the door and I turn to look back at him. He's grabbing the books of off the floor that he placed there earlier when I came barreling in, face wet with tears. I feel a heaviness in the room, between us. Samuel is looking down at the books he just picked up.

"I'll, uhm, see you later then?" I ask, feeling nervous. He nods and offers me a quick smile.

It's not that we need to spend every second of every day together, but we did just share some heavy stuff about our lives to each other. I don't know what I was expecting, but I guess it just wasn't this. Maybe revealing the mystery dissipated 'the magic'. I know I sound stupid.

I get to my apartment and drag myself up the stairs. I undress on the way up. I leave my clothes on the floor of my bedroom and walk straight into the bathroom. I have to get the diner smell off of me. I love the smell of greasy delicious food, just not in my hair or on my clothes.

I turn on the shower, wait for the warm water to take over, and step in. The water is incredibly hot and much needed. I allow the water run over me, washing the day off. I close my eyes, and his face flashes across. I close them tighter, but the tighter I close them the clearer his face becomes. I open my eyes and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling. I've been running for so long, yet he still catches up with me, one way or another. It exhausts me.

I finish up and step out of the shower before the water has a chance to run cold. I walk to the closet and grab my comfiest, and least flattering, pajamas I own. I walk over to my bag and rummage through to find lip balm, when I feel fabric balled up at the bottom. I pull it out and my chest feels warms. It's Samuels black t-shirt. The one he put on this morning. I pull it to my face and smell his cologne mixed with the smell of him. I didn't even notice that he had changed his shirt. I guess it would be hard to notice since he mostly just wears black. He must have changed and slipped it into my bag while I was asleep. This brings me relief, since I felt a strange feeling between us when I left the bookstore. I pull off my button-up pajama shirt and pull Samuels shirt over my head.

I walk downstairs and begin to make myself a cup of tea. A hot shower, hot tea, and some rest. It's all I need to find relief from the day. Well, that and Samuel, but he's clearly busy this evening, or doesn't want to see me tonight. When I mentioned that I had to leave, he didn't seem interested at all in coming back to my apartment with me. But we have been spending a lot of time together. Maybe he just needs space.

I grab my cup of tea from the kitchen and begin walking over to the couch when I hear a knock at my door. I freeze. I start to fight flashbacks of times he has found me. He would find out where I was living and come banging on my door, begging, or demanding, me to come with him. He finds me, every time. My heart rate increases with my breathing. I hear the knocking again. I can't move. What if I did see him today? He's found me... again. I don't even feel my hands drop the cup until it crashes on the ground, shooting shards of broken ceramic everywhere. My body feels numb, once again. I hate this effect, this chokehold, he has on me.