Escape

Chapter Twelve

I run up to my apartment door and place my hands on my knees. I ran back here so fast and I am completely out of breath. My lungs are burning, and my entire body feels like it's going to collapse. Samuels words reply in my head and as slam my eyes shut and shake my head. I'm still mad, really mad.

After catching my breath, I walk into the apartment and go upstairs. I gather my clothes from the hamper and put them into a large bag to bring with me to the laundry mat. I remove the sweat soaked clothes I'm wearing and toss them into the bag as well. I jump into the shower, skipping my hair. I don't have the energy to blow dry it today and it's too cold to leave it wet.

I get out of the shower and find the last clean shirt in my closet. It's an old band t-shirt with faded white lettering spelling "The Smiths: The Queen is Dead" with an image of the band members standing in front of a brick building. The shirt is so old and faded that it's barley black and is more of a dark grey color now. I tuck the shirt into my dark blue jeans. They're not exactly clean, but they'll have to wait until the next laundry day.

I spray what feels like a pound of dry shampoo through my hair and grab the laundry bag. As I walk pass the bed, I notice my white shirt laying on top of my sheets. I pause a moment before grabbing it off of the bed. I bring it up to my face and inhale Samuels scent. A few hours ago, the scent calmed me, but right now it just pisses me off, so I throw it into the bag with the rest of my clothing.

I arrive at the laundry mat that's just across the street from the apartments. I pick the biggest washer and throw all of my clothes in at once. I've never been a light and dark cycle kind of person. I start the machine and my stomach starts to growl. I took two bites of my scone at the coffeeshop and never ate breakfast after I stormed out. I look around and see a rusty vending machine in the corner. I walk over and put in a few coins. The little package of chocolate donuts looks as appealing as vending machine snacks can get, so I press the corresponding numbers on the keypad. Once they fall, I grab my breakfast from the bottom tray and walk back over to the table near the washer.

Time feels like it's going backwards. Typically, I would have brought a book to read, but I never grabbed a new one from the bookstore last time I was there.

I sigh and think about last night. I relive the incredible evening I had with Samuel. We laughed and talked for hours, even though it only felt like minutes. I picture him sitting across the table from me telling more stories about how he would prank his sister when they were younger. I look down and pick at my nails. I'm starting to feel bad.

Maybe I overreacted this morning. Okay, I definitely overreacted. The nightmare was still so fresh in my mind and his statement triggered something inside me. I moved halfway across the world in an attempt to escape the prison I was held in. I've shared nothing with no one and the first time I offer even a snippet of private information, he offers advice I didn't ask for. But I know that he didn't mean anything mean by it. Samuel is such a kind person, and I can tell that he really does care about me, not just romantically, but as a friend.

I watch the infomercial playing on the only television in the entire place and eat the rest of the mini donuts. The washer ends and I stand to place the wet clothes in the dryer. As I place each item in the dryer, I come across the white shirt that once held the scent of Samuels cologne. I bring the shirt to my nose and am disappointed that the only smell it holds now is that of detergent. I toss it into the dryer with the rest of the clothing and start the cycle.

Time continues to stall as I watch the infomercials switch off and be replaced by a morning talk show. The dryer sounds off signaling that it's complete. I walk over and pull each item out, folding it, and placing it back into the bag as neatly as possible.

I leave the laundry mat around 11:00 am. This is why I hate laundry days. I feel like I spend the entire day there. I usually don't mind it too much, when I have something to read, but today just felt like a waste of the morning. I start to think about stopping at the bookstore. I really do want to grab a new book, but I also want to see Samuel. My stomach twists at the thought of how I treated him this morning. I was so abrupt and left him there at the coffeeshop, alone.

I carry my large bag of clothes back into my apartment and begin to put them away. I usually don't put them away so soon. They usually sit in the bag as I pick through them for a day or so before I finally cave and put them away, but today I am definitely looking for a way to stall my bookstore visit. I try to think of what to say when I see Samuel. Do I apologize or wait for him to? Well, technically he already did apologize. And I basically told him to screw off.

I finish putting my clothes away and decide that I'll stop at the diner and pick-up lunch, for two. Maybe if I bring him lunch, he'll forgive, or better yet, forget my abrupt exit without me having to explain much. I look in the mirror and decide to put my hair back into a bun. The dry shampoo is making my hair look dry and helpless.

I go downstairs and slip on my black converse and cuff my jeans at the bottom. The weather is cloudy, but warm. I grab my bag and walk towards the diner.

As I walk into the diner, I see Lily at the counter. The poor girl works too much. I usually work four days a week, but Lily is here almost every day. On my first day I learned she has three kids, all under ten, and their father is no longer around. She said he just decided one day that this wasn't the life he wanted, and he left. However, she still manages to be one of the sweetest women around, next to Laura of course.

"Good morning," I offer as I walk up to her. She looks over at me and offers a bright smile.

"Good morning!" She practically yells, "Can't get enough of this place, huh?" She laughs.

"Actually, I'd like to place a carry out." I explain as I scan the menu.

"Sure, what can I get ya?" She asks.

I'm not really sure what to get. All I've seen Samuel eat is a burger at lunch and pasta at dinner. Oh, and a blueberry muffin. I scan the menu and decide to keep it to what I know he'll eat. I order a chicken salad for me and a burger for Samuel.

"Will that be all?" Lily asks, clearly out of habit, as she laughs. I laugh with her and nod.

The food is done rather quick and Lily brings it out me in a paper bag. I thank her as I hand her cash, giving her a little extra as a thank you. I grab the bag and walk out as Lily yells out, "See you tomorrow!" I smile and wave back as the door closes behind me.

I'm walking towards the bookstore and I can feel my nerves building inside of my stomach. My grip tightens around the handle of the brown paper bag and I start to doubt my decision. He probably doesn't want to see me again after this morning. I stop about five feet from the bookstore and then quickly turn around. This was stupid. This was a very stupid idea. What was I thinking?

As I go to walk away, I hear the bell chime on the door. I pause for a moment, then slowly turn around to see Samuel standing at the door, looking at me with soft eyes as his hair rests on his forehead.

"Payton?" He asks quietly. He scans my face and glances down at the bag in my hand.

"Um, hi." I reply, my voice is harsh as my entire mouth has gone dry.

"Um, hi. Are you just passing by?" He asks, and I gulp down my nerves.

"Actually, I came to see you." I explain. He stands in the open doorway as his eyebrows raise, he stays quiet.

"I, uh, brought lunch." I say as I lift the bag, "A peace offering of sorts." I laugh under my breath realizing how ridiculous I must sound.

He lowers his head to run his hand through his hair and by the time he looks back up at me his smile is wide, and his eyes are bright. His shirt is another black button up, but this one has a pink flower print covering the shirt. The top few buttons are left undone leaving a tattoo on his chest to peak through the opening. I've never seen a man look so incredible in a floral print. I've actually never seen a man look so incredible, ever.

"You didn't have to do that." He smiles, his voice is low.

"I know. I wanted to." I shrug.

He moves the door making the opening wider and motions his arm towards the inside of the bookstore. I smile and walk past Samuel as I step inside.