Please Love Me | JJK

Epilogue: Bonus (02)

The hospital's lights are blinding, and the scent of disinfectants and antiseptics stifle Jungkook's senses. Underneath all that, he knows it smells of fear and loneliness.

It's what you said it smelled like for you before, during the time when the hospital wasn't yet home, back when it was just a place where you went to get healed so one day you could play, your mother told you once.

But you got used to it; you had to. Jungkook remembers the night you told him what the experience was like, and how you fell asleep cradled in his arms, the guilt over not being there for you when you were younger crippling him.

He wished he was there to support you, maybe hold your hand when you were scared or watched cartoons with you while they injected things on your body. Maybe he could've told you jokes so you'd laugh, or brought you your favorite snacks, or maybe drew flowers for you because he would've been too shy to ask his mother to buy them for him.

He hates thinking of you being in pain, sometimes wishing there's a way for him to erase your memory of what that felt like. But he can't, so he ensures that you don't go through that again, or at least, that he'll be there for you when it's unavoidable.

"You okay?" Jungkook asks, his hand tightening its grip on yours.

"I've been coming here every year, Kook. We were here last year," you remind him. "I'm used to it; everything is okay. And they will be. Dr. Kwon will tell me the same thing he does every year - that I have nothing to worry about. And that means so do you."

You kiss his hand, knowing that always helps soothe him. In over two years of marriage, you've come to realize how sensitive Jungkook is, that when it comes to people he loves, he likes to share in what they feel, whether it's joy or something else.

"I guess I'm still getting used to it," he sighs, kissing your hand in return. "Just the thought of you going to the hospital makes me feel uneasy."

"I know, but this is a routine check-up. It's really not much. But I'm glad you're here, though," you say, urging him to look you in the eyes, your next line of offense to calm him down. "I always feel better when you are."

He manages a smile, and it's the same time when the secretary calls your name, informing you that Dr. Kwon is ready to see you.

You and Jungkook enter the office and are greeted with the smile that's brought you comfort since you were old enough to recognize faces.

"Ah, ___," he smiles. "It's good to see you. I'm glad this only happens once a year."

"So am I, but this one isn't," you motion towards Jungkook on your left. "He wishes I don't need to see you at all."

"Well, that would be ideal, right?" Dr. Kwon laughs. "But you know why you're here. It's a small price to pay, really."

Jungkook nods and tries to sit comfortably, listening to the routine questions about how you're feeling, the frequency of your palpitations, and other instances when you'd felt discomfort. You answer one-by-one, and Jungkook is relieved that nothing seems to be concerning, as Dr. Kwon, after examining you, states that your heart is healthy and like always, there's nothing to worry about.

Until Jungkook remembers what you'd mentioned recently.

"Didn't you say you were feeling nauseous the other day?"

You suddenly remember, but you can't recall when or what might've been the cause.

"Is that an unusual feeling?" Dr. Kwon takes notes as he asks. "Any other physical pain during that time?"

"Just stomach cramps, but I guess that's normal?" You reply.

Your doctor furrows his brows, prompting Jungkook to do the same.