m.s | a true friendship ⚠️TW

4. Now you know (p1)

Narrator POV:

"my family has dealt with depression for a while. Both of my grandmothers died when my parents were really young. my dads when he was 12, and my moms when she was five. my dad developed depression, and visited therapy. i never learned what my dad did when he was upset. when i was 8, my cousin and aunt committed suicide, my aunt the day after my cousin." Sarah explained to Matt.

"that took a tole on my dads mental health, knowing he just lost his sister, and nephew. a year or so later, another one of my dads sisters, became an alcoholic. she went into rehab and my mom and dad were saying their goodbyes in the hospital, knowing she probably wouldn't get out of her situation alive. my dad has always had depression." she added on.

"my mom and dad got divorced when i was 9, but lucky for me, it was not an incredibly angry/aggressive one. my parents talk all the time, discussing what the schedule is for me and my sister. my dad is emotionally abusive to me and my sister, so i hate going to my dads house. my mom listened to my crying but all she did was say, 'sorry darling, he's your father you have to see him.' me and Celia always fought, and most of the time we never got along." her voice was getting louder, and she felt her eyes welling up.

"that changed. my sister was getting bullied a lot in school. she couldn't take it anymore and started cutting, and burning her forearms, thighs, and ankles." tears started to fill Sarah's eyes and fall down her cheeks. "she was sent away to the hospital twice. i went almost a year without my sister. thats when this started to happen." she said pointing at her thighs. "its been six years since she went back last, but were never too careful around her. My mom and i moved away from my dad and sister, all for my well being. i miss my sister so much." she kept going.

"i never got attention from my parents, all they did was pay attention to Celia. she took up so much of their time, that i didn't get any. my mom always realized how distant i was, but never asked what was wrong. i think she had an idea of what i was doing to myself, but she never asked. she was always too preoccupied by Celia!" Sarah was now out of breath and was crying really hard.

Sarah's POV: 

'Jesus' i thought as i looked into Matts eyes. 'that was a lot for him to take in.' His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open. i saw a tear drip from his eye. he grabbed my hand, and lead me to his bedroom. he shut the door behind us and we got under in his bed under the covers. he put his arms around my waist and pulled me really close. "Sarah... i will always be here for you. whatever you need, come to me." he said to me as he kissed my forehead. i said nothing, not knowing what to say to him.

Matts POV:

a few minutes after we got back to my room Sarah fell asleep in my arms. many more passed by before i fell asleep. my mind was busy thinking of how bad she was hurt. what was i going to do? how could i help her? Why would her parents ignore her when she needed them the most? i just didn't understand. 

it was now morning, and i saw Sarah peacefully asleep with her head on my chest.  i smiled at how beautiful she was with sunlight surrounding her face. i guess it was too bright in her eyes, because she woke up a few minutes later. "ugh" she mumbled softly while opening her eyes. "good morning Sarah" i said softly. "good morning Matty" she said back with a smile. i think she understood that i would never judge her, or make fun of her skin. "are you feeling better?" i asked. "yeah" she answered. "you hungry?" i asked. "yeah" she replied as she laughed a little. "okay, lets go get some food." i said getting up from my bed as she did the same. she followed me downstairs. 

Sarah's POV:

i followed Matt downstairs to get some food. Mary Lou was in the kitchen, already making breakfast. "good morning Sarah!" she said to me lovingly and gave me a big hug. "hey what about me?" Matt said jokingly. "good morning my beautiful boy" she laughed a little bit, gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek." the waffle machine beeped. "oop- gotta get that" she said, "don't worry Matt i made you pancakes." Matt laughed and shook his head. "you know i'm fine with waffles." he said after he chuckled a little bit. 

we got our food and walked to the couch, where Nick and Chris were already eating, while watching some show. "EW Matt. get the fuck out of here with those pancakes of yours." Chris said. "yeah" nick said too focused on the TV to put effort into a full sentence. "good morning to you too" Matt said annoyed. "what are you watching?" i ask nick and Chris. "i dunno, some weird shit nick picked out" Chris said. "it's called Family Feud asshat and it's a great show." nick said to Chris right as a commercial break kicked it.

Me and Matt sat on the couch to eat, i sat next to nick, Matt sat next to me. "how did you sleep Sarah?" nick asked just trying to start conversation. i looked up at Matt, "uhm.. good." i said answering nicks question. Chris looked over at me and Matt. he mumbled something to himself but i couldn't make out what it was he said. i felt my phone buzz in my pocket. i grabbed it and opened it. 

text from mom

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mom: 

hey love, please be home before 

noon, we have some stuff to do

Sarah:

okay i will <3

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"my mom said i have to be home before noon." i said to all three boys. "okay well what time is it now?" nick asked. "11:23" i said. "damn it" Chris said. "its fine... i do live directly across the street to you" i laugh. "besides, it's not like i have any other friends here either." i say looking down at my lap. "well you have us." Matt says looking at me with a reassuring smile. i smiled back. "i'll go get changed and we'll find something to do until i've gotta go." i said getting up "okay" they all agreed.

i walked upstairs and got my bag from Matt's room, then walked to the bathroom. i got undressed. i wondered what Matt was thinking when he saw my skin last night.. was he grossed out? he probably thinks i'm crazy... i got redressed and went back downstairs. the boys were in the kitchen for they had taken care of their dishes, including mine. i walked to the kitchen after setting my bag down next to the front door. 

"so what do we want to do?" i ask the boys. "maybe we could go outside and pass the lacrosse ball" Chris offered. "sure i'm down" Matt said. Nick and i agreed. we all went outside after Matt and Chris grabbed their sticks. the lacrosse balls were already outside. a couple minutes passed by, nick was on his phone while i was keeping score of how many they'd caught. i checked my phone, 11:49. "a few more throws and i should head out." i said disappointed. "awwwe why do you have to go so soon?" nick said in a sad voice. "i dunno my mom wants me for something." i said to him in reply. 

a few minutes passed by. "kay i'd better go" i said to the disappointed boys. "let us walk you home" Chris suggested. "its only across the street" i said "so what? the more time we get to spend with you the better." nick said. "yeah" Matt added. "okay sure" i said with a smile. i stood up from the lawn chair i was sitting in, and walked inside to get my bag. "ready?" Matt asked me. "yup" i said as all four of us walked out the front door. "Wait!" nick yelled abruptly. "what?" i asked laughing. "i need your number!" nick said back. "oh yeah," i said, "here" i said as he gave me his phone to put my number into. i smiled and gave it back to him. "kay now we're good." nick says. we start walking towards my house across the street, Matt at my right side, nick and Chris at my left. i open the front door to my house and see two people instead of just my mom. the other girl is wearing a tee shirt and shorts. i pause.

i think to myself,     'oh, fuck no'

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AUTHORS NOTE: 

guess who! who could she possibly recognize immediately, and who could she want to hide from her new friends? sorry this ones a long one, but its a good one! thank you so much for reading this far in, i'm so grateful!