COTE: My desired future

2 year - Thank you

Kei was still standing in the middle of the classroom, looking at me with clenched fists.

"Forgive me for not informing you before this"

"Alright"

"I didn't want people to find out or suspect something earlier because of your behavior towards me."

"I get it"

Kei answer me with short sentences, normal. Surely she is angry with me, feeling betrayed by her boyfriend, losing the security that her guest provide her.

All the suffering I had caused her, lose its usefulness at this moment.

"From the next semester we will be rivals, only one of the two will reach class A, so we don't need to continue collaborating... and..."

As I spoke, I lowered my head, unable to meet Kei's eyes any longer.

Predicting what I was going to say next, Kei burst into tears before I finished the sentence.

"...it will be impossible for us to continue being a couple"

From the beginning of our relationship, I knew this moment would come.

Sooner or later, we would have had to separate, because my purpose is to return to the white room.

The goal is Karuizawa Kei become strong enough to stop to be a parasite, and be able to survive on her own. And it is clear that time has already come.

Normally I would have delayed this moment until the end of the third year, but to execute my plan I cannot afford to continue with it.

Everything done is to prove my father wrong, that someone out of that damn room can top his masterpiece.

And Horik... no, class B as a whole is the only one that can do that.

If this is the case, I will return to the white room with the certainty of destroying the system devised by my father, but in all of this, Karuizawa Kei is an obstacle.

In her current emotional state, she will never oppose me, not with all her might.

It's necessary that all the pieces are in their place.

Hate is a strong weapon. I know she want fall back into despair over a simple breakup.

I knew all this, I always known, then why is it so painful?

After drying her tears, Kei came closer to me.

"So that's the way things are..."

I kept my head down, unable to look directly at her, ready to receive whatever her anger dictated at that moment.

When his feet stood in front of me, tense and waiting, the only thing I felt was his lips resting on my forehead, which was still pointing to the ground in regret.

Surprised, I looked up at her.

"Kiyotaka, thank you for everything you have done for me"

For a moment, I wanted to erase everything I had said so far.

But I couldn't say a word, I wasn't as strong as her.

"Thank you for making me stronger and allowing me to get up on my own, I know that everything you've done so far has been for that, although with your slightly abrupt ways"

Even at a time like this, you have the strength to tease me. You are really incredible.

"We have enjoyed many good times together, you have made the life of this boring high school girl much more interesting"

Please, hate me, please... it will be easier for both of us

"I know you better than anyone, and although you doubt yourself and your face is not very expressive, I know you are also suffering from this"

Do I really suffer about separating from her, or just cause I won't be able to "study" more about love?

What face do I have at this moment?

...let's not try to fool ourselves, I already know the answer...

"Now I'm going with my classmates, the ones who are going to kick your new class's ass and become class A."

Kei headed for the exit, but when she reached the door, after a pause, she turned to me with a beaming smile.

"I'm sorry, It couldn't be me. But I hope that one day, you will find someone who can make you smile"

Is it really worth what I do if it means losing her?

Saying this, he went out, and even if she tried to get away enough so that I wouldn't notice it, I heard her cry that became more and more distant among the empty corridors.

Already alone, a warm feeling ran through my cheeks.

I checked with my hand... tears?

This is news even to me.

A pleasant novelty. A relief.

Apparently they were true, my feelings for Kei

It wasn't just a book that I had just thrown away because it was finished.

I am not a monster without feelings.

And I am certain only now, when I have just lost her, the only person I have ever loved

... the only one who realized this before me