Featherlight

Three

cw: bullying, (internalized) homophobia (im sure this is already clear, but please be warned)

***

"Back off!" Jade yells, wincing from the contact and backing off himself towards a wall after shoving Euclase away, with enough force to make his friend stumble a bit. Jade trembles as he clutches his fists at his side, anxiety coursing through his body in uncomfortable waves.

Euclase's face is a mixture of confusion and hurt. His gaze softens as it falls to the floor. Jade is still a bit panicked, not wanting to move from his position.

"I'm sorry."

A stifling silence falls over the two of them.

"I'm heading inside, then. Mom's already preparing lunch. It's... your favourite. Egg fried rice." Jade hears Euclase's footsteps as he leaves Jade for some privacy.

Calm down.

Jade's heart is still beating out of his chest, and he can still hear his pulse in his ears. Tears are stinging his eyes, but he tries his best to steady himself. He wants to dig himself into a hole and bury himself alive. He... really didn't mean to do that. Euclase is clearly hurt by his actions, and that hurts him, too.

It's a weird thing for his words and actions to not align with his thoughts and how he truly feels, but it always happens and it keeps happening, the incident a few years ago being the catalyst of it all.

He decides to wait outside for a little while longer.

...

Jade walks closer towards the gate, his eyes scanning the area around him. Now that he's all alone, with no Euclase to interrupt his wild thoughts, he can finally relax a bit and actually take in his surroundings. His eyes trail towards the beach that seems way more distant than it actually is.

A memory comes forth, washing Jade away with a wave of mixed emotions.

He remembers all the times he's walked on the shore, admiring the setting sun that's just about to dip beneath the horizon. He remembers feeling tiny grains of sand getting crushed under his feet and sand getting between his toes. He remembers walking close to the water and feeling the small and low waves wash the sand off his feet, only for more sand to get on there when he continues his journey, walking along the beach.

He remembers hearing Mrs. J call him back for dinner, and he remembers seeing Mr. J reading his newspaper on the way inside. He remembers the warm smile he would greet him with as he welcomes Jade inside their house.

"You can stay for however long you'd like," he said.

Jade would smile back, as he completely forgets all about his own house and his awfully distant parents.

But that's all he remembers.

Something feels off about his memory of this whole thing. It feels like there's something he's forgetting, and not on purpose. He can feel a headache starting to come up and eat him from the inside, pulsating and throbbing, just from trying to correctly remember what actually happened. He thinks back to the time he was at the beach, all those years ago.

Shouldn't there be another set of footsteps, next to his in the sand?

He...

He remembers holding Euclase's hand, all of a sudden. Remembers the soft texture of it, and how comforting it was.

But he still cannot remember.

The scene in his head remains of one where he strolls the beach, alone without company, even though he's sure that this scene...