Namjin Smut

I know

Written by: milfseok69

Summary:

Fresh out of the military, Seokjin attends Namjoon's engagement party.

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"Why are you crying?"

Seokjin startles, looks up from the bathroom sink. He forgot to lock the fucking door.

"Oh."

A small girl looks up at him with large, quizzical eyes. Namjoon's niece? Cousin's child? He can't remember.

They stare at each other.

"Did you hurt yourself?" she asks. She's clutching a soft toy in one hand, trailing on the floor.

"Ah yes, I'm afraid I did," he chuckles weakly, acting instincts kicking in. She can't be more than 6 or 7.

"Did it hurt when you shaved your hair off?" she asks, staring at his buzzcut.

"Not really."

She nods solemnly, then runs away out of the bathroom and down the stairs to join the other children. He turns around and stares at himself in Namjoon's bathroom mirror.

"Fuck," he mutters. "Get yourself together."

His eyes are red, lips even more swollen. It's going to be so obvious. He sighs and splashes cold water onto his face a few more times.

Namjoon and his fiancé look good together. Seokjin knew that they would, and do, because he's stalked them on social media.

They're out in the garden with the majority of their family and friends. So rare to find a house with a proper garden in like this Seoul, especially in this neighbourhood. It's something Namjoon always wanted – Seokjin remembers them daydreaming about a distant future of being able to their own places, cramped into the single dormitory bedroom.

He leans against the side of the house, pretending to enjoy the Autumn sunlight on the side of his close-shaven head. Children race across the grass, parents shouting. Somebody's uncle is trying to start a barbecue on the patio. The party is casual and not traditional at all, at Namjoon's own house because of the necessity of privacy. A 'casual informal gathering for friends and family', Namjoon had clarified.

Seokjin watches the happy couple from afar like some sort of lonely creep. He watches Namjoon say something that makes the whole group around him crumple with laughter. Watches him smile sheepishly at his own joke – so annoying – with the dimples in full effect.

His fiancé laughs too, her head thrown back and her hand tight around his thick waist. The sunlight gleams on her long black hair. Of course she's laughing, he's clever and funny and gracious. What did Seokjin expect, Namjoon to find someone out of convenience?

They look happy together. Normal. He knows from Instagram that she's a writer, has just released her fifth work of contemporary fiction to great acclaim. He wonders where they met. Probably some wanky literary event, maybe an art gallery.

Namjoon has finally what he always wanted, which is: a wife, family, children. Well, not yet but soon. And Seokjin never wanted to take that from him. He's happy, he really is. That Namjoon is happy.

None of the other members are here yet - caught up with work. Yoongi is producing for an international artist with time constraints, Hoseok is filming for a reality show, the maknaes are god knows where. He looks down at his phone and as in on cue, receives a notification from Taehyung.

Are you there hyung? We're outside

By 'we', he assumes Taehyung means himself and Jimin. He sighs. He should feel relieved that some of the others are here, shouldn't he? Not more stressed.