where only the sweetest words remain

chapter twenty

hey everybody! as some of you know i share a room with my mom and when she's home i can't write. well unfortunately she was off for a week so that's why it's taken me a while to get this chapter out 😭 i didn't plan on posting this today because there's supposed to be another part at the end but i decided to integrate it into the next chapter since this one was already long sksjsjs

i have a little treat included in the end note to make up for the wait, although i highly suggest not viewing it until you've finished reading the june section of this chapter. anyway im done rambling i hope you all like it!!

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"You're almost two months pregnant," is what Dr. Figueras tells them when they visit her office the following week.

Leaning back in the examination chair, Carla feels Samuel's hand involuntarily tighten around her own. He may not have been here with her for her first prenatal appointment when she was pregnant with Eva, so some of the process she had to go through today was new to him, but he read every pregnancy book and article he could get his hands on in the months following afterwards. Carla knows what he's thinking. It's the same worry that had instantly popped up in her head too.

"Two months?" She asks, staring at the ultrasound monitor. "But it's so small."

In one of those books of his, it said a two month-old fetus is apparently supposed to be the size of a blueberry. She remembers telling him how ridiculous that was, comparing an unborn baby to a different fruit every week it develops. Right now, however, all she can focus on is how the blob on the black and white display somehow looks even tinier than that.

"From the conception timeline you gave me, by my estimate, I'd put the fetus about seven weeks along," Dr. Figueras confirms. "Although, yes, it is a bit smaller than what is typical at this stage."

Samuel hesitantly licks his lips. "Does that have to do with the womb scarring?"

"The scarring is playing a factor in that, yes." The doctor can clearly sense the unease on their faces, because she's quick to reassure them, "However, all fetuses grow at different rates. Some are larger throughout the pregnancy, and others may remain small. Sometimes, they're just slow bloomers. Your fetus is on the tinier side, but there aren't any signs of poor development, and besides the anemia that came back on your bloodwork, Carla, there weren't any other anomalies in the tests we took today."

"It's okay, then?" Carla's shoulders gradually sag in relief.

"I'd say so. You're right to be concerned, however." The other woman takes a seat on the stool across from her. "At the moment, everything seems to be fine, but given your birthing history, you are at higher risk for miscarriage. Other problems might develop in the future with either your baby, you, or both. There's honestly no way to tell unless it comes to that."

Carla exchanges a look with her husband before glancing down at her hands. "Yeah. We figured."

Dr. Figueras' face creases sympathetically. She pauses for a moment. "I'm sorry to be so direct, but have you two considered how you want to move forward? There isn't enough concrete risk that I'd advise you to abort, but safety isn't one-hundred percent guaranteed either. Regardless, it's solely up to you."

Truthfully, Carla hasn't grown any less indecisive in the days since she took those initial pregnancy tests in their bathroom. Samuel has made it more than clear that whatever she chooses, he won't be angry. But he's also stated that he wants it. She does too.

On the other hand, there's the unknown. Where there is the possibility of the two of them getting all that they've been wanting, the possibility of everything—and maybe more—being taken away from them lies too.