Seandra Lea Jones Is A Tomboy

4. Metaphorical Cherry

I didn't mean to ask it, I swear, but when I got into the house it was gnawing at me. I thought a nice cold breakfast beer would help, but nope. As I sat, scrunched in the corner, nursing the only thing keeping a massive hangover at bay, I still wanted to know. Well, wanted isn't the right word, it was more a deep need to understand.

So deep I tried to sip and as soon as my mouth opened, the ridiculous ass question popped out. "Am I fuckable?"

They were both zoned out watching sports center, plus no one had turned the music off from the party, so part of me wished with all my might that they hadn't heard the stupid question. They didn't say anything for so long that for a couple seconds there, I had hope. But then Shepherd and his stupid pretty blue eyes looked at me.

"What did you just ask?" He wanted to know, his voice gravely and deep. I could see in his eyes that he absolutely heard my question, just couldn't really believe his drunk, hazy mind.

I licked my lip and looked away, forcing my eyes to focus on the TV. "Huh?"

"Don't play dumb, it's not cute." Danny deadpanned, which pushed harder on the thing that was nagging me.

My head snapped back and I pinned him with a glare, "So I'm not fuckable?"

He looked tired, his brown eyes sitting low, his locs hanging over his forehead messily. When I reasked the question, his eyes flashed with heat before he smirked. "Where did that come from?"

I scoffed, annoyed he wasn't answering me, I looked to Shepherd. He was focused back on the tv, so I waited for him to feel my gaze... except he never looked my way. It was when he barely peeked over and then quickly focused back on the tv that I realized he was ignoring me. I growled, "Derek! Am I hot?"

His entire body relaxed, "Oh, hell yeah you're hot." He even grinned and winked at me.

My eyes narrowed, "So I'm hot, just not fuckable?"

Shepherd's cheeks bloomed with heat, which was weird because Shep is like the least embarrass-able guy ever. In high school he split his pants once and rocked them, his heart covered boxers showing, all day. I loved him for it, but now it put me on high alert because, "What's the difference?" I demanded to know, "Why won't you answer if I'm fuckable?"

Shep looked to Danny for help before looking back at me, he shrugged a shoulder. "Your my sis, I don't want to fuck my sis. Even a play one. No matter how hot, it's principle." He finally admitted, swinging his legs off the couch so he could sit up. He slapped Danny's arm, before standing to walk away, "He can answer though."

Deep down I understood Shep's logic, and maybe when I was less in my head I'd appreciate his restraint, but in that moment all I felt was confirmation. No man will want me. When I looked to Danny I felt desperate, "Am I hot?"

Danny's eyes were searching my face, and I knew he knew that what I was asking ran deeper than an insecurity about my looks. Ever the gentleman, he didn't pry mid spiral (he knew from experience it would only make things worse). "Of course you are, why else would I keep you around?"

I kissed my teeth, feeling spicy. "Cause I know why you're no longer allowed at the movie theater on Boulder."

His eyes immediately darkened, his mouth pinching tight. Neither of us said a thing, just kept staring each other down, Shep, on the other hand, groaned from the kitchen. "When the fuck will one of y'all tell me what the hell happened at that damn theater?" He kind of begged.

I took in a deep breath, ignoring Shep. Danny licked his lower lip, ignoring Shep.

"Am I fuckable?"

His nostrils flared, and something less shut the fuck up dark and more make me (in a sexy way) dark entered his eyes. I raised a brow, he blinked and then it was back to my friend Danny. He grinned slowly, "Yes, Sean. You are fuckable."