Limited Hate

Chapter 5: The Performance

"Aaliyah. Aaliyah!" I hear someone whisper frantically.

Whoever they are, they're shaking my shoulder and they sound almost scared. "Aaliyah!" I open my eyes and look to my right. It's Felix, awkwardly muttering my name and quaking my shoulder. I look in front of me. Simon is staring at me, his neck strained.

   "Shoot!" I suddenly cry out. "How long did I fall asleep? Oh no. . . I'm so sorry Simon!"

"No worries," Simon says, turning around again. "Let's just get you into the stadium. Felix, come on."

I hurry out the door and take a moment to balance. I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on the ground. It feels like my nap made me weaker and more tired. How long have I slept within the past three days? About twenty-five minutes? Now I'm at serious risk of passing out. I continue walking.

"We're really late today," Simon whispers to me. "Let's get you in there as quickly as possible." I sigh and begin walking faster, Felix right behind me.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry. . ." I apologize again. We enter the huge black stadium and rush over to the dance practice room.

"Aaliyah!" my choreographer says, running towards me. "You're late!"

"I'm so sorry! It was my fault, I accidentally fell asleep in the car!" I say, dropping my bag onto a nearby chair and jogging into the practice room.

"Aaliyah, please, you need to get more sleep! It's not healthy for you to be up so late!" my second teacher, Madison, says. "Plus, you have a concert today. Please be more time considerate!" I exhale loudly and look at the ground.

"Let's just get going." I mumble. How would she know how much work I had to do? It wasn't my fault I had to pull overnighters to get stuff done. She didn't even have half the amount of work as me!

Madison begins playing my music and I repeat the warm-up I did yesterday. The little energy I got from my nap is already wearing off.

After a half hour, my warm up wraps up and I am sweaty and panting. My vision is beginning to blur again at the edges. I walk over to wear Felix sits against the wall. He reaches for my water bottle and hands it to me. Glaring at him, I snatch it from his grip and roll my eyes. Why is he being nice now? Does he pity me for being late, for crying in front of him? His face contorts in anger but he doesn't say anything.

I take two huge swigs of water before placing it down next to him again. Then I start my rehearsal, going through every song that I will perform tonight. Slide left, twirl, extend my left hand, drop to the ground, backbend my way up again, I am so tired, run and jump, my head is starting to feel cloudy, how can I sing and dance?

Four hours. Four hours I rehearse the
same songs over and over until I can do it without thinking of the next move. I am finally allowed a break from Madison and slowly make my way to Felix again, this time sinking onto the ground next to him.

          I barely have the muscle to open my water bottle. In only one hour, I will be back on the stage, in front of thousands of people. Again. There is not as much to prepare since it's the last day of my concert in Vegas, but the audio is still double checked and my outfits are re-ironed. My makeup is slightly different today, the eyeshadow is removed and replaced with a thin line of light blue eyeliner.

"My goodness!" Jessica, one of my makeup designers says. "Aaliyah, your eyes! They look horrible. . ."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't get much sleep last night." I respond blankly. My team also changes my lipstick color from pale pink to magenta. The rest they replicate from last night.

With around thirty minutes left, I pull on the same newly ironed dark blue suit from last night and slip on my boots. I can hear the crowd chanting my name again, but I don't want to waste any energy walking over to see them. I unsteadily make my way downstairs again, not bothering to double check anything except my microphone. Now, my entire vision seems like it is covered by a layer of blurry film, turning most of what I see into fuzz.

Grumbling, I step back onto the black platform and take a seat right in the middle, yawning widely. There's no one down here except for the sound engineers, and Felix, but the audio crew is so busy making adjustments they don't pay much attention to me. I feel myself dozing off, my body tipping to the side when someone's hand stops me from falling. I slowly open my eyes and look to my left. It's Felix, of course. I rest my chin on my palm and start to fall asleep again.

"No, you have to perform in like ten minutes," Felix says in a worried tone. "Stay awake."

I groan and rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the heaviness in my eyelids. I remember reading an article while mindlessly scrolling through my phone about how your vision gets blurry when your eyes are tired.

   "Beginning on the count of three!" the same man from yesterday says, pointing to the controls. I stand up and smoothen the wrinkles out of my blazer "One, two, and. . . three! Start raising the platform!"

The ground beneath me begins to rise and once again, the first three notes of my song begins to play. The audience cheers and hoots, screaming at the top of their lungs. I don't even have the energy to smile at them. The sun has just started to set, but it's dark enough to turn on the streaks of blue light. I wish I asked for the microphone attached to a headset instead of the one I have to lift up to my mouth.