Random stuff I think about and do In 2022

Thursday August 4th 1:48 am

I used to do a ton of rants n stuff in these updates as some of y'all know but honestly I don't know what much to say about life anymore. Ig I'll just rant for a bit and i'm not expecting anything I just have a few things to say

where do I start lmfao 😭

Ok so if you have read my previous updates and journals yk that like so many people I struggle with mental health and it's unfortunate that so many people like me have to go through this struggle. In fact I can't name a single person in my life who doesn't.

ANYWAYS

I'm short i'm just so tired. I feel mentally exhausted from so many things and I have little to no motivation for half the things I want to do and knowing that I have to go back to school in like five weeks with all the classes I chose for this year only stresses me out.

I went through another HUGE dark spot this year and I don't think i mentioned it too much. I was bad and then it gos worse when someone I knew committed. HERES THE THING I didn't even know them that well, They were a current member of a group I was joining and I only got to know them a bit before they died but the thing is that I knew I would have been able to call them "family" by the end of this year because in reality this little group of us is a great group of friends and it's like our own little family of people who all love doing the same thing that will be together for years. And I know I didn't know them well but seeing how their death affected everyone around them knowing I had thought about the same thing killed me. Seeing how he always looked so composed and organized and happy but in reality he was in the lowest point of his life killed me. And then I got in a lower point with some other close relationships and old wounds started opening up and I kept telling myself that the only reason I wasn't going through with it was because I didn't want my family to have to go through what his had to. I was at the funeral, I felt the emotions of everyone in that room. And I cried for him and his family because even though I might not have known him that well, his story broke me. I found out at the beginning of the school day too. I still think about him a lot too which is bizarre.

My step dad is an asshole. that's all there is to it.

Mental health is a bitch
ALL politicians are bitches (please don't take offense to that I just don't like any politicians and don't run with any political party since I don't believe any of them actually care about usand only want power and money if you want to talk more on this or other controversial topics DM me i'm always up for civil conversation :) )
Pain is a bitch
Burnt toast is a bitch

It feels like the summer just began
And the thought of being stuck in a boring 9-5 terrifies me

I just want to forever nap
not necessarily death atm but I just want to sleep till i'm not exhausted yk?

There's more I could say abt life but I don't feel like typing it

ANYWAYSSSSS

I love Anne Hathaway sm it's annoying like why does she have to be so amazing?

and why does she have to be married :,(

IIIIIIIIIII WANNAAA SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINH FROM THE CHANDALIEEEEEEEEEEEER FROM THE CHANDALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIR

goodnight
or
good morning