careful and cool, they tore us apart like a hurricane • seungjin

PART V

V.

It was Sports Day and Hyunjin was sitting on the bleachers in the field next to Felix and Jisung as they watched another soccer game go on. "Hyunjin, do you think Seungmin's okay?" Jisung asked. "It's been a while since I've seen him."

Hyunjin dismissed him immediately. "He's fine. You know he's an introvert. He doesn't like big gatherings so much."

"No," Felix had said. "It's not about Sports Day, Hyunjin. His rank's been dropping. We're going to be seniors soon. He has to get back up. I don't think he's even submitted any proje—"

"Shut up!" Hyunjin exclaimed. "Look, Felix, I know you're the new number one and you've been maintaining your awesome grades ever since you moved here but you don't know Seungmin like I do. He knows what he's doing, and you don't even really care! Only I did! So stop pretending that you do!" The words came out a little too harsh. Hyunjin hadn't meant it, but it was too late. Felix had gotten up and walked away, leaving Jisung stuck in choosing between Felix and Hyunjin. But as soon as he stood up, Hyunjin knew the answer. After all, nobody really chose him. Only Seungmin did.

After that, he and Felix had always been at each other's necks, shoving each other in the hallway, making nasty remarks about the other at every opportunity. Jisung just let it happen in front of him, not being able to choose between his two close friends. But Hyunjin always knew Jisung had Felix's back. He didn't need Jisung anyway. He was just another popular kid like him, trying to get through high school at the top of the chain. Because that was where the three of them belonged. A tier in the school system where no one could touch them, where nothing mattered.

Then Hyunjin noticed that his old ways started coming back. He even punched walls now when the anger seemed to be too much. The main person he always fought with was Felix, the latter still angry and frustrated that Hyunjin had called him out like that that day. But Felix wasn't angry because what Hyunjin said wasn't true. He was angry because it was, and that Hyunjin had noticed.

Hyunjin came by Seungmin's house that day after a cafeteria fight with Felix, lip bleeding and arms bruised from the punches and the kicks. Felix was not an amateur at fights. He had a black belt in taekwondo. And Hyunjin thought, maybe it was one of the reasons people loved Felix.

And that day, Seungmin asked him again. "What happened?" And it happened again like deja vu, Hyunjin telling Seungmin what happened that day as he got cleaned up in Seungmin's bathroom. He didn't know the reason why Felix and Hyunjin hated each other so much, but he was afraid to ask.

"You're both just not over a fight that happened," Seungmin said. "I know people don't listen to you, but I'm here. I will. But Jinnie, I know you're better than that, okay? You don't have to keep doing this to yourself. Draw things instead of punching walls."

And Seungmin was hugging Hyunjin tightly that day, like he didn't want to let go. And when he pulled away, Hyunjin saw the tears flowing down Seungmin's cheeks. He then told Hyunjin that it hurt him to see Hyunjin fighting with everyone, to see him hurt himself because of other people. He told him that Hyunjin didn't deserve the pain he was feeling because Hyunjin always, always bottled up all his anger inside him. And that Hyunjin was all he ever had, that Hyunjin was the only person who really cared for him and liked him for who he was, not because he was his father's son. And that Seungmin didn't want Hyunjin to be angry anymore. He had seen enough anger in his life, and Hyunjin shouldn't add to it.

That was another similarity between the two. Both had cared for each other not because of what people labeled them as, but as who they really were. But differences always stood out more than similarities.