Chocolate Robots (Death Note Oneshots)

Neglected

Neglected

Not any proper pairings, but a little bit of MelloxNear, a hint at MelloxMatt, and a total fail of MattxMisa.

This is what happens when I visit a chocolate factory.

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Matt was about to go into the kitchen for a drink when he paused.

Where were Mello and Near? Surely they weren't in the same room, or there would most likely be a blood trail leading him to them.

However, Matt's question was soon answered by voices in the kitchen.

"OH MY GOD NEAR! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!!"

Matt cringed, stepping away from the kitchen door. Suddenly, he wasn't very thirsty. Of all places, why the kitchen? Not very sanitary at all. He managed to get back to his room before bursting into tears.

Matt was both annoyed and confused as to why he had reacted like this. Sure, he had had a crush on Mello for years now, but wasn't that all it was? Some stupid crush?

Matt should be happy that Mello had found someone. Even if it was Near, though it hardly made any sense. Shouldn't Mello be attempting to decapitate Near with a kitchen knife, instead of...

Matt immediately shoved a pair of headphones on, turning the volume up to maximum and started playing on his DS.

A few minutes later, Matt was cleaning blood from his ears, thinking of another way to distract himself that didn't involve damaging his hearing. Then, out of the blue, an idea struck him.

He would visit Misa.

It's not like she had committed suicide or anything after Light's death. Nope. She just liked to go to the roof of her apartment building to think sometimes.

Matt needed some cheering up from someone. Sure, he didn't really know Misa. Well, she didn't really know him. But after stalking her for a while (which Matt did purely for Mello's benefit) Matt knew of her absolute devotion to Light, and reckoned she could do with some cheering up too.

Misa Amane opened the door. Her make up was smudged; the tear stains on her face painfully obvious. Matt smiled upon seeing her. Of course, that had nothing to do with the fact that her now shoulder length blonde hair looked just like Mello's.

"Who... Who are you?"

"Uhh... Hi. My name is Matt, I was, a, uh... Friend. Of Light. Yeah, we got to know each other really well. Then he... Well, died."

"Oh... Okay... Why are you here?"

Misa sniffed dramatically, and Matt had to restrain a snort of laughter.

"Oh... Uh... Just to... You know... Say hi. And uh... Well... Talk? About... Stuff?"

Misa bought it completely, completely letting her guard down and inviting him inside. Matt pondered if such a thing as a negative number of brain cells existed.

They sat awkwardly on the sofa, sipping their tea. They ran out of small talk a while ago, and had resorted to making their refreshments last as long as possible to make up for the unabundance of conversation.

"So... About Light..."

That seemed to do it. Misa exploded with things about Light, how she missed him, how she feels so empty without him, pausing now and then to sob on Matt's shoulder.

Matt was getting bored. Like, really bored. This wasn't what he needed. Misa was halfway through a speech about how soft and glossy Light's hair was when Matt had a 'sudden' urge to make her shut up.

And everyone knows the only acceptable way to shut a celebrity singer slash actress slash model up is to kiss them. Which is exactly what Matt did.

He regretted it immediately. The red sparkly lipgloss was disgusting, nothing like Mello's soft pink lips. Or at least how Matt imagined Mello's soft pink lips.

But Misa seemed insistent in carrying on. So Matt shut his eyes and carried on kissing her, trying to imagine it was Mello. It worked, after a while.

He reached up to caress Mello's flat, hard, muscular chest... Wait, what are these bumps? Ew. No.

"Matt..."

Matt longed for Mello's deep, smooth voice, but all he got was this insistent high pitched squawking. What a great distraction...

Matt opened his eyes.

"I'm gay!"

Those two words were all he managed to say before bolting out of the door, leaving a very disappointed Misa behind.

He got back to the apartment he shared with the other two successors, walking straight to his room. Though he hadn't expected Mello to be there.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"I-"

"You KNOW we have a case to be working on. You KNOW we need to get it solved before more people die. So WHY are you running around, wasting time?"

"Misa--"

"Misa? You were with Misa? Why the fuck were you with Misa?"

Matt almost smiled, but caught himself just in time. Being a genius had it's benefits. Along with the general annoyance, he managed to catch a slight undertone of jealously in Mello's voice. Maybe he was just imagining things...

He took a deep breath, and explained everything to Mello, including what he heard in the kitchen and about his long time crush on him.

Mello stared at him for a moment, before bursting into peals of laughter. By the time he stopped, he was in tears of mirth.

"Me and NEAR? Dude, that is fucked up."

He kissed Matt on the cheek before walking out of the room, not even bothering to explain.

A few days later, Matt couldn't take it. He had HEARD Mello and Near-- well, just Mello, but Near was definitely in there too. He went to Near and asked for an explanation to the noise in the kitchen.

"I purchased Mello a chocolate fountain and some fruit. I do not wish to be on bad terms with him, so I was hoping this gift would help us to bond. I also volunteered to apply the chocolate to the fruit for Mello, but he didn't think it suitable that I simply cover the fruit in one layer of chocolate. In fact, he insisted that I keep going and going and going... He got a little overexcited about it."

Matt knew just what he was going to do with that chocolate fountain.