The Adventures Of Brief Shadow

Attack of the Living Cakes

"Ah, the only thing sweeter than justice is the smell of freshly baked cake!" Winston thought to himself as we walked into his favourite bakery, Swirls 'n Spirals. He looked over the goods and smiled when he saw his favourate cake in stock, Black Forest. He was practically drooling at the sight.

"Excuse me." He asked the cashier. "How much for a slice of Black Forest?" Thr barista smiled took the cake out from the display case. "That is 2.99, would you like to add a dollar dollar charity?"

"You bet I would!" Winston said with a smile. He was happy to help people, directly and indirectly. Before the barista could cut a slice into the cake, a man with pink hair and a cherry on his head burst through the door. "Stop!" He yelled, diving behind the counter and pinning the barista to the floor, knocking the knife out of his hand. "You almost hurt him!"

Winston just stared at the strange man. "Um, almost hurt who?" The pink haired man stood up and pointed at the cake. "Gabriel of course!" He said, petting the cake. Winston tilted his head. This guy needed some serious help. "Gabriel huh?" He mused.

"Hiya!" The cake suddenly said. Winston jumped and rubbed his eyes. His Black Forest cake, the one he wanted to eat, had grown a face and limbs! "What the!? How'd you do that!?" He asked bewildered. "Hmm? Oh I'm a cake golem. I can give pastries life! My name's Cakie by the way."

Winston blinked. "A... cake golem? You just look like a regular human with pink hair." Cakie glared at him. "No! I am not a human! I can regenerate limbs! Watch." Cakie grabbed the knife and sliced off his arm

Winston shrieked. "Y-you just cut off your arm!" He exclaimed. It soon hit him that he cut his arm way too easily, and there was no blood coming out. "Watch this. Ngh!" Cakie grunted as a new arm sprouted. It was completely identical to the one on the floor. Winston was completely gobsmacked. "Wha- how- that is so cool..." He muttered.

"I know, anyways as much as I love talking about how cool I am, I have a city to take over." Cakie pointed at Winston. "Cakelings! Raid this place and save your brethren!" From behind him a dozen of living cupcakes, cinnamon rolls, brownies and other pastries jumped out and began putting the inanimate sweets into a bag.

Winston watched as the cakelings raided the entire bakery. He snapped out of his trance and quickly ran put of the bakery. "Heh, wimp." Cakie muttered as he regained focus on pilfering.

"Stop right there criminal!" Calie turned to the entrance and saw a strange caped man with no pants on. "Who are you? Did you lose your pants or is this some weird fashion style I'm not aware of?"

Brief Shadow cleared his throat. "I am Brief Shadow, this is my uniform, why does everyone keep asking me this?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, I am here to stop you!" He announced, taking a step into the bakery before getting stopped by a pair of pretzels.

"Um, pardon me guys, I gotta get to the bad guy." The pretzels stayed in place long enough for a macaron to jump on him and cover his face. "Hey! I can't see!" He yelped.

"Great job Marco! Everyone get in!" Cakie exclaimed and all the cakelings began jumping back into the bag. Brief Shadow realized what was happening and grabbed Marco, throwing him into a wall.

Cakie watched in horror as the poor macaron was thrown from the cruel hero. He caught him right before he hit the wall. "Phew. What is wrong with you!?" He yelled at the hero, who just looked a tad guilty. "I-I wasn't thinking straight! I'm sorry Marco!" He apologized, but Marco just turned away from him scared. "So, it's gonna be like that huh?" Cakie said shooting a blast of frosting from his hands, coating the hero in a sticky substance.

"Wh-what the!?" Brief Shadow exclaimed as he tried to move, to no avail. "Hehe, smell ya later loser!" Cakie laughed. Brief Shadow quickly unstuck himself and ran after Cakie, slipping into the shadows and reappearing in front of the villain. "Out of the villains I've faced, you've really taken the cake." Brief Shadow laughed.

Cakie just shook his head. "Please, just stop with the jokes." He dropped the bag and a trio of cupcakes hopped out. "Jack, James and Jeremy, bring that bag to the safe house, I'll deal with this guy!" The cupcakes nodded and began to carry the bag away. "Hey stop-" Brief Shaodw was interrupted by Cakie. "Now then, for throwing Marco, I'm gonna make this hurt!" Cakie exclaimed, rolling up his wristed revealing a beaded bracelet.

Brief Shadow watched confused as Cakie licked a bead. "Uh, what's that supposed to do..." He muttered as Cakie's pink hair turned orange and his right arm turned into a drill. "Carrot power!" Cakie announced, spinning his drill and charging at Brief Shadow, who dodged it easily.

"Guess I knew the drill on what to do there! Ha ha!" He joked, making Cakie groan. "Please, quit it with the jokes." He sighed, his hair turning back to its natural pink. He raised his wrist again and licked a different bead. This time his hair turned a strong green, and his arms turned into a long bludgeons. "Cucumber power!" He announced, swinging his pillar arms at the hero.

Brief Shadow managed to jump over the first arm, but got clocked over the head by the other. He was knocked into a wall and fell onto the floor. "Ugh, those arms are very, cu-cumbersome y'know." He joked.

"Grrr. Shut up! You're not funny!" Cakie snapped, licking another bead. This time his hair turned a bright white and he began to vibrate quickly, his arms having been returned to normal. "Sugar power!" He yelled, running directly in front of Brief Shadow in the blink of an eye.

Before the hero could notice, his briefs were over his head in a flash, giving him whiplash. "Wh-what!? Such speed!" Brief Shadow exclaimed, falling over. Before he could hit the ground Cakie grabbed him and ran to the a nearby public washroom, kneeling him over a toilet.

Brief Shadow gulped. "Wait Cakie please do-" He was interrupted when the evil cake golem dunked his head in the toilet, making sure not to get wet himself. He brought him up for air, which was wasn't long as he dunked him back in. "That's what you get you cakeling thrower!" He spat, leaving Brief Shadow in the toilet. He licked the sugar bead again and ran out, presumably to his hideout.

Brief Shadow groaned as he laid there, head wet and underwear stretched to infinty. "I just wanted a slice of cake..."

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(Hey guys! Massive shoutout to @ CakeLordDork on Twitter, he a real treat to talk to and like with everyone else, give them a follow. Well until next time, stay safe and stay wedgied!)