The Shake up

Untitled Part 3

Matthew entered their bedroom to find Mary sobbing into her pillow. "Oh,My darling, Whatever is the matter?"
" I was just speaking to Mama and she is so happy and I felt awful that I couldn't be happy for her too! I'm so jealous Matthew. I don't want to be but I am!"
He held her close. " could you explain why feel jealous?"

I don't know, Maybe It's because she's been The Countess of Grantham for so many years and I thought I could still be but now she's pregnant my chance could be gone again. I hate feeling like this when I was little I knew it wouldn't happen since I wasn't going to inherit anything. Then it was arranged for me to marry Patrick. When he died, I accepted it then you came, I threw it all away for a time and now we're married and were back on shaky ground. I don't know. I suppose I'm jealous of Mama. I can't be happy for them. I know it's wrong but I want to be happy."

"You can't be happy with George and I? Who's to say you need the Abbey to be happy? I love you and will do all in my power to make you happy, my beautiful darling. Can't that be enough?"

"It should be, I know, but I'm terrible with emotions, so much like my Papa."

"While I do like him," he said. "I think I'd prefer you more like Cora."

She stared at him in shock.

"Oh no! As in being female only, nothing like that. Goodness, Mary!"

Mary laughed at the blush in his cheeks. She gave him a kiss just as Anna entered. Matthew got up to get ready in his dressing room.

Anna smiled as Mary sat down. "Were you able to speak with Lady Grantham today?"

"Oh, Anna, I acted like such a spoiled brat towards her! I felt horrible. All she wants is to make His Lordship happy by giving him a son and I can tell she feels guilty that she hasn't but I still complained to her that I won't be the next Countess if she has a son. Now she's feeling guilty for that. "

"I don't know that she needs to feel guilty about any of it but I'm not her. She knows how much His Lordship loves you all even he can't find the words. they both show it through action. I was so very impressed with lady Grantham while dealing with Pamuk.

"Oh I know! thought she'd never get over it!"

Anna finished Mary's hair then left to help Edith.

Mary met Matthew you in the hall. He took her hand and they went down to the drawing room.  Isobel, Dickie, and Bertie were there for dinner. It would probably be the last big event for them since Mama was well into her 8th month and the size of a small motor, not that she said it to her since she was very sensitive about it. Mary wondered if she were going to get two siblings at once but Clarkson didn't seem to think so.