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POV of person who hurt friend
Dear River,
I know you don't want to hear from me. Or you won't anyway. I know after everything I've put you through we will never talk again. I'm moving and so are you and the last days of high school are between us which means I won't be able to even see you again. I know it's been so long since we talked but today was the last day I'll see your face. I know you can't stand to look at mine.
But knowing I was breaking your heart was better than if you knew the truth. I told lies to you and I was mean to you and lie after lie it was still better. Better than if you knew.
I didn't want to lie about that summer. I told you it was a trip, to see my friends upstate. And it was. It was supposed to be. Everything was really so different from the FaceTimes and snapchats we sent each other. I told you everything was really fun in Pittsburg, everything was fine. It wasn't. I told you about summer romances. Parties. Anything good.
Everything was bad. And even I couldn't hide it from you forever. Even when we were hours apart. As he got worse and worse and worse. I almost couldn't lie anymore. But I couldn't give in.
See he was there. The friend of a friend's brother. Or rather, the best friend of my mutual. Your ex.
He wouldn't leave me alone. He would threaten himself, show me marks on his skin, he wouldn't threaten me. Then the harassment turned differently. He began complimenting me and I almost began to like him until I drank too much and he was on me. He told me he has photos of you, photos that would make you dead. And if I didn't stop talking to you, he would show the world.
So I did. I would do everything he said. Until the day, one year later, he just stopped. He stopped calling, stop driving the hours down to Phili. Then I found out he had stopped altogether.
I tried to go back to you but it was too late. I had broken everything. So I told you the truth. How all the awful things I had done were to keep you safe from the truth, the treat lingering over your head.
But I was all too good at lying.
Even my apology seemed fake to you after I told you the truth.
But now, this is the last day I will see you. Because its the last day of school. And I won't even be able to know if you're safe. I won't be able to see you in English class. At least to know you're alive. Because maybe the next time I come for summer break, you won't be in town.
So I'm sorry, I know the truth doesn't help anymore. Everything is a lie to you.
