La Fille Fraçaise

too close

'Hey' I heard a sleely quiet voice saying while her face was still blurred slowly focusing.
'Hey' I replied while the warm palm of one hand cupped my cheek making me close my eyes instantly.
The sensation of heat radiated through my skin making me feel an emotion in my chest burning like a blazing fire as soft lips rested on mine in a sweet kiss.
I wrapped my arm around the hips of Sabrina's figure covered only by the white blanket that stood out her dark hair as she walked flush to me stopping the kiss and resting her forehead on mine as her thumb continued to rub in small circles on my cheek.

I woke up with a ray of sunshine hitting my face directly as the heat it radiated felt almost like the palm of a hand was on my cheek and for once I felt safe.
I believe, however, that I dreamt of her that night;
the warm palm of her hand lightly stroking my face as she gently rubbed her thumb against my cold skin.
But after all ... it disappeared the instant I opened my eyes, almost cursing that I had woken up from that dream that seemed to be more real than expected.
I took a deep breath placing my forearm above my head to stop the sun rays that were slowly seeking me.
<fuck> I thought.
But in an instant I remembered that she was right in the next room and for a second I was tempted to go to her but the rational part left of me prevented me from doing any stupid action.
I took my robe and slowly got up trying not to make too much noise since any noise could be heard in that empty and cold house. I started reflecting on the fact that maybe I had wasted my only chance with her but still I had no idea what I could do so I preferred to let it go and wait for the right moment, now we were friends and she was my only friend I would not have wanted to spoil for no one in the world that bond that was slowly uniting us.
I couldn't stop thinking about the sensation I had felt in my stomach while dreaming of our kiss;  a horde of butterflies flitting around as my heartbeat traveled at exorbitant speed, surprising even myself.
I arrived to kitchen quietly as I started making breakfast absently thinking about how lucky I was to meet this mysterious girl who over time was opening up to me and letting me know her, making me understand that it was not something she did often and I feel almost privileged to be one of the few people could do it.
'Good morning' I suddenly heard saying from behind me which made me jump and turn quickly to see the almost angelic figure of Sabrina that was radiated by the sun's rays which penetrated through the kitchen window and this almost stopped my breath.
'Oh god, hi' I said trying to breathe dramatically putting my left hand on chest.
She laughed, making a musical sound that boomed in my ears, not wishing I could hear anything else.
'I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you,' she said, giggling again at my reaction.
I moved the plate of hot chocolate waffles in the direction of her seat at the table when I saw her eyes light up.
'This looks good,' she said sitting down
'Oh it is' I said and took a cup making my "special" tea.
'What is it?' She asked me curiously looking at my cup.
'Oh it's just tea' I said taking a sip.
I had a secret, I was almost obsessed with the taste of alcohol and I couldn't stop drinking it despite having tried it several times with no avail.
'Hm' she said, suspiciously raising an eyebrow.
After a couple of sips I could already feel the alcohol darken my veins and release more serotonin than it actually already released by the woman sitting in front of me in a fit of courage puts my hand on hers on the table as I saw her gaze meet mine my blood suddenly froze.
Her eyes were something indescribable, not even the best of artists could have captured such a marvel.
'Oh umh' I said laughing slightly, confused by the effect of the alcohol.
'Wasn't that tea hm?' Sabrina said, giggling.
'Maaaaybe' I said getting up, wobbling slightly under Sabrina's attentive gaze as we place both hands on the armrests of her chair.
'Oh?' She said surprised, looking straight into my eyes first and she moved her gaze slightly to my lips.
At that moment I think it was the courage that had given me that drink I had been sipping, strangely stronger than usual, but I lunged forward almost to kiss her until I realized my mistake the moment she walked away and I left. he immediately repented.
'Oh Marie ..' Sabrina said moving slightly farther, placing her hands on my chest looking into my eyes.
'Oh shit, I'm sorry,' I told her realizing what I was doing.
'I ...' She stopped 'I should go now' She quickly got up from her chair and took her jacket and in a second she was already out the door while I still had to understand what had really happened.
For a moment it felt like a dream, more like a nightmare where I, once again, had ruined everything.
So I let myself fall on the sofa, without strength, helpless as I tried to process the latest events by blaming myself, while the terror of having lost the most important person in my life assailed me.