The Fade of the Mimosas

Waffle House Love

"God Dammit Lilly!! Why are you the way you are?? Why do you choose to fight me on everything, it is like you are born to do this? You were put on this Earth to make my life so fucking hard, I am sure of it" Lincoln shouts through my air-pod.

I have walked up and around our beautiful mansion style home with cathedral style ceilings, light that pours from every single window, and a view of Lake Michigan, as he shouts at me. It is the only thing that keeps me grounded. These are the only three things I asked for when Lincoln demanded that he built this house for us. This house was the first of everything for us.

Lincoln is a prestigious civil law lawyer in Grand Rapids, MI. When we first met, at University of Michigan, we hit it off without a crack in the wind. I felt the flutters in my stomach when he called or texted, even if we had just spoken an hour before. I was all consumed by him. But my favorite phone calls were randomly in the middle of the night, insisting that I go with him on a chicken and waffles date. We would sit in front of each other at Waffle House for hours, and I would memorize the small crevices in his face, his beautiful brown bouncing curls, emerald-- green eyes, and a smile that could kill. God—the way he smiled at me could get me to do anything and everything for him. We made it a weekly event, meeting everything Thursday at 11 PM. After the third date, I knew in my heart that he was my forever. I would fight for our love until the end of time. I committed myself to him and no one else. When my friends started noticing that I was spending more time with him and less time with them, it was difficult to say the least. While we were young and in love, I knew that he was my forever. I was not willing to lose him over anything. I lost several friends during the first six months of mine and Lincoln's relationship.

He proposed to me at that same Waffle House, in front of the butter yellow and black Waffle House sign, the smell of maple syrup filling the room. "My sweet Lilly, my girl. You have been the one since I first laid eyes on you..." he started as he got down on one knee in front of the cheap little claw machine, filled with stuffed bears and beanie babies from 1999. "I remember you being the talk of the town at Michigan State. Every man on that campus wanted a piece of Lilly Pike. There was no way I was ever going to let that happen. I needed you to be mine, and I am so glad you gave a me, the argumentative and strong-willed boy Manistee Michigan, a chance." I looked down at him, tears forming in my eyes faster than I could keep up. "I want to spend the rest of my life taking you to the Waffle House on Thursday's, and taking our kid's to the Waffle House. Will you marry me?" I did not hesitate with my answer, "Yes Lincoln. You can take me to the waffle house for forever."

We were 20 then and God were we so fucking in love. The weight of the world had not crashed down on us yet. There was so much optimism and hope within hugs that we gave each other. There were no stressors or aggressions.

Now, I sway up and down these hallways, stopping in front of my favorite window, staring blankly as the crystal blue waters of Lake Michigan calmly splash against the beach. It is so pure, so innocent, so still. I hold onto any memory that I can, but for some reason our Waffle House memory is my saving grace. "Lilly, are you fucking listening to me? Do not be so selfish Lil. What about me? What about how hard I work to provide for YOU. When do I get a fucking break?" He barks at me, but I have learned not to respond to his antics as often anymore. "The only thing you do is sit on your ass at the home that I gave to you, eat the food that I buy for you, and take care of our daughter. That is literally your only job. I do not understand how someone who does not lift a finger needs to have a break from this lavish life that you take such advantage of" he says in the world's most condescending tone. I know that when gets like this it is not him talking. I mean it is, but it isn't. I think back to Waffle House Lincoln and how care-free we are. I try to give perspective to his stressors and what is currently challenging him.