My Life Upside Down

Chapter Eight

My heart pounded.

My hands were clammy.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Ida."

It was all I had the strength to say. I couldn't believe that she was here. Even if I could, why? Why had she come all this way? To torture me with a ghost.

"Sit down," Mom's voice made me turn my head. She was smiling, "Have some tea."

I sat down on the only other free chair in the room, but I didn't make a move to take some tea. There was no way I could've put anything in my stomach and not hurled.

"You look well." Ida's eyes were becoming wet, "How is your senior year going?"

I shrugged, "I'm getting through."

Ida looked down at her mug, running her thumb back and forth along the rim.

"I'm sorry that you're not enjoying it as much as I'm sure you would've liked." Ida turned her attention to me, "I know my James only wanted your happiness."

The name cut through me like a knife. Tears stung the backs of my eyes as I tried to keep my composure.

"I know," I whispered.

I looked over at my parents who both had sadness etched into their features. It must've been hard for them, having a killer for a daughter. I didn't know how Ida could look me in the face and exchange pleasantries like we were still some level of friends.

"It's homecoming season. Are you going?"

Instantly I thought of Andrew and how he had just asked me; the familiar wave of guilt crashed over me. I felt like I was drowning in it. I kept searching for the surface, but I couldn't get there. I was running out of air, I...

"Rori!" Mom's concerned voice called after me as I bolted for the bathroom.

I hugged the toilet as all the food I had eaten forced its way out. My throat burned as I reached for the sink to splash some water on my face. There was a gentle knock on the door.

"Darlin'?"

Dad.

"Yeah?"

"Can I get you somethin'?" He asked.

James.

"No," I answered, tears began to flow out of my eyes, "I'll be okay."