Destination; As far way from you as possible

Goodbye NYC

Many people would argue that running away isn't the answer, that you can't possibly outrun your problems, and putting up a fight and seeing things through is what you should always do, of course, Cari knew this, She's heard it from her parents, friends, and her therapist about a million times.

Now we can all agree it wouldn't be "Cari fucking Fletcher" if she wasn't a coward who took the easy way out, running and not putting up a fight was easier. If she was half away across the country the distance and time would heal all her wounds, but right now she doubted anything could heal the all too consuming pit in her stomach.

Looking around her apartment and seeing the empty walls, the ones that used to be filled with photographs and memories are now a visual representation of how her heart felt at the moment, empty and missing the source of warmth it used to have, unlike her bags which were filled to their maximum capacity "something she might have a problem with at the airport" she needed everything worth taking with her she's sad her ex is not one of those things.

Cari used to love New York City, she always dreamt of living there and it's one of the main reasons she chose NYU to begin with. little did she know one of the most iconic cities in the U.S. would show her haven and hell within the course of a few years, but what is your first love if not a rollercoaster of emotions with a catastrophe almost deadly ending ahead?

Stepping outside in the bitter cold of winter with too many bags and a broken heart in tow. She stops the all too familiar yellow taxi she's become so used to. Being very thankful the South-Asian-looking driver came out to help her load her bags in the trunk, once inside he looked at her with brown eyes filled with what looked like understanding and pity;

"Where to?" he asked in a very thick accent.

I was thinking so hard that I almost missed the question

"To JFK please, terminal 4," I said.

I naively thought I could make it to the airport without having a breakdown, they seem to keep getting worse with each passing day, I'm proud of myself for going against wearing any makeup or the sleeves of my cream-colored hoodie would be ruined like the others I had to throw away, those stains where never coming off. Getting out of the car I thank whatever entity is out there for the way New Yorkers are when it comes to minding their own business because I couldn't handle the "Are you okay?" right now.

Arriving at the airport in the middle of the night feels a lot easier than people give it credit for, fewer people travel at this time and if I'm lucky enough there won't be any crying or loud kids, I know I'm being a hypocrite right now since I most likely won't be able to stop crying myself, but to my defense, I can control the volume unlike them.

Check-in went smoothly for the most part, except for all the extra fees I had to pay. I was expecting those at least unlike the surprise of finding your ex-girlfriend cheating on you in the bed you both sleep in every night on your 3rd anniversary, which I wasn't expecting, but let's not think about that right now I would like to be sitting on my seat preferably with no one next to me before I have the 8th break down of the day.

Going through security checks without a hitch thanks to no bags, I hate traveling with a carry-on and how it can be very awkward getting or putting your bag on the overhead without help and asking for help isn't something Cari Fletcher does. As I was walking and deciding what to drink since coffee and food are out of the question I haven't had much luck keeping down food and just the smell of coffee brings me to tears, it used to be our thing and I try to avoid thinking or doing anything that would trigger a memory but regardless of anything I do, the memories are on a loop in my head just replaying our story over and over again.

I stop at the little convenience store next to my designated gate of departure for an iced tea, I might not be able to handle coffee but I still need the caffeine or I might just pass out from the lack of sleep of not days but months. as I walk trying to find a seat away from everyone someone bumps into me, I almost go on full New Yorker mode on them when I looked up and saw the most captivating eyes I've ever seen a mixture of blue, green and grey, eyes you would willingly get lost in, she had an apologetic smile on and was also staring at my eyes and for the first time in months, I didn't see any pity in them...

"I am so so sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, I guess I was very distracted on my phone trying not to miss my flight again" she quickly said. even if her voice sounded very much out of breath and rushed it was a lovely voice, it sounded innocent and sweet.

"Don't worry about it, I've been there myself many times, I hope you make it tho" For whatever reason I couldn't stop looking at her. there was something about her, something I couldn't put my finger on but there was something there for sure.

"I will, thank you again for being so understanding" I just nodded my head and gave her a small smile one that somehow wasn't faked or forced like the many I had to give everyone lately, she returned the smile and walked away to the other side.

I went to sit down as far away from everyone as I could manage, putting on my AirPods, hoodie, and sunglasses, well aware I probably looked ridiculous right now but I couldn't be bothered with anyone, I wanted to be left alone with my feelings.

A while later I look up to see if boarding is going to happen any time soon and to my luck it is, desperate to be as far away from NYC and her as I possibly can. When I look down again I feel a pair of eyes on me and usually, I'm able to ignore it but something tells me I shouldn't. I look in that direction I feel someone is staring at me and see those beautiful eyes again but when she notices I'm looking at her, her cheeks go all red and she acts all shy and quickly averts her eyes down, I find it very whole interaction very amusing.

Before I can overthink the situation I hear the boarding call, and people start making a line to get inside, I get up and follow everyone to make the line, I check the pocket of my hoodie for my boarding ticket and look at the number of my seat 47A, I had requested a window seat I'm just glad it's in the back of the plane, now I just need to be lucky enough and have no one seating next to me.

As I walk through the overly narrow plane aisle to the back of the plane to find seat 47A, I notice there aren't many people on the flight in general which is a good thing, nothing worse than crying your eyes out in front of an audience. I get to my row and see there is no one there and feel very relieved.

I sit down next to the window and immediately open the window shade to look outside, a few minutes go by and just when I think I got away with having the three seats on the row to myself I feel someone sitting right next to me in the middle seat, before I look at my inconvenient plane mate I can smell their perfume, there is something sweet and very calming about it, as I look up I see the same shy smile I saw earlier and I can't help but return it.

"Hi again, I guess we are stuck with each other" She looked at me with wide eyes and a very scared but funny expression on her face as she realized her choice of words "I'm sorry I don't mean stuck like it's a bad thing or like I don't want to sit next to you or anything like that, I don't know why I said it like that," she says all this without taking a breath and notices she's starting to mumble "I'm sorry for mumbling I don't know why I feel so nervous around you, I'm Shannon nice to meet you" she says and smiles.

I can't help but smile at how nervous she is and how cute she looks when she mumbles,

"Hi there, no worries I think it's cute" I then realize what I just said but I'm not taking it back, I'm being honest.

"I'm Cari, nice meeting you as well" I stretch my hand in her direction without thinking and she takes my hand in hers, I don't know what I was expecting but it was not the super soft and warm hand that seemed to fit perfectly in mine.