Diamond

Bullshit

I looked out the car window , as the trees flew by swiftly. I honestly didn't want to go back home. I missed my mom and my brother but not as much as I should have. I wanted to sniff again. My body craved for coke almost every minute of the day. I had been secretly sniffing lines of Justus coke, he hid up in the air vent of the hotel  bathroom. The night we came back from our date, when Justus had fallen asleep, I snuck into the restroom like a slithering, snake. I removed the plastic wrap from the white powder like an experienced  feen. This time sniffing an entire line up my nose. The feeling was unmatched. My body shook and tingled in delight. I did that a couple times throughout the night. Soon, over the next 4 days we stayed there, I did the same thing. Sniffing twice, to triple the amount each time. Whenever Justus went out for a moment, or was busy I somehow found a way to go to the bathroom and get my daily dose. The feeling was close to sex. When I sniffed coke it was like cumming over and over again for hours. Now I understood why tweakers hung out on corners begging for change, to get their next fix. This feeling was addicting and unexplainable. "You remember our story" Justus spoke ,knocking me from my thoughts. " I remember everything Justus, I'm just scared my mom won't believe me , and my brothers not going to go for this bullshit ass story" I said nervously. " Shit he gone believe you, you just gotta be convincing, tell the story like you believe it yourself, word for word ." He said calmly. I took a deep breath trying to remember every detail we went over together. I had lost even more weight from sniffing coke, on top of everything else and I knew my people probably wasn't gone go for the story me and Justus came up with. But there was no other choice. I looked damn near a hundred pounds lighter than when they last saw me and my mindset had definitely changed. They wouldn't believe me at all. " Just be confident D, yo life depended on this shit, and so does mine." Justus said approaching my street. He kissed me for a minute , making my cheeks hot. I looked at him trying to communicate my anxiety through my eyes. He looked at me blankly, throwing me off guard. " Justus ..... can I have another sniff of your stuff , just to calm my nerves  before I go in?" I said out of nowhere ,surprising myself. Justus looked confused for a moment, scrunching his eyebrows together , before running his thick hand down his face as if stressed. I never saw him stressed before. He nodded his head hesitantly, causing me excitement inwardly. My body lit up with expectancy. I was damn near foaming at the mouth, as I watched him lean to the backseat and reach into his bag. He held a small bag of coke in his hand and handed it to me unknowingly. I took a small amount out of the pouch and made a line on the dashboard.I sniffed it up without a second thought. My mind blanked for a second before I got that amazingly feeling I was searching for. Justus looked at me worriedly before I quickly hopped out of his car with my small bag of things and walked towards my apartment. I was walking on clouds. I could smell the barbecue in the air as my Jordan's pounded against the pavement. I wanted to be in this moment forever. I used my key to unlock the door . It felt like I was moving in slow motion. I walked into the hallway immediately smelling my moms famous fried chicken. I looked around and my mom was in the kitchen hovered over the stove as she picked the crispy , wings from the pot of piping hot oil. I could tell my brother wasn't home, as she had on her bra and some daisy dukes. "Mom" I weakly said . The tv was playing the news loudly, but I knew she could hear me . She whipped around quickly, almost in disbelief. She dropped the fork she had in her hands , and then covered her mouth. "Diamond .. I ... Diamond where -." She couldn't get a full sentence out as tears ran down her face and she ran over to me. My body trembled as I smelled her perfume for the first time in a long time . "I thought you were dead baby." She cried into my ear . She held on to me for what seemed like forever . Then asked me a million questions at a time. I lied, telling her the story me and Justus had come up with. I knew she didn't believe me ,by the look on her face, but she had no other choice. She called my brother as I dug into the chicken she placed in front of me with a side of Mac n cheese. "Eliot get the hell over here right now, Diamond is back!" She explained with sad excitement. Eliot arrived 30 minutes later, bursting through the door out of breath, as if he had run there. "Where the  fuck have you been " he boasted angrily as he caught his breath. " What the hell happened to you D." He gasped looking over my body. "You look like you haven't eaten in years ." He continued looking horrified. "Eli... I just needed some time to myself, I wanted to feel like an adult ." I lied looking down at my half eaten plate . "Bullshit" he yelled , coming closer. " I know that nigga Justus got something to do with this shit" He spat , biting his lip pacing in front of me. " I haven't talked to him in a while, you know I was with Kacee Eliot." I pleaded hoping he believed me. A look of reason crossed his eyes. He wanted to believe me but he couldn't. My mom sat silently looking off into space. She was never the same after my dad died. She always floated off into daydreams when the shit hit the fan ,after he passed. Almost like she couldn't handle fucked up situations anymore. "We gone find out" Eliot promised as he jetted to his room and came out with a gun pointed down at his side. He looked maniacal. I looked to my mom , I wanted her to stop him , I wanted her to get it the fuck together and do something! Instead she just looked through my brother like a glass door. Eliot headed towards the entrance. I didn't even try to stop him , I knew my words would fall on deaf ears. " What the fuck is wrong with you Ruby, you're just going to let him stroll up out of here like that, you're so mothafuckin weak!" I screamed to my mom as she sat perched on the stool next to me. She jolted her face towards me , with a look of disturbance and vexation. I rarely saw my mom angry. "You think you can come up in here and talk to me  any ole way just because you've been on your own for a few weeks? Looking like a damn crackhead with no real explanation !" She took a breath before continuing in on me " I fucking wept for you , and looked for you with every last breath, I never stopped looking for you ,up until today , and you come in here talking to me like I'm not your damn mom, like I don't go to bat for you and always have your back. You're ungrateful !"     She spat. The look of venom in her eyes made me avert my attention to the floor. I didn't mean to scream at her or to even say what I said I was just so bewildered and on edge. " You think your hot shit huh ? Get the fuck out !" She screamed , making my eyes widen. "Mom , I- ." I sputtered. " Did I stutter ? Diamond get some of your shit and get the hell on, you can come back in a couple days I just can't deal with you right now." She said as she closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose, leaning against the kitchen sink. My eyes began to water. I wouldn't let her see me cry though , I still needed my dignity. I stomped to my room making sure I slammed every drawer ,I pulled my clothes out of. I began knocking shit off of my dresser and walls , I couldn't believe she was kicking me when I was down. If she knew half the shit I went through she would be singing a different tune. I suddenly punched the wall in the bathroom , causing pain to shoot down my knuckles and wrist. The cheap dry wall , shown a medium sized hole in it now. That felt good , I thought to myself rubbing my hand . I threw some cold water on my face , before patting it dry and looking for the rest of my things. Whipping out the new phone Justus purchased for me , I called him , no answer. Shit . I dialed Ambers number hoping I memorized it correctly. "What up who's this ?" Ambers sweet voice said through the phone. She had a pleasant voice but the mouth of a sailor. "Hello ? either speak up or get hung the fuck up on" Her attitude reared it's head , making me smile. I missed her. "Amber it's me , Um Diamond." I said lowly. " Diamond! Bitchhh, where the hell you been girl? what the fuck, last time I saw you ....well you know" She said hinting at the situation that went down the night of the party. "Diamond where did you go ? Are you okay ? You need me to come get you?" She said concerned . "Actually, yea come get me please . I'll tell you everything."  I whispered. "You still at yo mom?"she asked quickly. "Yea" . She hung up quick fast and in a hurry. She showed up not even 15 minutes later. My mom barricaded herself in her room , I guess so she didn't have to "deal" with me. "I met Amber at the door , I knew she would want to say hi to my moms and see how she was but I didn't have time for that shit. "Hi Di-  damn what you rushing for" Amber said as I pushed her back out the door and locked it behind us. "Diamond girl you been on a damn diet or what" Amber said looking me up and down. "Nah girl come on I'll tell you in the car" I said laughing at her, same old Amber. "So get to talking." She said immediately when we took off. "And don't give me no bullshit excuse either I need the truth baby." She said glancing over at me , then back at the road. "At the party ya know shit got crazy Amber. You saw what happened with Kacee and Justus right?" There was no sense in trying to lie to her she was there and saw the whole situation go down with her own two bifocaled  eyes. She nodded her head . "I saw they were getting heated and shit with each other  , but I left soon as Justus pulled out that gun, I mean he ain't shoot Kacee or nothing though right?" She said chuckling as if that was ridiculous. I looked down at my lap. I didn't know what to say. Justus told me not to trust anybody ! Not even Amber. What if her car was wired ? Or worse she knew everything and was working with the DEA and just needed a confession from me. I shook my head . Justus's crazy paranoid ways were getting to me.  Amber was my dawg, my girl, my sister if anything. She wouldn't do me like that. "Well" I said not giving an outright answer . Her eyes got enormous. "Justus? he - he killed your boyfriend !" She yelled . I could tell she was starting to freak out . "Look don't tell nobody." I grumbled, I was starting to regret telling her , she was giving snitch vibes. "And you protecting that nigga" she scowled as we stopped at a red light. She looked at me. "You barely know Justus and you picked him over a nigga that actually liked you." She boomed out. That stung. She thought she knew, but me and Justus bond was something fierce. I knew I would just sound naive trying to explain that to her. So I lied. "Me and Justus was never together and I don't even fuck with him girl, I'm just saying I don't want to get wrapped up in that type of shit. Murder is serious." I tried sounding more convincing. Amber rolled her eyes. " You can tell me every thing else later, I missed you but I did have a nigga that was suppose to come over in like an hour, you want me to ask if he got a friend so you not bored ?" She quizzed . " Yea that sounds cool" I didn't want her to get suspicious and plus I didn't want to be bored. It wasn't like I was going to fuck the nigga. We pulled up to her dads house, he was rarely home. Mr. Poach was always out wining and dining women or at a club. Ambers parents were divorced so she swapped houses every two weeks . I changed quickly upon our arrival .I didn't want to look bummy. I decided to wear my hair down in its curly form . I didn't feel like brushing through that thick jungle. I heard knocking on the front door as I slid on my Chanel slides , Justus  had gave me before he took me home . I walked down to the living room as Amber was just answering the door. A cute boy and his fine ass friend sauntered in. I could tell they were older by how they carried themselves. "Diamond this Derrick and his homeboy Chico." She cheesed from ear to ear and hugged Derrick . He was alright but Chico stood out , he was black but seemed to be mixed with hispanic or some sort , that wasn't usually what I went for. He had four braided plats in his head two in the front and back . They were thick and hung just to his broad shoulders. He stood at about 6 feet with a built physique. Not as solid and muscular as Justus but damn near. And his eyes, oh his eyes they were the most decadent shade of honey brown I had ever laid eyes on. His thick lips smiled at me as I drooled. After picking my jaw up off the floor I spoke. " Wassup my name Diamond." I said blushing as he walked to the couch . " I'll be right back" Amber yelled as she ran upstairs with Derrick right on her tail. Girl please go get that dick you not fooling me . I laughed inwardly. I sat down , and Chico sat right next to me. "You look familiar as fuck" his sexy , rich voice finally filled the air. " Shit what school you go to." I asked thinking maybe he saw me in passing before. He let out a genuine laugh. " I'm not in school lil mama , I look like a kid to you?" He said flirting. I let out a giggle. "Nah lowkey you look kinda young." I said teasing him. " I'm 21 I'll be 22 next month , how old is yo lil ass?" He asked making my knees quiver. His voice was doing unusual things to me. "I'm 20 I'll  be 21 in February." I lied . Well my birthday was in February. But I could tell if I told him any age below 18 he would have dipped immediately. Chico looked like the type to only fuck with females his age or shit at least considered legal by law. He nodded his head looking over my body and face  seductively.I didn't even know why I was entertaining him how I was , I almost forgot about Justus for a split second. "So what kind of name is Chico , that's your real name?" I said  holding back a laugh. He chuckled. "Yea that's my real name, my dad is Puerto Rican and my moms black, my dad named me if you couldn't tell." He said grinning with his glistening white teeth. I never met a man this fine. His face alone was making me choke on my own damn saliva. I could feel my pussy throbbing under my spandex shorts. " You fine than a mothafucka your damn self ." He said looking into my eyes as if he read my mind. My heart dropped to my ass. He sounded just like Justus for a minute there. I licked my lips I could feel them getting dry. "Want me to lick them for you." Chico said referring to my lips.  I was shook. This man was openly and unabashedly flirting with me now. And I secretly didn't want him to stop. I shifted in my spot on the couch. "You scared lil girl?" He taunted me playfully. His thick eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looked at me out the corner of his eyes. I shivered , hoping he didn't notice. "I'm not scared of shit" I said confidently , while slighting straightening my posture. He looked ahead of himself and spread his arms out across the back part of the couch. His cologne politely filled my nostrils , I wanted him to kiss me , fuck it I wanted him to do more than that . " You sure are looking hard" he lowly bellowed, licking the front of his top teeth with his mouth closed. A smirk appeared on his face. "There's a lot to look at " I responded , pulling my spandex shorts up higher . I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt shy around him. " Don't say shit like that , you know what you doin ." Chico smiled looking over at me again, this time down at my thick thighs spilling over the couch cushion. "With theses little shorts on" he seductively voiced licking his bottom lip. My pussy jumped  in anticipation. Chico pulled my leg onto his lap and ran his index finger from my ankle to my upper thigh , just barely missing my pussy  lips by an inch. "Is there any other rooms in this house?" He asked not skipping a beat. I  remembered  Mr.Poaches bedroom, and a guest room, but I knew the guest room didn't contain a bed yet or any furniture. "Yea let me show you" I said hesitantly. Before I knew it I was leading him to Mr. Poaches bedroom. His room looked like a bachelor pad ,everything was either matte black or polished black. I gave Chico a little tour and even showed him Poaches connected bathroom. "So what you want to come in here for ?" I inquired looking everywhere but at him , as I stood in front the bed. The lights were off , so all I could hear was him laughing. "You sure you 20?" He said stepping closer to me, I could feel his body heat at this point, but all I saw was darkness and the light from the hallway peeking under the door. "You sure you wanna know" I smartly responded. Damn it. Sometimes my smart mouth got the best of me. "Nah" he replied after thinking it over. He filled the space between us. I could sense  him staring at me even being blinded. "I just met yo ass 5 minutes ago, you really think I'm finna fuck you." I spoke putting my hands on my hips. I heard a swoosh in the air , then Chico abruptly bitch slapped me . I'd compare the sound to cracking a whip . The force of his slap caused me to fly backwards onto the bed. I was so baffled . This nigga could not have been human.  I held my cheek as it throbbed and stung. I wasn't only baffled because of the slap .   I was shook because I liked it. I felt Chico's weight on the bed . "You like that shit huh" his deep voice penetrated my ears. I blinked several times trying to force myself to speak but no words came out. Chico was hovering over me now, his knees on either side of my legs with his fists at the left and right of my boobs. " Fuck you been driving me crazy with them shorts on I could see your pretty little pussy through them and everything." He confessed , his warm breath in my face now. My cheeks were bright red I could feel them. "You like that freaky shit I can tell, I'm finna show you a real freak though." He whispered menacingly. He took my bottom lip into his hot mouth and swirled his tongue around it , before biting down. I'm sure he drew blood . I could taste it in my mouth. This man was rough as hell and crazy as fuck. Continuing on , he kissed my chin sloppily , then down the center of my neck until he reached my cleavage. My stomach was doing backflips. Chico stuck his long tongue in between my boobs for a millisecond before barking out orders. "Strip" he demanded. I began taking my shorts off . This was insane , I couldn't do this I was with Justus. My mind raced, as I knocked my sandals to the floor  in the process of yanking my shorts from my feet. My pussy was so wet I could feel the slick liquid pooling at the bottom of my ass cheeks .But guilt racked the back of my mind. I took my top off swiftly. Chico groaned out  before sliding my panties to the side and sticking his long fingers into my warmth . I yelped out in both pain and pleasure. His fingers were much larger than anybody I had been with , on top of that he had at least 4 fingers inside of me , I had never experienced that feeling . "Don't run" he said lowly into my ear , sliding his digits in and out of me. I bit down on my bottom lip relaxing my body. Pleasure started seeping throughout my soul. My moans filled the room until he stopped suddenly . I heard a belt jingle and pants rustling, then felt his bare legs on mine. The tip of his dick entered me slightly , making my pussy throb in excitement. Immediately there was a soft knock on the door. We both turned to look at the entrance in the dark . Another knock followed , "Diamond , girl come out here , your damn brother is here" Amber whispered from the other side. My heart practically lurched from my chest. I could feel sweat forming on my palms. Chico laughed before getting off of me and standing in front of the bed. I could hear him putting on his clothes . I rushed to the side of the bed and put my clothes on. Why the hell was Eliot even here? How did he know where I was?  "Ima stay in here lil mama , handle your business" Chico said just before I slightly opened the door and quickly shut it behind me. Eliot was standing in the kitchen with his gun now in his waistband , he had on a wife beater and his eyes were blood shot red, like he had been smoking. Amber must have told him some lie about what I was doing because there's no way he would be calm if he knew the truth. He didn't even turn to look at me as he spoke. "Diamond..... you got yourself into some shit didn't you." He spoke softly , which was scaring me. "Eliot how did you even know I was here? Actually why are you he- ."  Eliot cut me off,  "You really lied to my face for some sorry ass dumb ass nigga, your own blood?" He spat looking hurt. I looked down at the freshly mopped floor. "I been looking for the truth and I found it in the streets, niggas won't talk to cops , but they talked to me. They saying this nigga Justus murked Kacee ass right in front of you , and that you was on the run with him with your stupid ass." Eliot angrily spoke looking up to the ceiling for answers. I couldn't believe anyone knew the full story. The fact that Eli found that information in just a few hours was making me uneasy. "Eli I told you what really went down, you gone believe the streets over your sister? them are rumors ." I said confidently just like Justus taught me. He looked on at me with hatred. " He got you wrapped around his finger don't he." Eliot shook his head as he spoke. " This is not a fucking game Diamond ! This is murder ! Don't risk your life for a motherfucker who wouldn't even spit on you if you was on fire."  His eyes filled with tears and rage as he ranted on . "You got a couple days to get your shit together then we gone fix this." He said bossing me around like he did when we were kids. I felt sick , watching him walk out the kitchen and then hearing the front door slam. I teared up  a bit before walking back to Mr. Poaches bedroom. I was scared shitless.