The Flames of Cynicism

~ Chapter : 4 ~

Alicia

What. The. Actual. Fvck? I tried to calm the raging storm mixed of sadness and anger. Anxiety was taking over me. I took a long breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. " See Shaun don't act dumb.Yesterday, I read your chats with Katherine just after you dropped me. If you simply explain what's going on, it'll at least put my mind on ease." He looked at me, straight in the eyes, "I seriously don't know what are you talking about doll." Keep your calm Alicia Tyler. Inhale. Exhale. I showed him the chats. He read them as if he never texted her. "Yeah I did talk to her yesterday, what's wrong in that?" I was on the verge of breaking this cafe down or crying out of frustration. Keep calm. I smiled bitterly, "Shaun, are you blind? Or am I? You are clearly  flirting with her ! Couldn't you just shut her up? Why did you replied her back?" He laughed. He....LAUGHED. Keep calm. Inhae. Exhale. "So she was flirting? I knew she was acting weird. I couldn't quite point that out. You know why?" He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "- cause I'm so in love with you doll." 

Keep calm. Keep ca-.....The string of my sanity broke. I swear to god the way I controlled myself to scream and turn into a fvcking Godzilla was amazing. I smiled, excused myself and walked home. I need to calm down or I'll murder someone now. As I was walking down the path, I started over-thinking again, 'Where did everything went wrong?', 'Was it because of I was so self obsessed with my problems that I didn't pay attention to his needs?'. I didn't know what to do at the moment. I didn't feel like going home. I can't go to any friend's house because all of them were busy and I don't want to burden anyone right now. I went and sat on a park bench far away from people's judging eyes. Suddenly the sky started pouring rain. All the tears I've been holding back started falling uncontrollably. I closed my eyes and just let my body get drowned by the rain and tears , I couldn't care much of the surroundings. The rain made a sudden stop, at least that's what I thought. I opened my eyes and found someone holding an umbrella.I couldn't see the person clearly from my blurry vision. "Al? You ok? Not looking so good either." I can recognise his voice from a mile away too. Seeing Vernon standing there, I cried again. "Okay cry-baby let's first get you dry." I giggled saying, "Why? Cause I'm wet?" And we both broke into laughter. 

Drinking hot chocolate on a rainy day was blissful. "So are you gonna explain or not? The way you cried in the park was horrible. You looked like a giraffe on a bad day."  I playfully hit him, "Stop calling me giraffe! I'm not even tall. By the way, I have to tell you about something." After I completed explaining him with all the details, chats and mimics, he laughed. 'Oh dear lord , I had enough of laughing today'. He stopped laughing when he saw my mad face, "I'm not laughing at your situation Al ! It's just your mimic of Shaun was on point. And honestly, in my opinion dump that dumbass and have a serious talk with Kat and Sera. It will be better face to face you know, throw some punches too." Well he did have a good point on that, I should have a talk with Katherine. But I don't wanna dump Shaun without any solid reason.

I called Bonnie and asked her to come over, I don't wanna make rash decisions alone. "Sup Al! You doing good? I hea-" I pulled her inside and slammed the door. 'Wtf' was written all over her face. "I had 'the talk' with Shaun today. And....." I saw my phone ringing; It was Shaun. I didn't felt like picking it up so I tossed it aside. After hearing, Bonnie was so mad. She was one of those people who were protective when it comes to me, so her anger was understandable. The phone was ringing again and again. "Pick up the damn phone and tell him to screw off or else I'm gonna get inside that phone and show that dumb bitch his worth." I wanted to answer the phone and tell him I was okay but I don't want to, its too much drama for my daily quota. "Chill Bonnie we still don't know the whole story. Maybe there is a plausible explanation for what happened. I still have to talk with Sera and Kat, face to face." She sighed and gave me hug. Exactly what I needed. I wanted to cry but I held myself  back as I've been crying the whole damn time. She patted my back and I couldn't hold it anymore. But there were no tears. I felt...empty. I felt Ariana's 'No tears left to cry'. 

The next day I went to meet Sera and Kat. Before meeting Kat, I explained Sera about Shaun situation and she was sad. She knew what was gonna happen when we go there. She plead me not beat up Kat even though she did deserve it. When we reached there, we saw Kat sitting at the table munching her salad. "Hey! I missed you. Where is Shaun by the way?" Kat said looking around. I gritted my teeth and fake smiled, "He couldn't make it today. He's stuck at the practise." She looked at me weirdly, "But he didn't said he was going for practise today..." I was preparing to launch my fist on her face but Sera calmed me down by rubbing my arm in reassuring way. "See Kat, Alicia wants to talk to you about something and I want you to be honest with us if you see us as your friend."