Three Converts

Part 5

My strategy was to try the friendliest looking people first. It was procrastinating, but why approach the intimidating people if I didn't have to? I scouted the area. The woman selling aprons looked cheerful, but terribly busy. Maybe I could hit her during a slump. A young man my age had a booth slantwise from the apron booth. He had customers browsing his woodwork, but he looked up and caught my eye, giving me a bright smile. He was a definite possibility.

"Excuse me?" A tap on my shoulder.

"Yes?" I turned to see an elderly woman, hunched over and shaking. She looked frail and scared. I took her arm gently. "Are you okay?"

Her white hair bobbed with her head, "Yes, I think so. I'm just a little turned around. I was with my daughter, but we got separated..." she trailed off looking around.

"I'm happy to help." I guided her behind the row of vendors, out of the steady stream of people to better talk with her. "Where were you when you last saw your daughter?"

Her mouth trembled. "We were looking at some baked goods. I stopped to smell some pastries and then she was gone. I... I don't get around very well on my own."

"Of course. Let's try to find that tent. Maybe she's still there looking for you." I gave an encouraging smile and we began walking slowly. As we did, I asked if she had a relationship with the Diety. I couldn't be sure if she didn't hear me, or if she just didn't want to answer. "Because he wants a relationship with you. The things of this world are just a trap. There is a better life." She didn't tell me to shut up, which was something. I pursued my speech, telling her the importance of a simple life, away from the temptations of the world, where the council cared for our spiritual well-being and the future of our souls and could guide us to a happy eternity.

"Mom! Mom!" A woman rushed at us and took the elder lady in her arms. "Thank goodness! You scared me!" The daughter looked at me. "Shame on you! Shame! Taking advantage of an old woman? You ought to be ashamed!" Tears sprung to my eyes. She seemed to be waiting for a response, but I couldn't form words.

The older woman spoke, suddenly much more confident. "Oh please! I was fine! I'm fine. Thank you," she said to me. A nod was all I could manage.

"Thanks for nothing," her daughter spat, glaring at my robe. At me. "Now scram. And leave the vulnerable people alone!" They rushed off at a pace I was certain was too quick for the old woman. My heart thudded, a piece of it breaking off with every beat. I was trying to help. Beat. Break. I wasn't taking advantage of her! Beat. Break. I only wanted to show her a better life. Beat. Break. She was right, I should be ashamed. Beat. Break. I am full of selfish ambition. Beat. Break.

I leaned against a building. Sophie's glass was still in my hand. So much for it being good luck. I looked at the crowd of people. How could I go back in there? I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my mom and dad and Sophie. But I wasn't allowed. I had to be out here every day. If the council found out I wasn't even trying to convert anybody, they may kick me out of our society before my birthday. If I could barely be away from my family for one day, being away from them for the rest of my life may just kill me. My throat stung with suppressed tears.

Closing my eyes helped. I focused on the black curtain of my eyelids. Blank, I whispered. Blank, blank blank. It was an absurd mantra I used to go to sleep sometimes. Focusing on the blackness calmed me, made the stress of that third stupid conversion disappear, for at least a moment.

"Um. Are you okay?" Darn it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Though it was nice to be asked. Most townspeople do everything they can to avoid contact or conversation with me. I let myself smile a tiny smile before opening my eyes.