Three Converts

Part 39

I breathed out through my mouth, and walked toward Griffin. I sat beside him, but didn't look at him or talk to him. "You have a nice lunch with Dobson?" there was a little bite to his voice.

"I did."

"Did he give you the old 'tame your anger, then unleash it at the right time' lecture?" I looked at him, surprised.

"Yes, actually."

Griffin sighed as though he should be martyred for having a conversation with me. "It's none of my business, Lucy, but there is another philosophy to consider."

I cocked my head at him.

"You don't have to cage your anger, or whatever. You don't have to keep it at all. You can just let it go." I thought about that.

"But what if it just roams around in the wild, then comes back and eats me alive."

Griffin shrugged. "I think it'll only come back if you feed it."

We were quiet. The town was waking up, I wondered where Annie was, wondered if Griffin was looking for his brother.

Before I could think too long about it, I blurted, "Are you mad because I wouldn't kiss you?" He looked up at the sky. It sure did look like he was taming some anger right now. I shivered in the morning breeze. I watched Griffin try to formulate a response. His jaw tensed. Even his curls looked frustrated.

He swore under his breath. "Lucy, I don't care if you never kiss me." Okay then. At least I was clear where I stood. I swallowed and focused on breathing. In, out. In, out. I could still smell wood on Griffin even though he hadn't done any woodworking in days. How was that possible? Did the scent live in the crevices of his fingerprints?

"That's not true," he was saying. "I would definitely care. But Lucy?" I dared to look at him. "I love you whether you kiss me or not. I love you whether or not we hold hands, or hug, or share lunch. Lucy, I love you whether or not I even see you or talk to you. Just to know you are somewhere in this world makes me completely stupid with love. Stupid, stupid, stupid with love."

My breathing quickened. "Still?" I managed. You still love me? After getting to know me? Knowing how naïve and unsure and scared I am? I thought.

"Still. More than Dobson, even." He smiled, but I saw worry.

"Dobson?! He's just nice to me, Griffin. He feels bad for me." I moved closer to him.

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say."

I didn't even dignify that with a response. I put my head on Griffin's shoulder. "We okay?"

He kissed the top of my head. "Yeah. We're okay."

"I love you too, you know," I told him.

"Well, that makes me very, very happy." And I could sense his smile, smell his woodsy scent, and for a moment, things were almost perfect.

"Well!" Rocco's unmistakable voice boomed, "What's next?"

I rolled my face to the sky. It was time to deal with all the aftermath. I breathed in and forced a smile. Whatever we did next would require clear, calm thinking.

"Whadya mean 'what's next?'" one of Dobson's men demanded. "Nothing's next. We won. It's over. We can get back to our usual business." I saw him look pointedly at Dobson. No doubt they were used to a more lucrative operation. I stood and brushed off my pants.

"Thank you so much for your help," I addressed Dobson and his men. "You saved our lives. I know this isn't your usual... kind of work." Dobson smiled. "We appreciate it so much-"