A Life Without Color

Chapter 7

Total sensory deprivation has been used as an interrogation technique by many countries whilst in the depths of war. Human beings crave sensory stimulation, whether it be sound, smell, sight, or even touch. To deprive someone of all these things, is to deny their existence. Many people who have been through this torturous process claim that it was only a matter of hours before they began to question the nature of reality.

Well, here I am again. I haven't done anything worthy of this place in years. Yet the darkness of the room, and the complete silence that envelops me feels as familiar as the bed I slept in last night. I am chained standing against the wall. I'm aware from experience that the only thing I will feel over the next two days will be a shock if I start to fall asleep. If I'm lucky, they'll release me right before bed. If they're not feeling merciful,I'll have a full day of lessons to do immediately.

Whatever...

I mastered the shit we're supposedly learning when I was 10 years old. This whole thing is just so stupid. Ike wasn't the only one brought here to fail, he was just the first. That man is aware that this entire generation has no chance of meeting the benchmarks. Starting at this age makes it inevitable. This whole thing has been set up as a twisted experiment to see how I react to watching the people I call friends fall prey to the horrors of my past.

2, 3, 5, 7

Falling back into old routines, I kept myself adequately distracted by counting prime numbers. I fully immersed myself in the counting, allowing time to flow and my surroundings to blur.

4339, 4349, 4357

How many hours had it been at this point? It had to have been at least 5. I was starting to get hungry, but no food would be coming for the entirety of my stay in this cold, white hell.

7219, 7229, 7237

I never thought it would end up like this. My classmates, people I'd finally begun to consider my friends, broken by the place that I'd spent my whole life wanting to escape.

I wonder how Kouenji is dealing with all this? That Man seems like he's going to prioritize breaking him since he'll be the toughest nut to crack.

16229, 16231, 16249

My body sagged against the wall, completely drained of energy from the trauma of the past 2 days. All I wanted to do was sleep, but I was aware that doing so would cause...

Zap!

Goddamn it, that hurt! The room shocks anyone who starts to edge closer to sleep. There is no escaping the torment of this place. I learned that lesson as a child. The only thing you can do is retreat deep within yourself like I've been doing. Speaking of which...

24371, 24373, 24379

Why am I even here?

31337, 31357, 31379

Can I be sure that I even exist?

41813, 41843, 41849

Would it be better if I didn't exist?

It felt like the room was spinning around me. No wait, was I the one doing the spinning?

Zap!

I was shocked back into consciousness once again. The white walls surrounding me seemed brighter than usual. I looked down at my trembling hands. I'd been submerged in my own head for a while. It would be best to stay alert for a bit, so that I don't get so lost that I can't find my way back.

I started to contemplate my current situation. I had no intention of remaining in the white room indefinitely. The question was, would I be able to get my classmates out of here before their inevitable demise?

Realistically, I'd have the highest chances of success either working alone or in a partnership with Kouenji. However, there is no doubt in my mind that if I was to leave my classmates behind, they would be immediately disposed of. This isn't something petty like expulsion. I may be a horrible defective person, but even I wouldn't leave the people I once called friends to that fate.

So my only option is to formulate a plan to escape using Kouenji as my main tool and dragging along however many of them are left at that point. Good thing that everything is going according to plan.

2 days later

________________

In all the time I've known him, I've never seen Kouenji lose his composure. Even after getting kidnapped and beaten, he continued to wear a mask of joviality that was hard for even me to see past. But looking at him right now, he seems about ready to give up. Two whole days without any type of sensory stimulation would be hard on anyone, but it seems like it was especially effective against someone like Kouenji

I sat up on my bed and stretched my arms, gaining his attention.

"It's pretty rough in there, isn't it?"

I kept my tone light, not knowing how close the bomb strapped to his heart was to exploding.

Kouenji looked up at me, his expression raw. His face was purple and savage, his eyes bloodshot. He looked like a broken man. For someone like Kouenji, who thrives on attention, the sensory deprivation chamber is the worst kind of hell.

Slowly, his face adjusted until it was similar to his normal condescending smirk. This was interesting. I was actually watching him struggle to reconstruct his mask after having it torn apart by total deprivation.

"No need to worry about me, Ayanokoji boy! Something like that could never impact a perfect being such as myself after all!"

I guess he's refusing to admit how much that experience shook him. Well, being able to suppress negative experiences is key to survival here. I wonder how Kouenji would have done if he'd been raised in this environment? I wonder how he would react if he realized how much of what's happened these past few days was inevitable?

It's not like I'd just been sitting around idly obeying orders over the past few days. Everything had been going according to plan since I woke up and saw the whiteness that surrounded me. You see, I knew that Horikita would be dying to question me. That's why I gave her a look, indicating that I was ready to answer her questions. It's not her fault that she got beaten. After all, a normal girl would never expect that kind of punishment for speaking out of turn. I also knew that Sudou wouldn't be able to contain himself after watching the girl he loved get hurt. To be honest, I was kind of surprised that he'd waited that long to get violent.

If baiting Horikita hadn't worked, I would have had to try and bait Sudou into attacking me to get him hauled off. I was well aware that Kouenji wouldn't try anything on his own at that point. He's the type to protect himself at all costs, and attacking the guards held no benefit for him. However, after a day of being constantly condescended and targeted, the narcissist in him was primed to snap.

When I judged it was the right time, I spoke out of turn to comfort Sudou, drawing the ire of the guard. I caught the fist aimed at me, rousing Kouenji's fighting spirit, just as I'd predicted. I could have manipulated Kouenji into committing some other kind of offense, but I knew it had to be severe enough to warrant the deprivation chamber. That's why I told him that it would be easier not to resist when the guards came in. Kouenji's obstinate nature wouldn't allow him to take that sitting down. He had to fight, to prove that he wouldn't be beholden to anything I said. The past day's hardships also contributed to a slight decline in his mental state, making him easier to manipulate.

Why did I do this?

Kouenji is the type of person who could survive quite a bit of hardship without giving an inch. I needed him to experience total deprivation, the worst possible experience for his type, in order to soften him up a bit. As he is right now, he's uncontrollable. That's a problem that needs to be remedied as soon as possible.

A blade that refuses to cut on command is no use to me. I know the white room better than anyone else here, and I'm the only one that can get us out of it. When that time comes, I'll need your help, Kouenji. Before then, I'll have to break you in just the right ways to ensure that you'll be the perfect tool to get us out of here.