The Long Fall

nine

I woke up with a headache. Groaning, I sat up and saw a mess on the floor. The clothes were everywhere, and there was evidence of a drunk night.

"Sheng'er." I froze, knowing his voice too well. Turning my head, I saw Tao looking at me with a soft smile. And that's when my memory returned.

"Ge, why did you do this to me?" I sobbed into the phone, a wine bottle already empty.

"Where are you? You can't be drunk on your own. It's not safe." He asked, concern in his voice.

He came to my room. I punched him again and again while crying. He took the bottle from me, laying me down on the bed. I held him close, pulling him into the bed as well.

"Sheng'er, I didn't do anything to you. You don't have to worry. I know you're in a relationship." Tao softly said, looking at my panicked face as I tried to remember what happened.

"Why'd you stay after I fell asleep? You could've left." I asked, pulling myself into a hug. I felt exposed and nervous, two feelings I hated.

"Kai asked me to keep you safe until your return. He called while you were crying last night, and I explained the situation to him." He answered, sighing a bit before he sat up as well. "The clothes are everywhere because you insisted on emptying your suitcase to hit me with everything in it."

"Sounds reasonable with what you did to me," I replied, making him wince a bit. "You broke my heart those years ago. What else could I do but hit you for it?"

"Forgive me. Let me back into your life. Allow me to love you." He answered, full sincerity in his voice.

I sighed, my heart aching again. It was something that I'd worked on and covered up while I was with Kai. But without him here, I feared that I wouldn't be able to fight the heartache.

"I'm fine without you. I don't want to let you in again until I'm okay with it." I told him, earning a nod in understanding.

Three days later I returned to Seoul, and Kai waiting for me at the airport. We hugged and then went back to my house. I unpacked everything while he attempted to make dinner for the two of us.

"I, I'm not very hungry," I said, making him pout.

"But, but I worked so hard!" He whined, looking at me with a sad expression.

"It's not what you did, don't worry. I want something else right now." I replied, pulling him from the kitchen.

He smiled with excitement, knowing where I was leading him. With a simple kiss, he had me in the bed and underneath him.

"Saengie, was it really this hard in you?" Kai asked as he examined my arms, the fresh wounds hard to miss. "You could've called me when you felt this way. I would've talked to you."

I winced as the memories of that dark night came back to haunt me. It was the same night Tao came looking for me, before he had gotten to me. A broken bottle became a perfect opportunity to end my life, and I wanted to cease existing because of how much pain I was in.

"I didn't want to disturb you, since you're so busy with your comeback," I replied, cuddling close to him and letting him embrace me in a warm hug. "I did my best to not give in, but there were so many painful memories forcing their way in."

"Promise me you'll call next time." He whispered, kissing my forehead gently.

Four months passed by quickly, and I found myself sitting alone in the big, scary office of the CEO. My file was in his hands, and a glare on his face held me in a panicked state.

"We are willing to cancel your contract, but you must do this for us." He told me, making me shake my head.

"I want to keep the child," I replied, holding my stomach with pride. "And I don't want to break up with Kai, because then the child would be fatherless."

"It's either do those two things or stay under contract but no longer receive any promotions, therefore no pay." He threatened, making me tense up again.

"How long do I have to choose?" I asked, trying to buy more time for a decision that could alter my life.

"You'll have this week. Any longer, and I'll see you made your decision to disobey and no longer receive financial support from us." He answered, letting me leave his office.

Going back home, I began to clean the house. A chore that helped me focus, it allowed me to think deeply and lose myself from reality for a while.

"How did it go?" Kai asked, wrapping his arms around my waist as I finished cleaning the dishes. I sighed and leaned into his embrace. "What did he say?"

"I can either have an abortion and keep my job, break up with you and keep my job, or do neither and no longer get paid," I replied, making him wince at my words. "I can't leave unless I do both."

"Why can't they just let us be?" He asked, groaning in frustration. "I know they hate us being together, but it's not like it interferes with our jobs or anything."

"I don't want to raise a child fatherless, but I also don't want to get rid of an innocent life," I told him, earning another sigh from the elder. "But being an idol would be hard as a mother, so I'd like to stop. It's not like I have very many promotions anyways."

"Let me talk to them. It shouldn't just be on you alone. I'm the father, I should have an opinion." He replied, kissing my neck a bit to relax me. "We'll get through this. Trust in me, okay?"

"Always, Ge," I said, smiling as he kissed my lips.