Isis Winters is a mid-twenties common girl struggling with self image and finding the right confidence to live on with her life. Her husband doesn't make things much easier, with his persistent attitude and the harsh way he tells her to change the w...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Nasir Evans
I spent a lot of my life wondering when it would be my turn to do the outstanding things I watched people around me and on TV doing. It always killed me to hear the constant approval from my mom for other children, those who graduated at the early age of fourteen went on to medical school, and graduated top of their class. Expectation from others to be something you don't see in yourself can eat you alive because that self-deprivation never ends.
I still have a long life ahead of me, 33 years was never an age that hurt anybody. Until you see what some people have accomplished at 23 and you start to look at yourself like there's something wrong with you. Are they overachievers or are you the underachiever? What if it's neither and you're both moving at whatever pace works for the both of you? I wish my mind would allow me to be rational like that.
I used to think that I had shit figured out. Me and my mother never really got along not because she had higher expectations of me, but because she didn't have any expectations of me. So eager to prove her wrong all because I felt that my dream was one to be followed, I didn't listen. It may seem as though everything is fine, but often it's not. However, shit could always be worse.
I sat at the kitchen table flipping through several envelopes of bills, some paid, some overdue, and some new. I sighed deeply, trying to weigh out my options and choose which would be the best to pay right now and better yet, how I would pay it. As I pondered on that, the front doorknob rattled, and in walked Nadia, my... girlfriend? Situation? Person. We vibe, and sometimes we don't. I haven't asked her out, she hasn't pressured me to. We haven't known each other for that long.
"Hey, Nas. Sorry for barging in like this, but I called and you didn't answer." She said, placing her purse on the table before planting a kiss on my forehead.
"Oh yeah, sorry. My phone is upstairs." I motioned in the direction I was referring to.
"What you up to?" She grabbed one of the papers I had previously placed down, scanning it with her eyes. "These all bills?"
"Same shit, different day." I shrugged slightly and settled on paying the light bill first.
"How are you gonna pay all of these at once?" I internally groaned as she asked that. Money is a tough conversation for us. I'm not completely broke, but everybody has their hardships. I can support myself to an extent, shit just gets a little mixed up sometimes.
I shook my head and put the papers down. "I'll just go fight tonight."
She picked up her head and looked at me with a concerned expression on her face. "Are you serious? Nasir, no. You told me you wouldn't do that anymore."
"I'll be fine." I used to participate in underground fighting. Placing bets was how I made all of my money, that's when I was the most financially stable. Sure the environment isn't the best. Sure, I got hurt the last time and that's why I haven't been back in a while. Sure, dangerous people come down there. But fighting is what I'm good at and if there's a way to make money off of it, I'll do what is necessary.
