Dysmorphia

All To Me

"And have you talked to him about any of this?" Isis's good— and only— friend, Desirae spoke to her as she parted another section of her hair.

Isis sighed deeply. "Girl, you know damn well I have. He doesn't care, that's the problem."

Desirae paused, the comb still in her hand. "Well... Divorce is always an option. Tilt your head back." She instructed, although she moved her head herself.

Isis shook her head slightly. "I don't think I could divorce Keith. Regardless of how he makes me feel sometimes, I can't deny the love is still there. At least, on my end. He's not always like this, you know?" Disappointment was laced all over her tone. She still loved her husband, she hoped he still loved her. She hoped this was just a phase, a bump in the road to get over.

"But more than he should be, abi?" Desirae said, leaving Isis in a moment of silence. "I don't wanna tell you how to handle your relationship, let alone marriage. But one thing for sure, two things for certain, a husband don't make you feel like you ain't shit. Cause you are the shit and if he can't see that, he ain't nothing but a blind loser, on my soul."

One thing about Desirae is that she never sugarcoated when it came to Isis. She was always going to get her together and get anybody else together who hurt her. The two of them were on opposite sides of the same coin, Isis being a skinny girl and Desirae being plus-sized. They shared similar experiences with body shaming and fetishization, leading them to be lifelong friends.

"Let's talk about something else, this shit makin' me depressed. What else is new with you? Positive, abeg." She continued to twist her hair.

"Well, I have started working out. I got a personal trainer. Nasir Evans, he's a boxer. Or was, I haven't seen anything regarding him recently." Isis shrugged.

"He real fine? Lightskin, tatted like a Chipotle bag, real mean looking?" Desirae leaned over a little bit to look at her.

"Well, I guess you can describe him as that, yes." Isis chuckled. She never paid much attention to Nasir's looks, seeing that she was married and most of the time the focus was on her workouts and not the man training her. However, if she ever took a moment to steal a glance, she'd probably notice what her best friend described.

She sucked her teeth. "Now that... That's a man right there. What's he like?"

"Well, a bit unorthodox. Overall, he's not bad. We have good conversations and he's been keeping me pretty motivated in our workouts. He's a bit snarky, but his intentions are good. Really helpful." Isis nodded.

"Mhm... So basically I'm hearing that he's been more supportive of you in a couple of weeks than your husband has been in all four of the years that y'all been married?"

She chuckled. "I ain't say all that. It's his job to be supportive, what else would I pay him for?"

"Regardless of why he's doing it, you deserve to feel good about yourself. If Nasir helps with that, then a win is a win." She finished the twist she was working on and moved onto the next.

Isis pondered for a moment, thinking about the contrast between Nasir and Keith. "Maybe so."

When Isis returned home, feeling both relieved from her hair depression and husband depression. To her surprise, when she got back Keith had been sitting in their bedroom paying attention to nothing but what was on the TV.